with the importance of just a couple of inches.

where oh where ... does the phrase " the slightest trim possible on the length" translate to "please hack on this with wild abandon"

when do they teach that in cosmetology school - cause i wanna be there that day to speak for the voice of the people.

now i'm sad.

i'm gonna go be by myself for a while - hopefully the numbers can make me feel better this weekend - but fuck, they have better ( and now longer ) hair than me.

...that can only mean ONE THING!

SLUMBER PARTY!!

Just a warning, if you think you hear shrieks of delight, high pitched giggling, blenders being fired up, and the 'thud' of people passing out from nail polish fumes .....


you'd be right.

It's slumber party time , #3ky, #3sc, #4westbygod(mary), and #5indy(stacey) are all decending upon my house on friday ....

that's right - fire up the emails, phone calls, messageboards, whatever to get the word out.

prepare ye for jealousy ... this is the first time in over a freakin year - that we're all going to be in the same room at the same time ...

and just so that other parts of the country aren't interrupted, you might wanna go ahead and stock up on beer, bourbon, chocolate, coffee, salty foods, cheesy foods, and fried foods...and beer, oh and did i mention, the beer ... cause we're gonna eat/drink it all this weekend - just a friendly warning..


oh - and as an additional warning ......

PLAN ON GETTING A DRUNK-N-DIAL CALL FROM US THIS WEEKEND .... CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED...PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

and they're calling for "winter weather" this weekend - specifically tonight and tomorrow...

so all good southern people know what i HAD to do last night.

go to the grocery store with everyone else and gather provisions.....

now before i get too ahead of myself ... lemme clear a few things up.

yes, i'm southern... all my people are southern ( if you call them your 'people' you're southern ), i have an appreciaion of pagents ( adults only please ), county fairs, any kind of fried food, a girl crush on Ms. Delta Burke, i know all the words to all the episodes of "designing women", sheriff Andy Taylor was the first crush i can remember, and as mentioned in a much earlier post - i do not shock when see that some has a squirrel on their head...as a pet. as we say - i'm so southern i'm related to myself...that's a quote from Brett Butler - she went to my high school don 't ya know .....

anyway.


i am not a nascar watching, cousin dating, dukes of hazzard missing, booger eating, ummm 'dem pigsfoots are lookin' mighty fine ... kinda girl. as long as we're clear on that .. i will say that i am originally from TEXAS ... and i have big hair....i also have a big ass, and i think i need the balance.....

ok - back to the topic at hand.

southerners and winter weather panic.

i myself come by this honestly. i have never lived anywhere that it snowed often, i have never driven in it - and i still don't. here, we tend to get ice storms and not so much snow -so i believe in keeping my fat ass at the house .... BUT i do participate in the 'pre-snow panic' .... except for me it's not panic - it's more of an excuse to go watch other people panic ... and to buy lots of junk food.

see here, if there is a CHANCE that we will get more that 1 flurry...the television stations start the panic with "storm watch, winter weather alert, storm tracker, yadda yadda yadda" and when that happens you're supposed to go to the grocery store and buy EVERYTHING, go to home depot and buy a generator and gas heater, and but all the blankets the stores carry. It's pretty funny to sit back and watch .... especially when you realize that at least here, almost NO ONE is from here ... they're all transplanted yankees who are freaking out .... saying how no one knows how to drive in this weather ( hint: all the southern people are at home watching television )


so - if you dare driving in the mess - come see me - i'll be in my toasty home with the dog ... eating brownies and curled up on the sofa watching movies .....

like coal miners daughter.

pop quiz...

how many ways are there out of the holler?
and what are they?

prizes to the winner...

I adore the color pink. This is a relatively new development. When I was a kid, well, and younger woman, I hated that color. I saw it as weak and pale and frail. I don't know what turned it around for me...but I love it now. I rarely wear it ( cause i wear almost only black ... long story ) I have been known to sport it on fingernails and toenails ( and parade costumes as well ) .... but I think whenever I re-do my guest bedroom I'm going to do it up in super girly pink. I mean why the hell not, I have a 30 year mortgage ... might as well have a silly room too.

My house has tons of color in it ( although with white walls, much to mary and dave's irritation) but for someone who wears such dark colors - i really do love bright and shiny and sparkly things in my house .... i think it's always so interesting to see someone's home and how it looks after you've known a person for a while and think you have an idea of who they are.

I for someone who is as silly and fun as i am ( humility was always lost on me) sometimes struggle with the perception that you can't be silly and smart. I know my circle of friends contains some of the silliest women on the planet. I know 3 of us who actually wear anklets that say "pornfruit" ... yes to church - then i for one, refuse to explain it and let people wonder....they are also each so very smart ... but they are also wise ...do you understand what i mean by wise? so i know silly and wise works ... hell i'm silly and smart and wise .... silly works for me, and sometimes when i say silly i mean acting on the little spark of joy we have .. that one that kids show when they throw their heads back and do that full on body laugh...i feel lucky to say that i do that laugh about 3 times a day ... it's the best ... i love that childlike joy ... i like the little things - things that are such small thing.. i still love the idea of having purple hair if that's what you want. Why can't i do that and still be serious in my job? I love that my goddaughters think i'm silly and funny.... that i let them get away with SO much - but they know i'd take a bullet for either one of them if i could save them....I love that my friends and i will go out in public and wear huge tiaras and when people ask why - we say because we're queens, that's what. and when small shrunken old women smile and wave - we take them slap off of our heads and let them wear them for a while to be silly - or just plain give them away ... I love that i have a sock monkey ( yes a sockmonkey ) sitting on my TV in the den in a sparkly sequined watermelon themed outfil ... AND that i have one to match ... or does she match me ... doesn't matter.

We have to use blue ink pens at work, would the world really fall apart if i used say .... purple ?

I guess i'm just noticing all the really terrible things in the world that are very very important. yesterday when i heard that more marines had been killed in Iraq - i looked around until i could see where they were from - because my mind went to my friend who has a marine son there. I also thought of my friend who is in training right now and ready to go over .... i thought about the homless people i drive by on my way to work.... and the things that are such nothings that people make into huge deals ... and that get's in the way of their joy.

so here's something ... pearls of wisdom from the Barenaked Ladies
"and if there's someone you can live without, then do so.
and if there's somone you can just shove out then do so."

