Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I did it 3 times this morning!
I did it 3 times this morning!Ok, you pervs. It wasn’t hot rockstar sex ( although damn I wish it was, but the discussion about the dry white season will have to be for another day … although just last night I did promise someone…and I’m SO gonna deliver the HELL out of that promise one day …he has NO ideas of the level of skill I have) ok I’m digressing.I am a snooze alarm hitter. I am one of those ridiculous people who can’t get up when the alarm goes off the first time. I’ve tried all manner of things – alarms on the other side of the room, an alarm that turns a light on, music I hate, talk radio. Music I love … and I’ve evidently made a decision in my brain that I don’t have to get up when the alarm goes off the first time …so it goes off at 5:30 … and my ample ass doesn’t get up until 6:00 ….This would be fine – cause I don’t leave for work until 7:15 …which is p-lenty of time for me to get ready, take mike for a walk, yadda yadda …. Except I have a friend who lives in Tokyo, and he’s 13 hours ahead of me and we chat in the mornings … so this leads to running late ….Yeah, daily. I tend to give nicknames to all my friends, and I call him “peanut”, and here’s why….So for years mom and I have this running joke …when we see a middle aged guy in some sorta of testosterone machine – we look at each other, and say “ sorry about your penis”. Now this never fails to make us laugh. So, my friend Christine and I say it too, and evidently her ( at the time ) 3 year old daughter has heard this pretty often too. One day we’re all out riding around in the car and we see that guy. Christine and I say “ sorry about your ….and leave the last word off” then this voice from the backseat yells out PEANUT! ( I had to pull the car over I was laughing so hard ) ….so anyway, my friend in Japan is a professional athlete and all macho and what not – and drives one of those cars that he’s lovingly called “black death” so yea, he’s pretty much peanut now…what’s even better is that he’s finally succumbed to the fact that I’m gonna call him that ( and better still, he even likes it now)Ok I’m rambling – where was i? oh yeah, snooze alarms. Anyone got any ideas. I’m taking suggestions ….

Monday, August 30, 2004
mmmmmmmmmmmmm monday.
Good Morning my People.So my rock star self is at the office – working with the great unwashed. Aren’t I a sweetie. And I have made a decision, I have decided that “Forlorn Texan” is my new online boyfriend. He doesn’t know this – and I don’t know that he needs to … but let’s look at the facts … I call like EVERYONE “tex”…was born in Texas, and the Rock Star and Joey Fatone are moving back there soon –it just seems to make sense.So did I say I had fun this weekend? Cause I did! And have I mentioned my new crush –one Mr. Jon Secada….there’s nothing like a couple of hours watching a man without his shirt on sing that puts a spring in a gal’s step….oh and he came out at the end ( well he didn’t “come out” …. But I digress) and sand “close every door” in Spanish. My goddaughter looked at me and said “he’s really pretty” – that’s a smart kid right there….and the other goddaughter couldn’t GET enough of me yesterday – when she saw me in the theater she said “ HOORAY, IT’S ALLISON” I mean come on people, does it get better than that?!?! And she and I were talking during intermission where she learned one of my favorite bits of theater advice “ the overture is part of the show, shut your hole” … but again with the digression...So I’m listening to hootie this morning – which isn’t necessarily rock star music – but it makes me happy … and it’s a long weekend weekend …the coffee was ready when I got to the office –so all in all it could have been so much worseSo leave me a comment and show me some love!

Sunday, August 29, 2004
how much fun can one girl have with a broken heart?
