Friday, April 29, 2005
i double dog dare you

to wake up in the morning to the song "september" by earth, wind, and fire .... and be in a bad mood.

can't be done.

well, i'm sure it can be - but i didn't.

i did however have the "gas light is on ... no cash on hand" .... negotiating with the car the whole way to the office ... "please, baby - just get me to the office - and i'll fill you up at lunch...momma promises ... just get me there" but then since traffic was really light this morning - i got to work quickly - ran to the publix got the obligatory red bull .... got some cash - and was off to search for a gas station in the hood.

i don't know if all of you know this or not - but i work in the hood.


way in the hood - where all the gas is prepay (which i hate) and is more than a little scary.

but i did see a good fight between 2 drunks - one won money in a scratch lottery game ... and didn't share with the other drunk.

good times.

posted by Allie @ 4/29/2005 08:45:00 AM 0 comments
Thursday, April 28, 2005
so good

so this morning - just about the cutest thing EVER happened ......

my dog (mike) sometimes sleeps in the guest room on the day bed so he can look out the window and monitor the activites of the cul-de-sac....and last night was one of those nights .... and this morning he came in to get me after he heard the alarm go off...and this is how ...

he came into my room, licked me in the face - when i just turned away - he came over to the other side - jumped on the bed laid (lay?) down next to me {facing me} put his paw on my shoulder and did the face lick again .... i know in print in sounds gross - but back me up dog people - is that not the cutest.

speaking of cute - i look WAY cute today - and what's even better is i feel cute.

i swear to god - i'm feeling so much better lately - i don't even know how to say it ....... but i'm so damn pleased.

and i really REALLY REALLY need to go to the beach - who wants to go with - i' m serious - we can do this ..... i need some sun, jimmy buffett music, umbrella drinks, and cababa boys - any takers?

i need to make a beach music ( or at least songs that make me think of summer cd ) and we all know that when i say we, i mean i need to make a list and ask lola to do it for me....

so help me think of songs ..

1. 60 minute man - not sure ( the drifter's maybe)
2. Pulling Mussels from a Shell - squeeze
3. Blister in the Sun - violent femmes
4. 2 Pina Coladas - garth
5. No shoes, No shirt, No problem - country dude
6, Here comes the sun - the beatles
7. Life is a highway - that canadian guy
8. Curbside Prophet - mraz
9. 3 little birds - bob marley
10. September - Earth Wind and Fire

help me with more .... maybe i'll send you a copy when i get mine.

loving you

posted by Allie @ 4/28/2005 08:31:00 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
2 quickies...

1. a HUGE thank you to the sexiest mothershutyomouf west of the mississippi tinyhands for helping...well not helping - for fixing the fuck ups on the blog template.

we love him
you should to
he's hot.
we'd all do him, but then he'd pass out and die, and we'd have to tell his momma how he died and we don't wanna make that call - but KNOW that we would each and everyone do you...individually and collectively.

yay you.


2. i'maneed LOTS of reminders that you DO NOT cut your hair when gladys is in town on when you have PMS - i'm tempted to HACK ALL THIS CRAP OFF OF MY HEAD.


posted by Allie @ 4/27/2005 09:45:00 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
patience grasshopper

so i'm obviously jacking around with the template....i have to re-decorate everything every once in a while or i get twitchy....
so please be patient while i learn how to do this - and continue to beg for assistance from others for when i screw it up...and also please know that i still have that dead sexy blog template that seven did....and probably sooner than later will put it back up here.

thanks kids
loving you

posted by Allie @ 4/26/2005 10:26:00 PM 0 comments
Monday, April 25, 2005
strap in...

no, no strap ON you freaks ( and i love you for it ) ... but this is going to be a classic lunch time mountain dew infused blog entry.

so... while some things are still really stressful...i'm still really REALLY good.

i don't know what happened, i'm working very consciously in living in the moment, ( how very zen of me) i have "believed" that for a long time - but recently i made a decision that it would be my truth. i'm really deciding to be happy - and it's working for me - yay me.