I take this to mean, don't worry about the little stuff, the person who irritates you just because she isn't dead yet....the fact that you dropped the cake on the floor ( yea, that was me last night ), or that you wanted to sleep those extra 10 minutes .... take the time to go enjoy the pink ...( wow that sounded dirty - and i guess i could mean it that way too ... but you know where i'm going with this)

**ok - so champagene lady's comment reminded me of a song i've heard Patti LuPone ( who i ADORE!!!!!!!) sing recently ... these are the lyrics ....

(J.Young, N.Washington, V.Young)

[Recorded April 16, 1984, New York] by Frank Sinatra

Hey don't save your kisses - just pass 'em around

You'll find my reason - is logically sound

Who's gonna know that you past them around

A hundred years from today

And why crave a penthouse - that's fit for a queen

You're nearer heaven - on mamma Earth's green

If you had millions - what would they all mean

One hundred years from today

So laugh and sing - make love the thing

Be happy while you may

There's always one - beneath the sun

Who's bound to make you feel that way

The moon is shining - and that's a good sign

Cling to me closer - say you'll be mine

Remember baby we won't see it shine

A hundred years from today, a hundred years from today

i'm grateful. grateful for the color, the joy, the silly in my life.
i'm grateful for the HOT PINK.

Memo

To: commuters on I-75 south from north metro into downtown Atlanta (and back)
From: Allison (#3ga)
Date: January 26, 2005
Re: observations, suggestions, demands of fellow commuters


I, like you spend approximately 2+ hours per day in the car commuting to and from work ( ok environmental people, shut up – there is NO convenient bus/train option from my county into the city – and car pooling isn’t an option … I’m a liberal democrat, a vegetarian 99% of the time, I recycle, I’m a frekin’ social worker, what more do you want from me…) ok, back to the commute – as I have been making this commute for upwards of 10 years now .. I have made some observations that I need to share with you… when applicable ( or when I feel like it ) I’ll also include corrective actions to take.

1. the right lane is for the slow people. Not slow as in a mentally challenged way. As in a “I like to drive slow … and during ‘rush’ hour too” - here’s a handy way to tell if you should be in the other lane. If you are in the far left, or hell medium left lane – and everyone else is going faster and people are willing to kill themselves and others to get out from behind you – GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE FAST LANE.

2. there are these nifty things on the back of your car – they are called brake lights. They help the rest of us who are traveling at a high rate of speed to keep from slamming the holy hell out of the back of your car – GET YOUR FUCKING BRAKE LIGHTS FIXED.

3. while we’re talking about lights – let’s discuss headlights ( no, not as in boobs – as in actual car headlights ) if you have one headlight out do NOT, repeat do NOT turn your beams on HIGH to compensate. All you will do is blind the person in front of you – and if that person happens to not have break lights – YOU’RE BOTH FUCKED.

4. turn signals – do I really have to talk about this? Yes I do – they come standard on EVERY SINGLE CAR MADE …. Notice I didn’t say ‘optional’ I said standard …. USE THE FUCKIN' SIGNAL

5.to the people with the fish on their car. Don’t drive like an asshole – it makes the rest of the Christian people look bad, and have you seen TBN? We look bad enough already.

6. to the cars that are filled to the gills with day labor workers. I should be able to give you some kinda secret sign that will indicate to you that one of your laborers has made that sign with the 2 fingers making a ‘v’ and sticking their tounges out – then you would be able to eject them out of the car and let the women of the world run over them – cause we FUCKIN hate that sign

7. ok – there is the crazy street preacher near peachtree center – he’ll be carrying the HUGE cross on his back – he’s there almost every day – no reason to slam on brakes and look …

8. please let your tourist friends know – rush hour in Atlanta runs from approximately 6:00 am until about 10:00am and starts back up around 2:30 pm until around 7:30pm. Please ask them to plan interstate travel accordingly. Tourists take their lives into their own hands when they wanna slow down and POINT to various landmarks in the city, ie: the Varsity, CNN, TBS, the Olympic flame, etc.

and finally

9. can we please review the importance of the “thank you” wave. If I have been kind enough to let you in front of me in traffic – you MUST gimme the little thank you wave – or when you look back- you will see me cursing you.

I hope this little reminder will make the daily commute less hellish for all of us.

i had an excellent idea of something to write about today right before i fell asleep last night.

but did i write it down?

NO.

do i remember it?

NO.

so once again, i'll just be shooting an entry off from the top of my head, sometimes these turn out to be my best ones - othertimes they just fufill my promise to myself to write everyday.

so - you all know i have these amazing friends. seriously i don't know what i've done to deserve these smart, witty, silly, beautiful, talented, amazing, loving, truthful, kind, and ass kicking friends.

i have a special relationship with 4 of my friends ... we refer to ourselves as "the numbers" ( i'm a #3 - duh) and as we say - "we roll 5 deep". these are not friends i get the honor of seeing everyday - or even every week. but they are as close to me as my best friend who lives the next town up, and i'm the godmother of her kids and i see her all the time.

it's an interesting being in a group of 5 that really has no secrets. we know each other, warts and all. and while we're all close, we're close on different levels, and from what i can tell there's no envy or jealousy or feelings of being left out. there's no leader, we're all equally committed to each other, there's no ass kissing to 'belong', it's really amazing.

i ( as is no secret ) had a really shitty 2004 ... but this year is turning out really well. i didn't have a lot of energy to contribute to the group ( or so it felt ) and the others rallied like i can't even tell you - would call just to make me laugh, or listen to me cry, send a card to say i love you, or just to check in every day and let me know they were thinking of me - and wishing me good juju. and all that juju worked .... things are really so very much better now i can't even begin to describe it, i feel stronger than i have in years ... and i'm grateful for all of them my best friend Christine, and my sisters in every sense of the word...stacey, christel, mary,and lauren.

2 of my girls are going thru a really rough patch right now and all i want to do is hug them and tell then that "i'll fix it" ... unfortunately due to distance and the nature of the problems - i can't fix it.

but i can tell you love you, i adore you, each of you in your own way 'saved' me last year ... and now- let the rest of us do that for you.

nothing.

that's right.

nothing.

there are so many times when i say i'm going to take (whatever day) "off" and do nothing. but then i end up running an errand or two, doing a couple of loads of laundry, runnin' the vaccum - something.

but not yesterday.

nothing.

here was my day

7:30 - shawn calls from training - is having a rough morning and just wants to talk for a second..this is fine - because mike always gets up around this time too.... so i talk to shawn and then take mike out

7:45 - back to bed

10:30 - get up - take mike out ... go hunker down on the sofa-read/nap

11:30 - start to make coffee- decide to go for chai instead, cause it's easier - watch bad movies on lifetime/nap

2:30 - turn the tv off for a full on nap

4:30 - take mike out ... go play on the computer

5:30 - shower...back to computer

6:30 - see what's available for dinner ... take mike out

7:00 - eat dinner - talk on phone

9:00 - desperate housewives

10:00 - more phone - take mike out

10:30 - bed.


that my friends is a good damn day.

oh yeah - i also got a call for a "visit" from a boy .. and was like ...um, nah - i'm really comfortable - and don't feel like working today.

some days i love being ME!

