Don’t you love stories that start that way?

Ok I hate to Edith Bunker this story up, but I have to. Several years ago I met this boy online. I live in Atlanta, he lived in Maryland. I am a Metaphysical Christian whitey whiterson - and he is a Hindu born in India. We talked online for a long time – then on the phone.

Sparks.

Except for one thing – he didn’t know I was big, fat, a BBW, amazing, beautiful…. And I didn’t know he was an asshole… as the story develops we can see how we all live and learn…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

This boy and I really hit it off – visited each other, talked several times a day, wrote sweet letters and e-mails, talked of growing old together…and had great sex.

I was working when we met, he lost his job following the fallout of some 9/11 effects on the travel industry. I helped with his ego in looking for work, and he helped me with my ego by “loving” me.

I really thought this was the one, we discussed how the wedding would be, how we would raise multi-religion kids, how his family would accept whitey, how we would get our dogs to get along…everything.

One day, he asked me to grow old with him. I more than happily agreed.

He was taking MBA classes, returned to work…and started complaining about how fat I was/am. I did many stupid things to try and lose weight to be what he wanted. Smoked, drank, threw up, just to be someone I’m not for him. See I have extra weight on me sure, but he’s fucked in his soul … but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Late in the fall I noticed he was starting to pull back, and I ( was stupid, and young, and scared to lose him ) started pulling tighter, I humbled myself in SO many ways to be what/who he wanted me to be. I started thinking first about what would HE like, not what would I like … I realize this is as much my fault as it was his … I’m not in denial about that.

Then he just stopped. Stopped calling, stopped writing, stopped answering the phone, stopped loving.

Then one day ping you have mail… I had a letter from him one or two weeks before Christmas to tell me he was breaking up with me, because I was fat. I wasn’t what he physically wanted in a mate. He didn’t feel that he could take me out and show me off – cause I didn’t come wrapped in the package he wanted to be seen with.

This killed a small ( or not so small ) part of my soul.

I cried and cried and cried. And felt stupid, and un loveable, and ugly. For a long time. I was convinced that all men felt like he did, I didn’t like or trust men for a long time.

And this was 3 years ago. I had not heard a word from him.

Until yesterday.

I was eating lunch at my desk at work, going thru personal e-mails, and checking blogs ..i wander over to hotmail, and my heart drops to the floor.

I see an e-mail entitled “Hey you”

I know it's been a long time since we've talked, but Iwas wondering if I could call you sometime and catchup? If so, please email me your number. If not,please tell Mike that Ramsey and Tori say "hi, bark,bark, lick, lick."
R

My brain went straight to the WHAT THE FUCK place.

I read it a few times, and responded…out of curiosity – of course you can call … here are my #’s. ( actually my first thought was “holy shit, he’s sick and has to call and tell me)

So a couple of hours later the cell phone rings while I’m at the office – and his first words to me are “what are you eating” …

WHAT?

He says “it sounds like you’re eating something” … I actually pulled the phone away from my ear to look at it – like … can this be real? I have to be on some old ass drug trip – except I’ve never done drugs.

So we’re not 5 minutes into the conversation…surreal as it was, and I asked “how long has it been since we’ve spoke”

and

THIS FUCKER’S ANSWER is “when did you start your diet?” …
I answer, out of shock, and because I’m now in control of me with him … said … at lunch – I start diets everyday.
He then says “ are you still dieting and exercising” I say “I’m GREAT!” and he’s all “really” and I say “I’m fantastic” …

Then it happens.

HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT OUR PREVIOUS SEX LIFE.

How great it was, how I was the best whatever he’s ever had … yadda yadda yadda how no woman has ever done whatever like me. To which I respond. You shoulda stuck with the fat girls.
He then starts ASKING ABOUT MY BOOBS!! … AS IN HOW ARE YOU BOOBS??

. I say, they’re fine, still right up front.

Amazing.

He wants to call later and have phone sex.

YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND.

Boys are stupid.

Throw rocks at them.

At least this boy is stupid.


And here, this will help you sleep less at night – he’s in Homeland Security … Sleep well.