did i tell y'all about shopping with christel? well i did - one night last week we were online chatting - and decided that we both NEEDED new lipgloss - got in our respective cars, went to our respective wal-greens, and shopped together on the phone - we MIGHT could ( yes, might could) be bigger dorks - but i'm not really seeing how.( matching razors, foot lotion, and i do believe lipgloss thanks for asking )

the weekend was pretty good...thank god - i needed some good and some downtime ... last night was funny though - i ordered pizza for dinner - and guess who delievered it .... that's right the pizza boy - was funny, i had just showered, wet hair, no makeup, and a real live boy shows up at the house ...... and what's funnier, wanted some 'action' ..... dude, i ordered p-i-z-z-a NOT p-e-n-i-s.

( that's funny - i dont' care who you are! )

ohohoh- and #4 and i had an enitre conversation about shampoo and conditioner. we could not BE more girly .... we could be fatter girls - but not more girly.

i'maneed the charlotte boys to come back down here and see me - or i need to go back up there - i can't get enough time with them....

and i can see a trip to texas sometime this year - i'm missing my #3 BIG TIME .... and her cute ass husband ( who is cute, and also has a cute ass,...but that's not really my point)

not that i really have a point .....

oh but one more point of interest - i got an email from the "handsy/swinger" boy.

why me lord?

posted by Allie @ 4/25/2005 01:12:00 PM 0 comments
Friday, April 22, 2005
lunch menu

teddy grahams and mountain dew.

i'm thinking that's not the best idea - although this hasn't been a stellar day...

but it's friday, and payday, and i have beer at the house .... and if i were a betting man ( which except for the man part - i am ) a burger of some form will be consumed tonight.

wanna know something ... last weekend i was having shoe and "fellowship" festival with peanut.... and this weekend - i'm having a financial summit with the folks... and doing yard work - including spraying the tree out front with some chemical that will kill the tent caterpillars .. .and hopefully NOT kill me and the dog.

so i'ma need some fun ... i see some girly time for me happening - cause lately when the stress strikes, girly stuff, girly movie ( paul ruffalo anyone?), and the pupper seem to be the prescription .... i'm also going to be working on ye old resume' cause ... well i can, and probably should ...

anyone hiring?

i might be easy - but i'm not cheap ....

i am willing to move though......


but ... today is 1/2 way over - i'll be home in 5 hours ... and have a weekend to do what i want to .

yay me.

posted by Allie @ 4/22/2005 01:00:00 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 21, 2005

It’s a good day here in allieworld.

i woke up on time … the dog was cute as possible … look cute … lightish traffic ( considering where I live ) stopped and picked up 2 red bulls – got flirted with from the Quick Trip boys … and found a cd of early 2000 pop music I made a while ago – and just car danced and sang my way to work.

And so far work is good.

I’m good.

I’m not sure what happened, but I feel my switch has been flipped….

See that girl right there, the one who’s shining, the one who has energy for other people, the one who’s giggling, the one who loves people and lets people love her back ….


She’s back.

And I’m thrilled.

The angry allie is sleeping .. the happy twin is out there …. And I’m most pleased with it.

This is something Stacey gave me and I have it hanging in the cube farm at work … it so worked for me … which number needs it next – I’ll ship it to you --- I promise – I’ll actually take my ass to the post office and ship it ….

It’s a framed quote ( in PINK no less ) that states:

This is a recording:
You are living inside the
story you created.
If you wish to turn this
alarm off, you must take a
GIANT step outside that
story. Once you are
outside, this recording will
automatically shut off.
Thank you and have a
beautiful day.