Really a whole bunch lot.warning - this mofo is FULL of typos ... jimmy crack corn -and i don't care! Allie had a real good weekend. ( yes, I am referring to myself in the 3rd person …. That’s the name of the blog. DUH )Anyhow. Find the legal limit of fun and go about 3 miles past that….and that’s not even close to where I was this weekend …. So Friday night .. a cute rockstar shows up at my house … with her rock star self. Do you know anyone who is so cool that when you’re around them, you don’t GAIN cool points you lose them cause you look and see just how cool you’re NOT. Yeah. I was that girl. I remember when I used to not look like someone’s mother and a senator’s wife. I used to be the wild one with the pink hair and 7 earrings and cool stuff like that ….anyhow – more on that later. but my friend? yes, she's that fucking cool. I wanna be her when i grow up .... So the rock star gets here and we IMMEDIATELY ( do not pass go, do not collect $200.00 ) head for Mexican food and beer. .. and I mean a big beer – one of those 32 ouncers … actually I mean 2 of them. And spinach dip … queso with spinach ( bilingual don’t cha know ) so we’re beering it up listening to this table of old people …. Like they have their boarding pass for heaven and are just waiting for their numbers to be called … and one mentions something about TMI … now. People on the on deck circle for behulah land … really? Are the acronyms necessary?…and and and wait it gets better. They brought their own bags of low carb chips. I myself wanted to kill them with my very own hands…or at least punch them in the head. But I didn’t since they’re old and I’m southern, and we’re trained to NOT do things like that – no matter how much I might have wanted to – and I wanted too a really whole lot. So then a bad thing happens. Some guy with a guitar shows up … now if any of you who read this ( both of you ) who happen to be guys with guitars. Lemme let you in on 2 secrets. At a Mexican restaurant. We want Spanish music. And c. The 70’s are over. Let the sorry covers of any and all Steve Miller, Bad Company, Neil Diamond, Cat Stevens, Jimmy Buffett, James Taylor and or Van Morrison go. Espically the Van Morrison. If you’re NOT him. Don’t sing it. You’ll only hurt our feelings.Ok, did I mention we were loaded. And what happens when you’re loaded and your friends are driving you to a VILLAGE PEOPLE concert?! Yes..that’s right. The drunk and dial. If I had your phone number….you got a call. If you’re the boss, you got sung to … if you’re dave…you got the village people singing to you…if you’re Lauren, you got a random man talking to you that I told you would put out for a had HUGE breasts if you would only get on a plane and come down here.. oh yea, I think I promised your husband some hot sweet allie loving if he put you on a plane. And don’t think I wouldn’t do it – cause I would…so where was I ..Oh yes, The Village People. Or as I like to refer to them. The Village PERSON. Yes that’s right the village PERSON. The Indian is still kickin it … except he’s not a native American, he’s Puerto Rican ..but I can live with that too. Anyhow, rock star and I were the only people under 70 at this concert … BUT BUT BUT they let you bring in beer – so who cares really.. cause after beer oh say 15 …who cares about anything anymore …. So the concert starts and we stand up to dance… where a cranky old man who has never gotten to put his penis anywhere NEAR a woman tells us “ you make a better door than a window” ( wha?? Was that a fat joke or a really sorry way to say we as an audience have decided to sit for the FUCKING DISCO show – cause we are losers and all deserve to never have fun again. ) ANYWAY… so we did the chair dance thing … and I think he ( again, we’re gonna call him toby ) never had any fun and prolly didn’t that night either…everyone finally agreed to stand during YMCA .. so at least we got to do the official YMCA dance … and that’s gotta be good enough on some level…..So then…yes, more drunken dialing … so I called #3 kentucky and the grandmonster answered the phone .. and when I said “is Lauren there” and she said “no they’re at dinner” … I said “ um… that’s SO the wrong answer, and hung up” … yea. I think it was then that the rock star wet herself laughing just a little bit. Ok – back home.. more calling – then passing ou…er…sleeping.So Saturday … full day of big fun action.. many more beers, shopping, cool ass coffee shop in va highlands …. Then many more beers at little 5 points …. Then …class begun back at my house … KNITTING class….i taught RS to put the thread on the sticks and knit, knit, knit. Cause I’m cool and a giver like that.Then the hair dye adventure began. I have rock star hair now. It was supposed to be purple – but the purple really didn’t work out too well, so we put this cool red over it…and it’s sorta pinky reddy …. So it’s official I rock it rock star style again … at least one patch in the back of my head does – it’s really pretty cool ….ok skipping many things – to Sunday - I just got back from seeing “joseph and the amazing techacolor dreamcoat” and DAMN, I’ve seen that show lots of times. But that was the best. And I have a new object of lust. Jon secada. Shirtless. Singing. Case closed.I need more beer.