Don’t you love stories that start that way?

Ok I hate to Edith Bunker this story up, but I have to. Several years ago I met this boy online. I live in Atlanta, he lived in Maryland. I am a Metaphysical Christian whitey whiterson - and he is a Hindu born in India. We talked online for a long time – then on the phone.

Sparks.

Except for one thing – he didn’t know I was big, fat, a BBW, amazing, beautiful…. And I didn’t know he was an asshole… as the story develops we can see how we all live and learn…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

This boy and I really hit it off – visited each other, talked several times a day, wrote sweet letters and e-mails, talked of growing old together…and had great sex.

I was working when we met, he lost his job following the fallout of some 9/11 effects on the travel industry. I helped with his ego in looking for work, and he helped me with my ego by “loving” me.

I really thought this was the one, we discussed how the wedding would be, how we would raise multi-religion kids, how his family would accept whitey, how we would get our dogs to get along…everything.

One day, he asked me to grow old with him. I more than happily agreed.

He was taking MBA classes, returned to work…and started complaining about how fat I was/am. I did many stupid things to try and lose weight to be what he wanted. Smoked, drank, threw up, just to be someone I’m not for him. See I have extra weight on me sure, but he’s fucked in his soul … but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Late in the fall I noticed he was starting to pull back, and I ( was stupid, and young, and scared to lose him ) started pulling tighter, I humbled myself in SO many ways to be what/who he wanted me to be. I started thinking first about what would HE like, not what would I like … I realize this is as much my fault as it was his … I’m not in denial about that.

Then he just stopped. Stopped calling, stopped writing, stopped answering the phone, stopped loving.

Then one day ping you have mail… I had a letter from him one or two weeks before Christmas to tell me he was breaking up with me, because I was fat. I wasn’t what he physically wanted in a mate. He didn’t feel that he could take me out and show me off – cause I didn’t come wrapped in the package he wanted to be seen with.

This killed a small ( or not so small ) part of my soul.

I cried and cried and cried. And felt stupid, and un loveable, and ugly. For a long time. I was convinced that all men felt like he did, I didn’t like or trust men for a long time.

And this was 3 years ago. I had not heard a word from him.

Until yesterday.

I was eating lunch at my desk at work, going thru personal e-mails, and checking blogs ..i wander over to hotmail, and my heart drops to the floor.

I see an e-mail entitled “Hey you”

I know it's been a long time since we've talked, but Iwas wondering if I could call you sometime and catchup? If so, please email me your number. If not,please tell Mike that Ramsey and Tori say "hi, bark,bark, lick, lick."
R

My brain went straight to the WHAT THE FUCK place.

I read it a few times, and responded…out of curiosity – of course you can call … here are my #’s. ( actually my first thought was “holy shit, he’s sick and has to call and tell me)

So a couple of hours later the cell phone rings while I’m at the office – and his first words to me are “what are you eating” …

WHAT?

He says “it sounds like you’re eating something” … I actually pulled the phone away from my ear to look at it – like … can this be real? I have to be on some old ass drug trip – except I’ve never done drugs.

So we’re not 5 minutes into the conversation…surreal as it was, and I asked “how long has it been since we’ve spoke”

and

THIS FUCKER’S ANSWER is “when did you start your diet?” …
I answer, out of shock, and because I’m now in control of me with him … said … at lunch – I start diets everyday.
He then says “ are you still dieting and exercising” I say “I’m GREAT!” and he’s all “really” and I say “I’m fantastic” …

Then it happens.

HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT OUR PREVIOUS SEX LIFE.

How great it was, how I was the best whatever he’s ever had … yadda yadda yadda how no woman has ever done whatever like me. To which I respond. You shoulda stuck with the fat girls.
He then starts ASKING ABOUT MY BOOBS!! … AS IN HOW ARE YOU BOOBS??

. I say, they’re fine, still right up front.

Amazing.

He wants to call later and have phone sex.

YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND.

Boys are stupid.

Throw rocks at them.

At least this boy is stupid.


And here, this will help you sleep less at night – he’s in Homeland Security … Sleep well.

stay tuned dear friends...

cause i'm putting together the mostfuckinawesomeist boys are stupid story ever - i got an email and phone call yesterday from a serious blast from my past yesterday ( and another reminder to stay the FUCK outta maryland ... but that's another story)


and it's more than a little interesting as it comes on the heels of yesterdays blog entry.....

the universe is wonderful and mysterious sometimes ....


and i dig the shit outta that.

no seriously.

real romantic love.

real i'm gonna live the rest of my life with this person, grow up, have babies, go thru deaths, debt, love, change, with and grow old together.

i'm letting people comment anon. on here - so if you wanna say - but not say who you are - go for it.

i ask this:
* cause i know i love my friends. seriously. i adore them.
* i love my parents
* i love my dog
* hell, i love kevin spacey

but i don't know that i've ever been in romantic love before. i've been in like, lust, and in complete adoration - obsession maybe even. but i don't know about love.

how did you know he/she was 'the one'?
did they come in the package you expected?
are they what your parents expected of/for you?


***i'm sure i'll add more questions as i think on this - i'm just curious***

who knew ....

as anyone who reads this, and most of my girlfriends know - i am in the process of growning my hair back out ... it's getting longer - but still isn't long enough yet - and is making me inFUCKINGsane .... but luckily for me - my cube farm mate here at work is a braider savant. I have her do my hair for me a couple of times a week ... and this was one of those days.

so today - she's starting the braid and says..did you not put product in your hair today because it feels different ... and i started laughing with the co-worker who was also in the cube while we played salon .... and the braider says - no, you know when you do someone's hair all the time - you learn what it usually feels like ........so i have someone doing my hair often enough that she knows what it feels like daily - i don't know why i find that so funny but i do.


