Monday, January 17, 2005
move over hallmark

i admit it..i love greeting cards. I have a stack around the house for all occasions...birthdays, holidays, lovers, mamograms .. i can spend days in card shops laughing out loud and nudging the stranger next to me saying - oh my god read this read this....and i love the quirky little places that have those wonderful funky irreverant cards that you just can't find anywhere else ....

well the other day m*ary' and i were on the phone ( as per usual ) and we started discussing the cards that we simply can't find in stores ... ( and have actually needed in our lives...)

1." I'm so sorry your husband turned out gay."
2. "So, you have a cocaine addict living in your basement."
3. "Congratulations on avoiding foreclosure.
4. "It's official, You're a WHORE!"
5. "I heard you were feeling depressed and lonely...want some pie?" ( thanks, tex)
6. "I'm so sorry about your unfortunate haircut."
7. "YAY! you passed your D.U.I. classes ... best of luck on finding insurance!"
8. "Congratulations! The test came back negative!"
9. "Your yard won "Weed of the Month"
10. "You finally got your Liberal Arts degree - would you like fries with that?"

posted by Allie @ 1/17/2005 02:04:00 AM


At 10:43 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

i like it!!! me and my sis came up with quite a few funny ones as well...though i cant remember any of them! well i bet your wondering who i am...well if you cant guess im at college right now and i am bored...and am being harrased by taymour...yes its as wrong as it sounds.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger M'Ary* said...

Thinking of you, and I wanted to let you know I tested positive for the Clap.
Thanks...for spending so much time out of town so I can sleep around on you.
My deepest sympathy upon untimely demise of your self-respect.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger amy said...

funny! here's to a better week for all of us. inky

At 11:35 AM, Blogger devilboss said...

*I wonder if you realize that your hair looks like a coonskin cap?

*I'm sorry you got stabbed 5 times in the head and neck.

*I'm sorry your aim is so bad when you stab someone 5 times in the head and neck.

At 11:45 AM, Blogger se7en said...

Dear Allison,

lol those are hilarious, especially no. 10 that one rules!!

hehe another killer list, you are too much girrrl =)


At 12:50 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...


At 2:49 PM, Blogger M'Ary* said...

Congratulations on your parole finally being approved.

Sorry to hear that your kid turned out exactly how you raised him/her.

Deepest sympathy on the occasion of your IRS audit.

Happy Being Released on Bail Day.

It's not that you're getting older, it's that I'm so much cuter than you are.

At 2:50 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

And my personal favorite....... Congrats on getting a new prison bitch! :)

At 3:25 PM, Blogger M'Ary* said...

I wonder what gift would be appropriate for a new prison bitch? Probably that gallon pail of lube I saw at the "Toy Store" once. I always wondered why anyone would need a gallon of it.

At 1:47 AM, Blogger Seven said...

Dear Allison!!!

hehe this is for M*ary, the comment i could not leave nor did i have an email address to send to:

grrrr this thing wont remember me!! and now i can't log in cause it says my password is invalid doh!! and whats the use of a password anyway for makin a comment sheesh no furriners on tha front porch here they cain't get past tha gate!

ahem anyways i forgot what uhmm hehe brothel red is onea my fave colors haha and hangin' prepositions was one of my very favorite things to do in english class Hah!

and then i hit the post button and this is what i get:
Invalid entry, please use a different user name to post a comment at this blog. wtf??? it wants me to make up a frikkin name?? omg no. so after futzin' with it for 15 min i gave up! anyways thats some funny shit ya got there.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger MamaChef said...

OMG!!!! *gasping for air* I nearly fell out of my chair! Really!!!


Post a Comment

<< Home

My Photo
Location: Atlanta-ish, Georgia, United States

*Rockstar *Hairbanger *Queen

Previous Posts

Powered by Blogger

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by