Friday, August 27, 2004
i'm all over the place this morning.


Why are staff meetings on Fridays?And b. I think I’m covering about 15 topics in this entry.There are perhaps many days when I don’t feel like going to a meeting. Like everyday. I have to admit, I’m one of those “send me an email” people when it comes to meetings. Now if there’s a cute boy to flirt with, or someone funny to sit with, that’s one thing. But believe me, here at the office. There’s neither.So there’s some silly ass meeting this morning, where we’re talking about the changes going on at the agency. And when I say talking about changes, what I mean is that someone will read us a memo. Ok, I’ve been to college, I actually even finished college – and I can read. Send me an email.End rant.On the other hand, I can NOT say enough about how much I love the one rate long distance plan. I LOVE LOVE LOVE yakking on the phone, I’m in a phase where I’m like a 13 year old again, I can’t get enough phone time…so shoot me yo’ number and I’ll give ya a holla…..and this weekend with #3 coming to town, I can guarantee that some of the calls will be of the drunk variety…which can be fun in and of themselves.HRT was talking about traffic on his diary and posted some link that talked about the worst traffic in the county, my state is on that list. I have a feeling it’s really just the metro Atlanta area and not the whole state of Georgia – cause hey, I’ve driven around the state and …. It’s a breeze …. Atlanta? Well, that’s another issue. I’ve lived in the same town since I was 9 years old ( and I’m 34 for those of you playing along at home ) so it’s safe to say I know every possible back road ( I also know where the excellent make out spots are…complete with beautiful views of the city if you’re interested ) and the traffic here has gone from bad to worse. I live in a suburb about 15 miles north of downtown Atlanta, and I work WAY WAY in the city. But here is what I do NOT understand. It takes me about ½ and hour to 45 minutes to get TO work … but close to 1 ½ hours to get home. …. Why is this….if someone can explain it to me, I’ma work out a sweet something something for you…not sure what it’s gonna be – but we’ll work something out.So I got a haircut last night. And I have a question. If you’re a hairdresser or know a hairdresser maybe you’ll know the answer to this question. I understand that there’s the metric system that different than our standard system of measurement …but is there a hairdressers measurement system that I’m not aware of … cause where else could “ take ½ inch off the ends” really mean hack it until I look like a fastpitch player. ( no offense to fastpitch players) …. Maybe it’s the same place where a man learns to embellish inches??? Something to think about…..

Thursday, August 26, 2004


Cause I have nothing original to add today …
1. I am a natural-ish redhead
2. my favorite curse word is motherfucker - actually it might be my favorite word period.
3. my favorite perfume smell is the essential oil of Amber
4. My list of men I get a “pass” on includes ( but is not limited to )Darius RuckerKevin SpaceyHarrison FordRicky Martin ( yes I know shut up )Any man brave enough to be hot, bald, and wear a kilt.One of those Bollywood guys on on the asian channel on weekends ( can’t help it – I love the mocha)
5. I was and still am an Art Geek. Would rather bead or paint that just about anything.
6. I get up every Saturday in time to listen to Car Talk on NPR
.7. I have issues with Lollipops, this has earned me the title of “round the way girl” at the office
8. I have been labeled an honorary “sistah” at the office – yay me
9. I am a vegetarian, but not a vegan
10. Maker’s Mark is my drink of choice
11. I actually wrote a letter to the Miss America people to have the talent portion remain in the telecast …. Didn’t work. I also wrote the Miss Georgia people to have them televise the pageant …they still don’t.