#3sc's kitty took off yesterday - so let's send her kitty juju please - cause we need her to come home .....

yesterday - or the day before i can't remember - Kristen ( see link on sidebar ) was talking about her neighbors and their 900 children who like to leave their crap everywhere ... and it got me thinking about some of my neighbors. I live in this great neighborhood that i really like...it has a few different 'mini' subdivisions ... and the one i live in should really be called "the minivan" instead of "the pines" .... see I am one of 2 single women who live there ( and no single me of course ) and the other single chick and i are the ONLY ones without a minivan, regular van, or SUV ..... it just makes me laugh ... people have asked more than once about why i have a "family" house when it's just me .... to which i of course answer - because i can .. DUH.

I am lucky however, that i really like my neighbors and we have fun... cocktails, cook outs ( not BBQ's - i'll give you my rant on that later), pet setting,...in fact one of my next door neighbors is my favorite kind - the kind you wave to everyday - say - how are you! don't you love this weather, your flowers look wonderful... yadda yadda yadda - and keep on moving ... LOVE IT. The people that lived there before them- not so great. I guess as actual human beings they're ok .. but as neighbors big ball of suckage. The first time i knew i hated them was one happy warm spring saturday here in atlanta - i'm watching a spring training game on tv.... and i hear thud.....thud.....thud....thud. And this little no neck monster is using the side of my house as something to beam tennis balls off of. So, i pull myself away from greg maddox and go outside and tell him to stop he - he gives me the dull blank stare of the inbred, cousin dating, booger eating, 7 year old that he is ... so i knock on the neighbors door and say - i don't mean to be a pest - but could you please ask your own personal spawn of satan to throw the ball on his own goddamn house and not mine.

things are ok ... fast forward a year ... i have mike now - he's a puppy and lives in a HUGE crate when i'm not in the house ...... i leave for 2 hours to go to my goddaughter's birthday party - and i come home to my neighbors having a party - fine, no big deal, and they are playing some sorta testosterone game in MY yard .... my dog has gone into protecto mode and crawled/scratched/fought his way out of the crate and greets me at the door dripping blood off his face and paws ... and there are drops of blood all over my white floor.

some people might have been calm.
i am not that person.

you can fuck with me.
you can fuck with my yard.

do not, i repeat do NOT fuck with my dog.

i lost my everloving mind. i went out back yelling for them to get off of my yard .... asked what the hell was wrong with them....then took mike to the emergency vet to make sure he was ok .... i was NOT a happy woman. I still get those hot angry tears when i think about it.


eventually they moved - cause see they're such good Catholics (i 'm not catholic bashing - stay with me ) that they have their kids enrolled in a private Church of God school....wha? that makes no sense you say ... to which i ask what's your point ... anyhow the school moved to the next town north - and so did they - thank God.


now my other neighbors are great .... no complaints .... and so that's a yay....it's handy to have local drinking buddies...who also have dogs and fences .... fun for everyone.....


( i've started this entry and stopped it about 20 times, and have not proofread ... so God help you in making sense of this ... good luck to you!)

ok so this is gonna be a hodge podge of stuff and i'm ok with that ... so saddle up - here we go.

a friend of mine said to me the other day that i struck him as the type of person that has 30 different bottle of stuff in the shower ...now i assure you this was not intended in a bitchy way ( or if it was i refused to take it as such ... cause i like it when i come out looking good in the stories - this should not be new information ) ANYWAY ... so i'm in the shower this morning - and as i'm letting the conditioner do it's thing ( sidebar - i could write PAGES on the love of conditioner ... but anyway ) so i'm looking around and i counted 28 bottles in the shower. Now those of you who have been to my house know that my shower is one of those smallish glass showers with the seperate garden tub ... and yet between shampoo, conditioner, body scrubs, body oils, body wash, feet scrubbin' stuff, face wash, and shaving stuff .... 28 bottles.... keep in mind that doesn't include what's on the shelf that i'm not "using" at the moment, what's in the other bathrooms, or what's on the tub .... damn - that's a lot of stuff .....

oh and get this... ok we've established that i love the bath products ... i love hair products too ( it's the curse of the fat girl who can't lose a buttload of weight by tomorrow, but as God as my witness, my hair, nails, makeup, accessories,and clothes can be PERFECT daily ) anyway - i tend to be loyal to no one brand - but i am a bit of a snob - i won't use just anything ..... so this weekend i'm staying at a friends house and all she has is dandruff shampoo and suave products. I'm generally not a suave girl - ....but that may change soon. I used it and my hair was FANFUCKINGTASTIC .... so i bought some ( green apple, thank you very much ) later that night i got together with the quasi-new boy who could NOT stop talking about how good my hair smelled and how soft it was ..... AND I HAD SPENT A TOTAL OF $1.78 on the shampoo and conditioner ..... sheesh .... oh well - good to know .. i could have saved SO much money - cause trust me - Matrix is WAY more than 89 fucking cents!

ok what else - so i'm driving to work this morning - listening to the Dixie Chicks and singing along at the top of my lungs until i see something that stopped me COLD.....so you know those self-employed people who advertise on their own cars .... well evidently i was in traffic behind a personal trainer ( while i was eating a pop tart and making MMMMMMMM good noises just for spite ) when i saw the tag line "fitness results start when you do" ok - i can get with that .... here's the part that stopped me ... it was his web page addy

NAMEdothard.com

is it just me - or does that name scream porn????

just wondering ....


i considered writing about American Idol today - but i thought lots of people were going to do that - so i'm taking a pass....

ok and here's the last traffic report for the day - i was almost in town today and i noticed a car to my right - glanced over and i saw a dreamcatcher hanging off the rear view window.

huh?

those are for sleep.

driving is not for sleep.

case closed.

so today i'm going to try to write something that's a.) sorta long and 3.) not total shit.

I think i shall begin with my love of the long weekend. i don't care who you are - a day where you actually get PAID for staying at home ... not showering....watching tv...im'ing with friends...walking the dog...and eating cookies .... is a good fuckin' day. i don't care what you think about the leaders of this country ( and we all know how i feel ) - it's times like this where i'm reminded what a good fuckin' country this is.