I turned that alarm off - no snooze – OFF
And I’m
And happy about it.

posted by Allie @ 4/21/2005 12:20:00 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
thank GOD for tomorrows

yesterday was a big pile of old man ass and cabbage.

that is to say - it stunk.

but miracle of miracles, i went to sleep, got up took a shower and started over again.

i love that chance.

the starting over again.....i'm working on seeing the possibilities of that in everything.

i have a dear friend who's starting some things over again .... i have another friend at work who is just beginning a battle with cancer.

me, i spent yesterday bitching cause i had the sniffles. it's time for allie to fill her cup up with shut the fuck up.

and i did.

i changed the attitude and started today over. and you know what - it's a WAY ass better day than yesterday - eventhough NOTHING has changed .... except my shift in thinking.

so today at lunch - instead of working thru it at my desk then being pissy about it ... i left the building, got a sammich, and went to the park.

ducks in the middle of the afternoon will put a spring in a girls step....

young YOUNG co-eds ( and from the looks of it - some of their daddies too) shirtless in the sun is also a good thing.

so - today i'm asking this of y'alll - gimme 3 things your happy about today

here are mine

1. i really like me
2. i have a job
3. i have family, friends, and a dog that adores me.

your turn.

"here comes the sun, and i say it's alright"

posted by Allie @ 4/20/2005 01:39:00 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 19, 2005

i still have allergies.
i still have a headache.
i still had a great weekend.
i'm still glad the peanut is my friend.
i'm still glad i have the numbers.
i'm still here.

really busy, but here.

posted by Allie @ 4/19/2005 03:14:00 PM 0 comments
Sunday, April 17, 2005
super fun.


That’s my word for the day.

I have a really cool and fun and sexy and smart and groovy friend.

And I got to spend the weekend with him.

He makes me feel sexy and cool and fun and sexy and groovy and smart.

And we like that.

And I got 6 new pairs of shoes.

Top that.

You can’t.

I win.

Yay peanut. Safe flight home, see you next year.

posted by Allie @ 4/17/2005 02:45:00 PM 0 comments
Friday, April 15, 2005
Pollen 1 Allison 0

fuck me.

this is why i hate spring.

i can't breathe.

i haven't slept thru the night all week ... and i need my strength for the ROCK STAR SEX that i'm having all weekend.

work is insane today- and i wish i could blog about it - but i can't and i don't so i won't.



but afterwork - i'm going home, showering (again) , getting cute, dropping off the dog ... and on to rock star sex weekend 2005. the weekend 2004 was pretty frekin' good ... so

yay me.

pollen or not -i will be cute. and sex will be had.

posted by Allie @ 4/15/2005 01:09:00 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 14, 2005


ok - so sometimes these jokes are just for me... but today - i got in the car and saw sitting in the passenger seat 1/2 a bag of peanuts dad and i had gotten at the game last week ( does this tell you anything about the condition of my car ) and BUSTED out laughing, because my friend the 'peanut' flies into town today .... loved it.

and fyi - red bull seems to have a much more hyper effect on me than the rock star drinks - i think i JUST became a full on red bull fan

i should get to wear jeans to work everyday - it puts me in a way ass good mood.

i have discovered these 'sex' candles - that are made of soy and when they melt - they turn into a massage oil .... i bet stacey could so get you off on these ... one time for me and one time for nigh nigh

listening to kid rock's "cocky" while drinking red bull on the way to work earns you about 17 white trash points

that's all i got for now - i'm sure they'll be updating as the day goes along.

*** like now

i just remembered that yesterday i met up with a friend of mine from my last job and we went to the "adult toy" store at lunch ... and i noticed - everyone looking at "toys" of all varieties were women ... all men were looking at movies to rent or buy .... which i found strange .... doing vs. watching.

posted by Allie @ 4/14/2005 09:01:00 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
feeling like doing a meme

only there's not one floating out there that i feel like doing ... i could do another one of those 100 things about me....but really what's to know that y'all don't already know .. and do i feel like being all manner of introspective today?? i believe the answer to that is a big fat juicy NO.

i feel like making out all day long to be perfectly serious with you ... and when am i not serious?!?!

but as i can't think of what to say this morning - ( can you tell the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet ) ... here we go with another list o' allie ... we'll see how long this one turns out.