12. At one time I had over 300 bottles of nail polish.
13. I totaled my car in college and am lucky to be alive today
14. I go to church most every Sunday
.15. Purple is my favorite color, and every bedroom I’ve ever had has been purple
16. I had a “blues clues” themed birthday party for my dog’s first birthday
17. I collect “lips” or “kisses” shaped things
.18. I named my dog after Detective Mike Logan on Law and Order
19. I have an unnatural love of the show Law and Order
20. I’m a musical theater nerd.
21. I believe that a warm bath or shower at the end of the day can fix almost anything
22. I can out cuss just about anyone
23. I can make a MEAN indian meal
24. I pledged a sorority and was little sister to a fraternity
25. I dress up in a FABU outfit every parade i get a chance to and wave to the masses
26. I was in the audience for an episode of the Sally Jesse Raphael show
27. I have front row tickets to see Three Mo' Tenors and went with my dad
28. I am a loyal braves fan .. winning or losing....and I still miss greg maddux
29. I have a sticker in my cubicle at work that says " fat people are harder to kipnap"
30. Even though i'm a vegetarian, I take my dog to Wendy's for burgers when i have the extra coin
31. I wear my hair longish cause men seem to like it longish - not cause i necessarily do ( how fucked up is that?!)
32. I have killed not one but 2 multi disc cd players in my car cause i change the disc too quickly
33. I once worked in a grocery store bakery and lost one of my fake nails in a pie
34. I met Delta Burke
.35. I've been to Graceland .... and once only did a drive by of it.
36. I've lost touch with my best friend from middle and high school, but it's ok.
37. I just started taking prozac ... it's a very new and i think good thing.
38. I have more bath and girly products than i will EVER be able to use.
39. I kissed a girl in the porn store ( i knew the girl, was a peck, and her husband and a very interested lesiban watched.)
40. I've considered a master's degree about a million times, but i can't decide what i wanna be the master of..
41. I believe that the right song at the right time can actually save someone's life.
42. Even though i seem like an extroverted open book, I'm actually a very private person that not many people know well.
43. I actually spent the weekend with a stranger and we've become great friends.
44. I have 2 goddaughters.
45. One is named after me.
46. I'm actually closer to the other one.
47. My best friend is a guy.
48. I admitted to him that i think i'm in love with him this week ( not in a a david cassidy way )49. I know all the words to baby got back and sang it once from the choir loft at church on a dare
.50. I usually issue the dare, not DO the dare.
51. I have been known to flash to break up a tense moment.
52. I have been known to flash cause it's fun.
53. I'm irritated that the re-runs of "Friends" isn't on because of the olympics
54. I have been in the Atlanta paper before in a full color pic on the cover above the fold.
55. I used to have my college degree hanging up in the bathroom
.56. I have actually made money selling my art before.
57. I secretly watch the end of a NASCAR race once in a while
58. I secretly think jeff gordon is hot ( sorry dande )
59. I've broken my right ankle 2x's and can tell you when it's going to rain.
60. I've been to a strip club before
.61. When i went i ran into one of my clients that was working there that night.
62. I couldn't transfer her to another caseload
63. I told her I had a twin.
64. I think she believed it.
65. I collect baseball caps.
66. I've been to a psychic who was able to call someone out by NAME that there's no way she could know.
67. It freaked me out, and I've never been back.
68. I know all the words to the movie "Coal Miner's Daughter"
69. I giggled like a 14 year old boy when i thought "what should i put for 69"?
70. I collect watermelons, but don't like things watermelon scented.
71. My first concert was Shawn Cassidy with my dad when i was 5 years old
.72. My first concert without parental escort was Duran Duran in the 9th grade.
