i had an excellent idea of something to write about today right before i fell asleep last night.

but did i write it down?

NO.

do i remember it?

NO.

so once again, i'll just be shooting an entry off from the top of my head, sometimes these turn out to be my best ones - othertimes they just fufill my promise to myself to write everyday.

so - you all know i have these amazing friends. seriously i don't know what i've done to deserve these smart, witty, silly, beautiful, talented, amazing, loving, truthful, kind, and ass kicking friends.

i have a special relationship with 4 of my friends ... we refer to ourselves as "the numbers" ( i'm a #3 - duh) and as we say - "we roll 5 deep". these are not friends i get the honor of seeing everyday - or even every week. but they are as close to me as my best friend who lives the next town up, and i'm the godmother of her kids and i see her all the time.

it's an interesting being in a group of 5 that really has no secrets. we know each other, warts and all. and while we're all close, we're close on different levels, and from what i can tell there's no envy or jealousy or feelings of being left out. there's no leader, we're all equally committed to each other, there's no ass kissing to 'belong', it's really amazing.

i ( as is no secret ) had a really shitty 2004 ... but this year is turning out really well. i didn't have a lot of energy to contribute to the group ( or so it felt ) and the others rallied like i can't even tell you - would call just to make me laugh, or listen to me cry, send a card to say i love you, or just to check in every day and let me know they were thinking of me - and wishing me good juju. and all that juju worked .... things are really so very much better now i can't even begin to describe it, i feel stronger than i have in years ... and i'm grateful for all of them my best friend Christine, and my sisters in every sense of the word...stacey, christel, mary,and lauren.

2 of my girls are going thru a really rough patch right now and all i want to do is hug them and tell then that "i'll fix it" ... unfortunately due to distance and the nature of the problems - i can't fix it.

but i can tell you love you, i adore you, each of you in your own way 'saved' me last year ... and now- let the rest of us do that for you.