1. my delta tau chi name at the office is "white chocolate"
2. i get updates from the record company and VH1 about Jason Mraz
3. i have never gone to a concert by myself
4. i've only gone to a restaurant once by myself
5. i LOVE going to movies alone
6. i could go back to sleep RIGHT NOW
7. i'm missing a couple of friends so much right now my body aches
8. i'm so worried about another one .. again with the ache
9. i love 'real' amber - but hate the processed smell of it
10. i think i'm going to get a 2nd dog.
11. i'm scared to death to take that leap and follow my dream
12. i kinda wanna get those invisible braces
13. i have a friend coming to town tomorrow that i've waited a whole year to see again
14.i have seen everyone of the numbers boobs
15. i think pretty much all of them are cooler than me
16. i KNOW christel has better boobs
17. i HATE the sound of a phone ringing at work
18. i have learned how to laugh it off and get over it
19. i bought 2 more nail polishes last night ... like i NEED tht
20. i shave my legs everyday
21. i have one beer everyday after work
22. my birthday is june 2
23. 4 word - Jay at the desk
24. i wear make up everyday to work - but don't wear it most weekends
25. i collect basball caps .. love the baseball cap - ponytail sticking out look
26. i'm sleepy this morning.

posted by Allie @ 4/13/2005 08:17:00 AM 0 comments
Monday, April 11, 2005
ah, springtime in georgia

the roads are yellow, the cars are yellow, and if you're outside for longer than 30 seconds, you'll be yellow too.

that bastard pollen is out.

and i am awake at 4:30am to talk about it. WHY you ask?

cause that little bastard pollen HATES sleep. it does all that it can to make sure that you don't. this includes but is not limited to...

*watery eyes
*sneezing ALL the time
*stuffy nose

and my friends, for some reason this year ... the makers of claritin have decided that their usually wondermus product will no longer work for this here i am 4:30 on a monday morning ... awake (but tired mind you) for about an hour ... knowing that the alarm goes off in one more hour and that i MUST be in the shower by 6.

i smell a good day don't you ....

anyway ... friday night was opening night at the ted for MY atlanta braves. and we barely made it there - i swannee - traffic was OUT of control and they changed up the parking situation and there were NO spots to be had - it took us about an hour and fifteen to get to the stadium ( which is about 3 miles from my office ) and another hour to look for somewhere to park - before calling a friend of mine who lives downtown and telling him we were going to park in his driveway and walk the way to the stadium ... maybe 9 blocks or so ...

anyway - so we get there - and i make a mad dash for the beer ... people, i've been in the car with daddy for 2+ is required. Lemme tell you a little something, if you go to a braves game and you want "a" beer - i say "a" to indicate that it's ONE beer... it will cost you SIX DOLLARS AND TWENTY FIVE CENTS. yup you read that right .... and if you're saying "you must be fucking crazy to spend that kinda money one ONE beer - verily i say unto you.....2 hours in the car + dad who's getting cranky= no price too high for the beer.

so we get inside the ted - and damn - that's a cool ass place - it's really great - there were fireworks, and fighter jet flyovers, and WE WON. top that - you can't.. don't try.

saturday - i did use all the approprite products and my house is CLEAN ( praise jesus - or mr. clean, whichever) which is always a good thing ... saw the folks for a quick quick visit - ( again praise him ) ... and sunday i did church ala tv. that is not a bad idea, lemme set the scene .... english muffin & coffee to snack on, crawled back in the bed with the dog, watched some guy on tv preach that was actually interesting, then during the commericals watched the food channel and movies on TNT - not too shabby huh??

and did i mention that it's spring?! so it's time to break out the spring pedicure colors ... now i'm not one of those women who just have cute feet in the summer - i have cute feet ALL the time ( it's one of the HUNDREDS of issues that makes me... well, me) but i did a trek to the beauty supply store - got some new polishes ( yes i said some - cause ... if you've known me for more than 30 seconds - or ever been to my house and have seen for yourself what's in the drawer in the coffee table { not THAT you perverts, that stuff is in the bottom drawer of my bureau in my room} you know that i had an AMAZING collection of nail polishes ... and the difference between mango, mangolishious, and hot mango polishes is subtle but very important to someone like me....

ok - i MUST try to sleep for an hour or so ....thank dog i went ahead and got some ROCK STAR energy drinks at publix this weekend - cause i'maneed them ....