I also had a sleep over with my best friend this weekend- that doesn't suck - her husband and kids were out of town - and i took my dog over to his brothers for a play night - and we had a grown up sleep over ( wait that sounded dirty - and i didn't mean it that way ) anyhow ... we watched 13 going on 30 ( cause of my new love of Paul Ruffalo, rhymes with buffalo), Stepford Wives, and Legally Blonde...oh what a fun girl night - no deeds to do no promises to keep.

and sunday - wee - sunday was fun...those who need to know about it, know about it ... which brings us to monday - sleeping late, no shower, watching tv.... love it.

so i called stacey this morning and woke her up with funny tales that make her do the way loud wake up the dog laugh .... and i think there is not a whole lot better than that ... it was so much that stacey called me later this morning at the office with a "wha???" which made me giggle - and we all know that's one of my favorite things in the world.

know what else is - bourbon and coke. that right there is a damn good drink - and i don't care how white trash that makes me ... i right at this moment would cut off my leg and feed it to a dog for some bourbon and coke - but as they frown on that at the office i don't see it happening anytime soon..but in my head - i'm doing the Homer Simpson ....ummmmmm Bourbon.

upon review it would seem that i have failed miserably at my quest for a post that wasn't shit. i swear to God, i used to write some good stuff - and i'm hoping that one day that will return....but until then, thanks for putting up with the hack.

i love you all, wait, that's a lie, i love most of you. :)

allison

i admit it..i love greeting cards. I have a stack around the house for all occasions...birthdays, holidays, lovers, mamograms .. i can spend days in card shops laughing out loud and nudging the stranger next to me saying - oh my god read this read this....and i love the quirky little places that have those wonderful funky irreverant cards that you just can't find anywhere else ....

well the other day m*ary' and i were on the phone ( as per usual ) and we started discussing the cards that we simply can't find in stores ... ( and have actually needed in our lives...)

ezample.
1." I'm so sorry your husband turned out gay."
2. "So, you have a cocaine addict living in your basement."
3. "Congratulations on avoiding foreclosure.
4. "It's official, You're a WHORE!"
5. "I heard you were feeling depressed and lonely...want some pie?" ( thanks, tex)
6. "I'm so sorry about your unfortunate haircut."
7. "YAY! you passed your D.U.I. classes ... best of luck on finding insurance!"
8. "Congratulations! The test came back negative!"
9. "Your yard won "Weed of the Month"
10. "You finally got your Liberal Arts degree - would you like fries with that?"

ok, i found some of my happy today....cause these things happened late yesterday - and i get to remember them and giggle today.

* someone i won't say who ( stacey, aka Aunt Tasty, aka #5 ) said "i hate boys, but maybe i can find one tonight to put it in me" THAT my sweet friends sent me over the edge to the not cute wild laugh ... cracked me straight up ....
* Judd commented on my blog. that is like getting a letter from a rock star. i know it might not mean much to you - but to me it's WAY fuckin' cool.
* cocktails.... i love me a cocktail and a drunk-n-dial ... and someone ( not gonna say who, seven ) got some drunk talk - and prolly didn't even know it
*and someone else sent me the new al green cd .... he will get some panty flinging soon -from either myself or a stand in .. so yay to him

*********

so something topical ... anyone? anyone? gimme a topic and i'll form an opinion like "that" ... bring it on

i got nothing.

i'm in a pretty good place- but i have no funny today.
i have some people i'm disappointed in, but not enough to start a blog war talking about it.
i have some things stressing me - but not enough to write a rant or really bitch about it.

i was up last night with an icky tummy - and no one was on-line to talk with.....

stacey and i have been playing phone tag for days, and i'm tired of it - i NEED some stacey time.

i look pretty cute today - but nothing amazing.

work is work - if it was fun they would call it fun, and not work.

so, that's all i got - leave comment ifn' ya want - if not ... that's cool too - whatever.

I still gots nothing - except a big ol' case of the blahs - that i myself am getting sick and tired of. I'm having a hard time finding the happy place. You know when you don't feel like you have anything to look forward to .. i'm totally in that place... work is work,home is ok ... the only thing i look forward to is time with my dog - and that's just plain sad.

i'm tempted to hack all my hair off - cause at least that would be something different ... but i like it longer ... and it's finally getting longer...

i'm just having that day where everyone else is funnier, smarter, happier, than me.

and that sucks.

3 names you go by:
a) Allie
b) #3 - how cool is it to be a number!
c) babygirl

3 screen names you have:
a) cocktailsandsmokes
b) if you need to know you already do
c) (n/a)

3 things you like about yourself:
a) I'm a great friend
b) i will put a stray dog in my car and take it back to it's momma
c) I don't act one way to one person, and another to another - i'm genuine

3 things you dislike about yourself:
a) i still let other people get to me
b) Question myself too much
c) Still care too much what Mom & Dad think

3 parts of your heritage:
a) Irish
b) Scottish
c) English

3 things that scare you:
a) George W.
b) Fox News
c) people that can't admit they just might have been wrong

your everyday essentials:
a) Lotion - i have soft skin issues - must have it at all times
b) music
c) kisses from my dog

3 things you're wearing right now:
a) Onyx earrrings
b) Slut Red nail polish
c) Black high heels

3 of your favorite bands/artists:
a) Barenaked Ladies
b) Lyle Lovett
c) Toad the Wet Sproket

3 of your favorite songs at present:
a) Unfold - Jason Mraz
b) Beyond the Sea - Kevin Spacey
c) I will survive - Gloria Gaynor

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
a) to let it go
b) to get published
c) spiritual retreat in silence

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given) :
a) make me laugh daily
b) able to be both serious and silly
c) someone who gets the 'real' me

2 truths and a lie (in no particular order):
a) i am comfortable in my own skin
b) i am in the wrong career field
c) i am an only child

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
a) dark hair
b) clean strong hands
c) expressive eyes

3 things you just can't do:
a) vote republican
b) drive under the speed limit
c) not giggle everyday - at something - even when things suck - something will be funny to me.

3 of your favorite hobbies:
a) painting
b) making jewelry
c) reading and writing

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
a) be in love
b) have a job where i can bring my dog to work
c) cuddle on the sofa with a cute boy while reading

3 careers you're considering:
a) Spa owner
b) Human Resources
c) Writer

3 places you want to go on vacation:
a) Ireland
b) Scotland
c) France

3 kids names:
a) Katie
b) Lucy
c) Jack

3 things you want to do before you die:
a) Finish living
b) own/and live in a fantastic cabin in the mountains
c) figure out what it's all about- the hokey pokey perhaps

3 people who now have to take this quiz:
a) the #3's
b) #4
c) #5

this has already been a weird week.

i had yesterday off - and had to face the music on some stuff that i've been hiding from - and that my friends sucks.

and then this morning - i'm all cuddled up in the bed - go to turn over and do that eye opening on the turn thing ... and realize - oh fuck. it's light out. it shouldn't be light out at 5:45 ..... and it's not.

but it IS light out at 8:15 - FUCK ME

then i had something else come up that i needed to take care of ... so here we are .... a day off. an unplanned day off - and i think i'll be heading to the office on saturday to do some catch up work .... but hey, i gotta do what i gotta do.