( christel, did you know that ants don't like cinnamon?)

posted by Allie @ 4/11/2005 04:28:00 AM 0 comments
Friday, April 08, 2005
yay it's working...


the land of the free, and the home of the BRAVES
That’s right people – at seven something tonight I’ll be where every girl loves to be … with a beer in one hand and a mustard covered wiener in the other ……

Or something like that ….

I am in SUCH a good fuckin’ mood today – the funk of earlier this week is gone .. I figured out some stuff that has been really bothering me…and it’s all cake. I thought some thing was broken that couldn't be fixed - then i realized it wasn't mine. Not only not mine to fic, but really not mine ..... ( insert the "freedom" refrain from rere franklin's "think" here) It’s a beautiful spring day here in Atlanta. The Braves home opener is tonight – daddy and I are going, and all is right with my world. So this is a good thing … I’m such a dork about this game ( oh shut up, I realize I’m a dork about a million things – but we’re talking baseball here ) for someone who is so NOT sporty and really not that outdoorsy ( I know you’re all saying “really allie, you?!?!” I know ) I love that game – I’ve been known to go to high school games and old timer games .. it’s just plain fun to watch …. I played when I was a kid … but now – allie don’t do running….but going to games with daddy has always been so special – it’s one of the very few things that just the two of us do together … so this is special and I dig it.

I need to call greg and ask him what kinda mickey he slipped me … cause lately I can’t clean ENOUGH. And as christel and I were discussing, the products are so very important. I am such a sucker for the advertising … so the bubbles will come to “life” and scrub everything so I don’t have to ?!?! SIGN ME UP I am so into the damn products – like that’s ½ the battle .. once I get the products out, and the music cranked .. the battle is on.. and i have the ability to win the war- as long as the proper supplies are used ... i am really a stickler for that - and it cracks me up ... do NOT use kitchen cleaning products anywhere but the want windex - fine, have one in the kitchen, and one in each bathroom .... but never the two should meet ...ah, ( can you imagine WITHOUT the prozac) but whatever, but i do want the floors to "shine like the top of the Chrysler building" ( snail mail presents to whoever can tell me where that line came from) and by tomorrow afternoon i want to declare with hands on hips and the smell of pine– sol in the air " this house is clean" but actually, I mean really, I think it should be a self cleaning house. I spend all the money on the mortgage AND I provide cleaning supplies .. can’t it then clean itself – or can’t I get some hot guy to do it where I can just sit on the sofa and (ahem) supervise.


I mean really – I vaccumed, swiffered, and mopped the kitchen floor last night, and about 20 minutes later I went in there to rinse out the mop … looked down … BLAM – black dog hair … maybe having a black dog and an all white kitchen was NOT the greatest idea…but that ship has sailed ….

does anyone remember the crowded house song "fingers of love"? i was told last night that i liberally sprinkle all my friends with love .... and everyone loves sprinkles ....

so i have sprinkles of love for all y'all.

posted by Allie @ 4/08/2005 12:20:00 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 07, 2005
again with the nothing

Ok – so it’s Thursday and I’m at the office … listening to Maroon 5 and trying to find my happy place - but that music is so sexy to me that instead of finding my happy place - i'm finding another one that starts with h and ends with y.

I was bitching last night to a friend about being depressed and he said I wasn’t depressed .. for a split second I got irritated and said “then what am I” and his response was “Sparkly”

Is that not the best answer possible?

I was the 14 year old on the phone last night, which is always good, I have a rockin’ support network of friends….i met one last night that i haven't seen in a while ...we've known each other since college days he's my O.G.B. ( original gay boyfriend) and we had a pitcher of margaritas and nachos ( which is a close second to my favorite combination of nachos AND BEER ) and it was good to do come catching up – and MY GOD is he a pretty man. It’s bad when you look at yourself and you’re like “hey, not to bad miss girl, looking pretty good” then you see him and you’re all “I got nothing”

So here’s something – is it weird that I’m so excited for Judd – that it’s like I’m meeting my own love for the first time? I really hope it works our for him…to quote the Dixie Chicks … as I am known to do “I believe in love” and I hope hope hope he’s found it. I hope for all of us to find it - but this one, he’s a good egg.

I’m up to my ass parts busy at work – but that’s ok – it’s why they pay me … and tomorrow I’m going to the Braves game with daddy – and that my friends doesn’t suck either.

One of these days I’m going to be topical again – I just know it – sometime it will happen!

posted by Allie @ 4/07/2005 10:04:00 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
better days

today seems a wee bit better ... but i'm swamped at work... writing this on my lunch break ... but i think i'll have an actual real post from home tonight.


Ok so I’m gonna write at lunch after all.

Last night was bad. Big ugly cry bad. I talked to #3tx last night and cried …then she put her hubby on the phone, I talked to him for a few and he said “it’s all gonna be so ok, (and then in the sweet baby voice) I love you” so needless to say ( so I’m going to say it ) when christel got back on the phone I was in the WEEPY bad place. … so I did what any normal red blooded American girl does – I went and bought some makeup, and BEER. Then I talked to Stacey later and cried more. I’m just tired of being lonely.

And while I was talking to Stacey – she said the right thing ( like she always does ) that she was working on being “her” all the time. And I had this wonderful/terrible/scary ‘aha’ moment. I don’t know if I really recognize the real Allison anymore. I’ve spent so much time trying to be what other’s wanted me to be. What does the real me look like anymore…would I recognize her, would I like her…would anyone like her.

This is me: scared, lonely, strong, fragile, angry, silly, lover, hater, insecure, disappointed … but also happy, light, free, calm, truth.

I know some people are all “this is just who I am, fuck ‘em if they don’t like it “ – I tend to think that that is some bullshit behavior that covers the same fears we all have … but what if you’ve worked so hard to create your mask …. That even you’re not sure what the real is …. If you like it …. Or if others will…

I’m a scared girl today.

posted by Allie @ 4/06/2005 12:28:00 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
not knowin.

I’m feeling some need for changes. Lots of them. And this is a good thing. I’m thinking about changing the name of my blog again ( well, actually –it seems I already have ) and I’m not sure that’s what it’s going to stay as. I’m thinking the actual address will stay the same – but upon reflection it seems the title doesn’t fit me too well
I don’t smoke
as much as I love the cocktail – I don’t have near enough and prolly not enough to warrant my blog being titled after.

So I overslept this morning…but still managed to stop by quick trip to pick up a RockStar energy drink ( shaking fist at sky – damn you christel, damn you) and yes I’m still cute – a little buzzed, but cute…

Sanyways, I got a kickin case of the lonelies last night. Does that happen to everyone? Is it mostly a girl thing? Just wondering.

I had a dreamless night last night – in fact when my alarm on my cell phone went off this morning – I thought for SURE it was just someone calling – and guessed that it was about midnight or so … ( since I was expecting a call around 11:30 ) but damn … it was time to get up. But I couldn’t … just couldn’t. which really isn’t so much like me – I’m generally a decent waker upper …. Not today so much …. ( good god this is boring )

So I need a topic – someone gimme something.

posted by Allie @ 4/05/2005 08:45:00 AM 0 comments
Monday, April 04, 2005

I’m feeling wordy today – and I may or may not post this when I finish writing. I can already tell this will have no proofreading for grammar or for content so consider yourself forwarned.

I have someone I want to talk to so much my head hurts. I have another someone I’m so excited about kissing I can’t wait for this next week or so to pass. I have someone I would so love to be “real” friends with it’s almost silly.

I have someone that has some of the same quirks and fears as me. And I think that while we’re already friends … this would be SUCH a great person to just sit and watch television with. Like a gay boyfriend, but not gay. Only time and space keep us from being the “real world” friends I know we could be … and that part makes me sad. I know he used to feel the same way – and I’m hoping he still does, cause we need to work on that part of us…cause it’s amazing to have a man’s opinion on things – that has no interest in the pink parts..