That being said... i was talking with my mom this weekend while she was helping me do some stuff in the house, and i said that i thought it would be the biggest luxury in the world to have a cleaning service. I know lots of people have them, but oh my God. I can't even imagine how great that would be. I really am a big fan of the clean house - and have really strong Martha Stewart tendancies myownself ... i love cooking, and decorating, and some gardening...and all that stuff. I just can't get worked up over cleaning. Now i love the smell of Pine Sol as much as the next girl - and a clean house does put a hitch in my giddieup .. but i don't wanna be the one to do it.

is that wrong?

anyhow, i'm fixin' to go down to the car and dig out some cd's to clean along to. Disco is the preferred music to clean to in this house ...show tunes will do, new wave music of the 80's is always a crowd favorite, as well as moments of really loud really bad heavy metal ... for the big scrubbing items ... but i think it's gonna be a mostly disco morning... and that's not too shabby.

what's your favorite cleaning music - cause we all know i'm gonna steal the songs and ask #3ky to make a cd for me.....

and i had a day off that sorta sucked ass.

and not in the good way either ( shut up )

but the upside is - i got a date for my dog....now, i have no date for ME ... but a SMOKIN' chocolate lab moved in 2 doors down with a fenced in yard .. and i marched my happy ass down there and got mike a date....maybe i should consider pimphood as my 2nd job...

so here's what we've learned over the last several days ...

1.Brad Pitt IS again available .
2.Perhaps it's just me embracing my inner southern-ness - but DAMN rick and bubba are 2 funny mo fo's...


and thridly and perhaps most important ...

THE GODDAMN SURREAL LIFE IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE FUNNIEST THING OUT THERE...(sidebar - i was right - Peter Brady IS the hottest Brady.)

this show - is the best ever --- you have a drunk china doll, and s&m go-go, a rapper no one really knows, peter brady, 2 people i care NOTATALL about ... and a drunk mini-mi.....what's that you say... a drunk mini me ... yes verily i say unto you - a drunk mini me.

drunk
naked
in the scooter
peeing in the corner

now my friends THAT'S almost as good as sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, that's funny stuff - i don't care who you are!

i took today off of work to take care of some personal stuff - and by george ( or BOY george if you prefer, which believe me, i do) i got to watch it all over again. that is one thing i love about some VH1 - they will show the show 9million times ... that and they have Hal Sparks on just about everything - and i have a WAY BIG MAJOR crush on that one .... you know #3 kentucky pointed out to me just how many of the hotties come from kentucky, johnny depp, hal sparks, george clooney, and word has it tom cruise lived there for a while ... i'maneed to do a study on this theory...i've always done well in the corn belt - maybe in the bluegrass belt i'd do well too ....

ok where was i ... oh yes - hal sparks - he's a cutie ... and i like his fill in too ( shut up you "Queer as Folk" watchers ... although i do love me somma that show too ...) i'm digressing ... but i'm known to do that ... ok so this weekend i finally got around to seeing 13 going on 30 ... it is now my new favorite chick movie ever. and i love the actor Paul Ruffalo - for looking so much like Mr. Sparks in it .. so if you can - copy me a dvd of that sucker - also send the dvd player too would ya? i also watched 50 first dates.. i know i'm behind in my movie watching .. but sue me - actually no please don't -just come watch movies with me - how's that?!?

so friday was a tough day. goodbye's are always hard. ( and not the good kind of hard ) {insert canned laugh track here} and it's taking some getting used to .. but as St. Gloria, Patron Saint of Cake says.... I Will Survive - Hey Hey ...

or ... as Adam Sandler and the J. Giles Band have put it.
"I've had the blues the reds and the pinks.... one thing's for sure LOVE STINKS"

except it doesn't.

and that's cool too.

live it, love it, kiss it, spank it.
#3ga (aka Bitchcakes!)

Hey y'all ...

I'm sorta feeling all over the place today - it's all in the good places - but I have lots on my mind...including but not limited to

1. love
2. friends
3. words that cut
4. depression
5. how FUCKING good my hair looks today
6. my parents

ok ok ok... love - so i've said before that i was/am in love with some one completly inappropriate for me ... and we've both been sorta slowly pulling away the band aid for a few months now while trying to decide what to so. i had long heart to heart talk last night with someone that i'm just becoming friends with ( of the male variety ) and i really broke it down barney style ... he listened and understood where i was coming from and played devils advocate with me ... and i think i finally realize that i have to cut it off with 'him' cold turkey. it's going to suck - ( and SO not in the good way kinda suck) but i think it's what has to be done - for my best good as well as his ... he will be someone that i think about daily - but it's the thing to do - so i 'm going to do it. starting right this moment. ( girls, expect weepy calls )

ok, and on to friends. i think, wait i know i've mentioned what amazing friends i have. i don't know what i've done to deserve them, whatever it is, when i figure it out - i'll let you know so you can do it too ... cause goddamn - there's nothing that my friends can't help make better - i was reminded of that last night talking to one of my beloved #3's...... who reminded me of something - she was speaking of herself but it left me gobsmacked - so in my mind - it must be somewhat true of me too - cause it really struck a cord ... and that's when my humor hurts someone. I never intend to hurt someone's feelings with my words. WAIT - that's a lie .... if you're a shellfish loving dentist - i do mean to hurt cause i hate you ... but unless you're that guy - i don't mean my words to be painful. I mean to listen honestly to you...and not try and think of the funny thing i'm going to say to try and "outfunny" you ... if i have done that - please call me on it - i'm really working on being softer and kinder .... that is actually the genuine me - but i've taken the last 34 years building this wall and facade up - it's going to take a while to tear down ...

teeny posted about depression today .... which is ( as we know ) a subject near and dear to my heart, i do deal with that - but i wouldn't call myself a depressed person - not that i really think there's anything wrong with that either. I was personally VERY embarassed when i went on the meds ... then stacey said " if you were a diabetic - you wouldn't be embarassed about taking meds .... you have an illness - it can be helped with the meds ... shut the fuck up and take them" ... ok, so i paraphrased ... but strangely enough my mom said almost the same thing when i finally told her i take the 'zac .... strangely - i consider myself a really genuinely happy person ... so when the funk strikes ... not the i "don't" wanna get out of bed funk .... the i "can't" get out of bed or function on my own ... the real depression, the real crying non stop, the real can't find joy in things that used to make me happy..... it's pretty serious .... but i know it will pass - and 'allison' will re-emerge .... and the villagers rejoiced.

oh, and have i said how good my hair looks today - cause it FUCKIN DOES .... someone's son needs to enjoy it this weekend - if you have any suitors - lemme know .....

and my parents - i'm amazed at them. i underestimated them for about 34 years and didn't even realize it. they're the best ever - i can only hope to be 1/2 the parents to my one day children that they have been to me.

now - i'm off for coffee and grits. but not in the same cup.

live it love it kiss it spank it
allison.


ok - so some bad things and feelings went on this morning .. and my cell phone BLEW UP with friends calling to check on me. i've said it before and i'll say it again - i have NO idea what i've done while on this earth to merit such amazing people in my life - i have friends who have been there for years and years like christine and ... friends who it seems like i've known for ever - like say - "the numbers", friends i know have to have carried over from another lifetime - like mary ... and a new friend who opened his ears for me and listened without judgement ... and i appreciate that - lots more than is realized. everyone's kindness is NOT lost on me.....

short version is, i'm fine - he's fine. we're all fine. and grown ass people.

i think some real actual live healing has begun - and that's some excellent news for today ... so yay me

i love you all, friends old and new.
i really do think 2005 is gonna fuckin' rock!! and as i heard at the office today, if you're gonna rock out, rock out with your cock out!

not in the i feel like cleaning the floor kinda way ... but in the Benedryl hangover kinda way.

but take this ya bitches ... Inky called me last night! did she call you ?? yeah, i didn't think so...so i just went up about 4 more cool notches ...but this is funny - i think she had a bit of a time understanding my accent ... see i had been talking to mary and lauren - and i tend to get a little more "accenty" with those two - for no apparent reason ... so by the time i had taken the benedryl AND talked with the girls - the accent was in full effect - then my south dakota friend called .... poor thing i had to repeat everything twice ..... but it was fun.

so - i'm trying to wake up this morning - it's gray and rainy out - and i made the rookie move of listening to josh groban in the car - which while i love him - is not really "WAKE UP" music - so i'm online looking for a download of 'thunderstruck' cause that should wake my ass up. so take my mistake as your warning .... tired and josh groban are great for tub time or sleeping .... to try and wake your ass up - yeah, not so much.

i've also noticed in my personal relationships with boys - and my friends relationships with boys that they ( the boys ) seem to be on some cosmic level where they are all acting like well.... boys - playing the disinterested game, or the take the girl for granted game ... now i ask in all seriousness for the boys to go to their farmer's almanac equivalent for me ( the penis almanac?) and look up january 2005 and see what the deal is .... is mercury in retrograde ... are the planets not alligned .... what ... cause i'm tired of it ....

i need a boy that's not going to hurt my feelings ... does anyone know where i can find me one of those cause i'm in the market. my qualifications - a 30 something, college graduate, home owner, employed, great cook, 'skilled', independent.....other skills to be discussed at time of interview..

keep an eye out for me will ya .....

I wish a fool would.

Today is not the day. I am going back and forth from rage – for no apparent reason to feeling like I wanna cry – again for no apparent reason.

It is safe to say the ‘hors are moaning today.

And I wish a fool would.

I wish someone WOULD start with me today..cause if they caught me at the angry moment I would so terminate them ala Julia Sugarbaker that their grandchildren would feel the shame. The wrath that I would envoke could provide no safe haven or soft place to fall from the torrent of words I would spew forth.

Cause see, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the martyrs, get off the cross – we need the wood. I’m sick of the people who really should see that they are the pot calling the kettle black, quit bitching about people doing the VERY thing you’re doing,I’m sick of people who can make these really horrible statements and then not have the balls to stand behind them, if you’re going to talk about how the mexican’s are ruining California - then have the balls to be called a racist for making the racist statement.

That being said, I’m also sorta sad today. Johnny #5 is off to train and head overseas to Iraq, and I hate that. He’s not my boyfriend, we’re more buddies than anything else, but he’s been a part of my life for over a year now - and he’s going off to fight and possibly be hurt in this war – and that pisses me off too…. I realize HE signed up for the service HE knew the dangers when he did it HE knew that if a war was going to break out – he’d be a part of it …but still – let’s make this about me shall we – cause hell, it’s my freakin blog – and I can do what I want here – this is the only place is the world that I can do exactly what I want – so I’m going to do it damnit

In other news,
*I was told to do more lists … see above – MY blog
*dave and I decided that if I was in fact a gay man, that I would be his type – and we established that I’d be a bottom … take from that what you will….
*my Cajun boyfriend is flirting with too many other women and I don’t’ wanna have to go all white trash on his ass
*I colored my hair again , and I look hot – just so you know
* the banjo survey is coming along – but I think I’m going to enlist mary for some assistance with it
*everyday that passes is one day closer to christel leaving and I hate that


ok what else … oh yeah. It’s fucking January – why is it hot?? And because it’s hot and people are thinking it’s ok to wear SANDALS – I’maneed to talk about the importance of a well tended foot if you’re going to put it out there to show the world.

Please. PLEASE. I implore you – if you have icky feet…. Don’t wear the sandal. If you can’t afford the 20 bucks for a pedicure and you re-fucking-fuse to do your own feet – don’t wear the sandal. And sidebar – there is more to the pedicure than simply the toes … take from that what you will…

And oh yeah, if you have something to say to me – today is the day – BRING IT ON.

ok kids, if that doesn't make you laugh, I don't wanna know you.

Stacey said that to me last night when we were laughing (duh) and gave me credit for the line ... but it wasn't me who said it - i say it's got Christel written all over it.

so i'm going to be working on a survey to determine how banjo we all are ... cause you know you have a little bit of it in you - even if you don't wanna admit it ....

like
1. ever know anyone who worked in a towel factory?
2. do you like the movie "smokey and the bandit"? ( and we're just talking the first one....)
3. do you know the words to "devil went down to georgia"


i'm working on a whole big ol' mess of questions like this and will hopefully have a survey posted soon ....

anyhow, serious topic - and we know i usually avoid these....but a dear friend of mine brought to someone's attention their blatent racism .... and the woman seems to be denying her hateful stance. I say if you're going to make blanket statements, then you need to be able to stand by them. I don't consider myself a racist on any level - anyone who knows me ( even sorta ) knows that i have THE most diverse group of friends possible ... and i treasure that - and in the immortal words of the great Henry Rollins - "I don't group hate, I hate with style and creativity" .... so here's my list of people I hate ..