I’ve been thinking a lot about love and commitment lately. For so long I felt ( or just assumed ) that I wasn’t worthy of romantic love … and settled for whatever was around. Then in one of those moments where you’re by yourself and in the quiet and are listening to what’s out there – I realized that I have the most amazing friends in the world. I’m worthy of that, why wouldn’t I be worthy of the romantic love too. I’m not afraid to risk putting myself out there for friends … and friends have hurt or disappointed me more than a lover EVER could … and I was shy about the man stuff. I’m still trying to figure out that one. I’m the queen of the crush, I get crushes daily … but when I think of real love. Love that the joy of made me happier than I ever dreamed and the sorrow of tehe loss of it was almost more than I could take has happened only once….and about this time last year – I was sure that somehow we would work out and I would be with him forever, no matter who it hurt or what happened. I now realize that of course that won’t happen… but the feelings are still there, I still have that place in my heart where he lives… I still have the fantasy of him showing up at my door…I don’t know what I’d do if that happened … but I think about it.

This thought disappoints people I know. I ‘ve spent hours on the phone with friends crying, sorrowful, angry, and lost talking about this man. I have male friends and female friends who have been proud of me for letting the dream of him go. … but lately I keep thinking about him. And if my vibe is right – he’s thinking about me too.

When does that stop? Do I want it to stop?

The answers to that are I don’t know, and I don’t know.

I do know that I believe in love. I do know that I believe I’m worthy of being loved back, and I’m working on believing that will happen.

Until then, I’m gonna continue to work on making me stronger and my friendships stronger.

I have a feeling I’ll be adding to this…but I hope my friends know I love them, and I hope that the ltt knows I mean him too.

posted by Allie @ 4/04/2005 12:34:00 PM 0 comments

Ya know that day when you’re just plain happy?

This is my day.

I had a great weekend with some great friends. I swear to god, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve them, but verily I say unto you – watch me, do what I do, and get you somma these friends. Cause they’re good people. If I could figure out how to post a pic – I’d show you all of our smiling faces .. but I can’t – so there – but if you’re really interested – email me – I’ll send you the pics..

( this is the super short version of the weekend )

So Friday – I slept in … dropped mike off at the babysitters – ( and in my never ending quest to be like christel ) stopped and got me a ROCK STAR energy drink .. and now – I’m of course addicted to them ( the red bull that one of the numbers left … but that’s another story for another day ) … anyhow – it’s raining and icky – but I’m on my way out of town and have the music blaring… and I’m “on the road again”

I get to charlotte … visit the boys for a while – head to TARGET … cause I just KNOW there’s something there that I need…and of course there was ….. then to bed bath and beyond – cause … well, do you need a reason to go to b3 … not really …. AND THEN IT HAPPENED ..

It was mentioned that someone had come across Tammy Faye Bakker Messner’s home address and phone number … can you said “drive by” ? I knew that you could!!! ( and I have pictures of that too )

Then home to refresh – and head to GAY BINGO …. And it was disco night – we were all singing our assess off .. and greg said to me once while I was lip snyching with him that I would “make a great drag queen” and my response was ( naturally ) I sorta already am! … after bingo – to this dive diner for some foodage .. and home for more giggles..

Saturday am – I awoke to the smell of bacon. Top that. You just plain can’t. 2 cute boys makin’ me breakfast – god is good, all the time.

I went and got new glasses and contacts ( if you’re picking out new glasses – do it with 5 gay men, it’s a hoot)… we went to the farmer’s market, a little shopping, a shiner run, the drive by tammy faye’s house … and back home to prepare for a dinner party ..

And when I say prepare – I really just mean me watching the guys cook – again, top that.

There were 8 of us at dinner – laughing our major parts off … then we watched Sorrid Lives …. Get ye to the netflix and watch this one - it’s funny – and if you’re southern, it’s gonna strike a little too close to home in some parts .. but still….

Anyhow, I had a great weekend. All thanks and love to the boys.
This is again, the face of a happy girl.

and so so so so much luck and love to judd - i hope all your dreams come true this week.

posted by Allie @ 4/04/2005 09:41:00 AM 0 comments
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Location: Atlanta-ish, Georgia, United States

*Rockstar *Hairbanger *Queen

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