1. The New York Yankees ( i know they're a group and what i just said, but i dont' care... i hate them)
2. The New York Mets ( see notes above )
3. Fred Phelps
4. Pat Robertson
5. Fox News
6. Anyone who would CHOOSE to become a dentist.
7. bullies
8. People who think that just because they are loud, they are right
9. People who drive on the shoulder of the road in traffic - like it's their own fuckin' lane or something
10. People who talk in movies
11. People who sing along in the theater
12. People who arrive late to the theater then interrupt you to slide by
13. The insane ass people who fight for clearance items at a sale ... WTF?
14. People who say " you have such a pretty face"
15. the lying bastards that market "chip free" nail polish
16. The garbage man who throws the can back into the yard instead of sitting it in the driveway


ok that's all i have for the moment .... i'm sure i can come up with more and elaborate on what i have listed ..... so yay me.

#3ga.

well not really - but there's a sty in my eye.

which if that does not suck enough on it's own (which we all know it does) it also means that i couldn't wear eyemake up today ..... and me without makeup is like .... well, me without my boobs. I don't mean that in a scary tammy faye bakker kinda way - or a raccoon eyed linsdey/nikki/paris/ashley/mary-kate kinda way ... just in the it's part of what i what i do way.

but hey, things could be worse - i have 2 eyes, and medical insurance, and more makeup for later.

i've been looking around at other blogs lately - and we all know how much i like to steal ideas ... and of my never ending love of the list ... so in tribute to inky ( cause that sounds better than "stolen directly from inky" ) here's the first list of 2005.

drumroll please .............

Most Fun Moments in 2004: (in no particiular order)
5. Dande's ( and crew AND jive ass RV) visit here.
4. Christel's visits here.
3. anytime i got to see my 2 favorite gay boyfriends.
2. Visiting with Mary.
1. Times with Christine and the girls

Best New Friends You Made in 2004:
5. Todd
4. Various work people
3. shannon rose- i mean i knew her before - but feel closer to her now
2. Wendy
1. The Peanut

People You Are Most Thankful For in 2004:
5. My amazing parents - who love me without conditions.
4. Christine - who did a scary ass thing that took real grown up stones to do
3. The numbers - who quite possibly have saved my life.
2. Todd, cause no matter what he thinks, i'm reminded that i'm funnier than he is.
1. My online friends ... who make me think and laugh and be grateful daily

Most Emotionally Straining Moments in 2004:.
5. Money crisis - 'nuff said.
4. Falling in love.
3. the "come to Jesus" with my parents on December 18, 2004
2. Listening to my friend sob on the phone and all i wanted to do was hug her.
1. deciding to start prozac


Biggiest Changes in 2004:
5. GOT A JOB.
4. Got rid of all my credit cards.
3. Getting help for the depression.
2. dating mores.
1. deciding to be me for me - and not me for someone else ( ie - a boy)

Best Songs of the Year:
5. Jason Mraz - CURBSIDE PROPHET
4. Maroon 5 - HARDER TO BREATHE
3. Jammie Cullam - TWENTYSOMETHING
2. Jason Mraz - UNFOLD
1. Al Green - TIRED OF BEING ALONE - i know it's not this year - but it's al green - so shut up

Best Things I Have Discovered:
5. I'm ok, exactly where i am.
4. When you least expect it, Angels disguised as people will appear in your life.
3. That the love from a dog - will momentarily fix just about anything
2. Laughing every single day.
1. My daddy thinks the world of me.

Best Purchases:
5. Did i mention i was out of work for 1/2 the year????
4. 2 words - LIP GLOSS
3. ticket's to the Braves Fan Festival with my dad
2. gas money to go see Chaz, Greg and Christel
1. money spent on long distance calls to friends

Things You Wish You Could Change: (I'm changing this to "things i AM changing")
5. My finances.
4. My romantic situation
3. not spending energy on people who suck.
2. spending more time on my spiritual self
1. figuring out what i want to be when i grow up

Best Movies From This Year :
5. Napolean Dynamite
4. Garden State
3. Shrek 2
2. Bridget Jones Diary
1. Coal Miner's Daughter ( shut up again )

CD's From This Year:
5. Maroon 5's SONGS ABOUT JANE
4. Jason Mraz LIVE AT JAVA JOES
3. Prince - LAUREN'S MIX
2. Jason Mraz WAITING FOR MY ROCKET
1. Big and Rich - HORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR

Things I Want to Do:
5. Get a tattoo.
4. Pierce my ears a few more times
3. Go visit all the numbers.
2. Write a sitcom/novel/screenplay.
1. Go on a spiritual retreat.

Dreams I Want to Turn into Reality:
5. Being paid for creative endeavors.
4. Find "the one".
3. turn my guest room into a meditation room.
2. Live in the mountains.
1. Number's compound.

Concerts That I Want to See:
5. Al Green
4. Jason Mraz.
3. Josh Groban.
2. Maroon 5
1. Tom Jones ( can you imagine - how FUN )

actually i rang in the year early - thanks to a pity party and MUCH liquor and drunken dials....then as my beloved #3sc puts it - took a little night night .... then back up about 11:15 for some more phone calls and watching the big peach drop ( i'm in atlanta remember ) ... then back to the Law & Order SVU marathon ... i know it doesn't sound very exciting - and actually it wasn't - BUT about 3:30 Mike starts barking his head off - and my neighbors are outside toasting the new year ... and *ding dong* they're at my house and we have another cocktail or two - and i send them home..so all in all not awful .. not great ( cause i HATE being alone on New Year's Eve ... but i've had worse nights ....

and still i'm pretty optimistic about 2005 - i think good things are going to happen....and that dear bloggers doesn't suck.

wanna know something that DOES??? my new years present ...a fucking ZIT!!! i'm 34 years old - i'm too old for this crap .... if i am going to have a zit like a teenager - i want the ZERO responsibility of a teenager ... who do i need to talk to about that?

so question...is eating specific things on New Year's Day a southern thing or does everyone do it ... i for some reason HAVE to make either greens or cabbage, black eyed peas, cornbread, and usually some kind of ham product today ... it's supposed to bring good luck and health and love and all that jazz. I'm pretty sure i didn't do it last year - and as we all know - last year was all manner of fucked up - so i'm gonna see if i can't start this one a little bit better .... so far so good - it's almost 70 degrees here - i have all the windows open and i see mike and i taking a walk at the mountain today ... so there are worse ways to spend a day ....

i hope everyone is nursing their headaches and hangovers ... and has good stories to tell....and if i called you drunk ... sorry - unless i was funny - then YAY ME!

live it, love it, kiss it, spank it.
allison.