73. My last concert was..marc anthony.
74. I love to sing along to Spanish language music
75. I don't speak spanish.
76. My first 5 boyfriends were all named Mike
77. I haven't had a job outside of my "field" since i before i graduated college.
78. I was recently out of work for a long ass time
79. It was awful
80. work is better
81. Only upside, i met my best friend while out of work
82. One day while out of work, my friends sent me a check for almost $400. and a spa gift certificate
83. I have the best friends on the planet
84. I really really like beer
85. I have no tattoos
86. I want a tattoo
87. I am chickenshit about the pain.
88. I seriously considered a piercing ... on one of the girls
89. Then i saw someone get one
90. I no longer want a piercing
91. My dream is to one day go to the countryside in Ireland and walk barefoot hand in hand with the man i love who loves me back.
92. It's hard as ass to think of a million things to tell people that i both DO and DON'T know about me
93. I flunked out of my first college
94. I had a GOOD fuckin time
95. I still don't regret that.
96. I had to sneak out of a party one time... cause they broke out some hard core drugs- and that's fine - but this homey don't play that.
97. One of my best friends and i didn't speak for 2 years. 98. We call it the 2 years of our discontent
.99. Ashville North Carolina is one of my favorite places in the world
100. If i had my way, i'd live there in a cabin on a lake
101. One day i will have my way
102. I read about one book a week
103. I am loyal to my friends always and forever.
104. I had to come up with 104 - cause HRT has 102 on his diary.cause i'm a smart ass like that.but a smart ass with a great rack and great hair.know this.fo sho.peace out.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Hair Replacement System
Ok so it’s hot at the office – and I had TOO MUCH coffee this morning, and I’m in a bit of a coffee/caffeine ugh stupor…and found myself looking up an old boyfriend on line. This is the one who broke up with me for being too fat. ( my ass not his wallet ) now, my question is why would I want to do this … then I realized I have a funny story to tell you about him ( granted we met on line – and I have more stories to tell about that – stupid things that both I did and he did – lies were involved of course …. ) but I’m gonna tell the story where he comes out looking stupid before I tell one where I do – cause that’s the kinda gal I am.Now this guy started out wonderful…and may actually BE wonderful someday – so let’s keep this in mind. We’re at that early-ish stage of getting to know each other – but staying on the phone CONSTANTLY. I mean this guy and I used to stay up ALL NIGHT LONG and just talk. Politics, Religion, how we wanted to raise kids, what our childhoods were like, movies, books… you name it – good stuff and still some great memories …. Anyhow …..So I have some friends in town – and one of them got sick and I ended up taking to the emergency room here in town … well it’s like 3 am – and I figure I’m up – I’m waking his mocha ass up too …. So I do … and we’re just talking – he’s concerned about my friend and about me waiting by myself et al … then I let him go back to sleep and I’m watching the HORRIBLE infomercials that are on in the waiting room and one comes on about a hair replacement system …. ( can you see where this is going ) so I call him and I say promise me something “ if you go bald, just be bald – shave it off – wear it short – whatever … just don’t get one of those things…” he’s all “ what” ( cause I’m waking him up ya see ) and “ok” and we talk a little longer – and I send him off back to bed ….Fast forward the next day – he calls and says I need you to check your email and then call me when you can ….Yup. He wore a piece. Was like 32 years old, maybe even 31 and wore a piece. At first I felt like shit for telling him never to get one …. Now I remember that he told me I was too fat for him. I don’t feel bad anymore.

Welcome to Krispy Kreme, may i fuck up your order please?

music: al greencoffee cup #: 1hair status: fabuloussite to make you laugh until you pee on yourself a little bit: http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.htmlphrase most often heard at work this morning: "you nasty"... now this was not directed at me, nor do i know what it's totally about - although i did hear the phrase - "you have to relax your throat"...and it's been my experience that while this isn't necessarily nasty .... it is generally excellent advice. i know these things - feel free to ask if you have questions.so i pretty much never go on the " you're in america, learn the motherFUCKING language" rant. but today .. yea, i'ma have to go on it ... see last night i'm talking to #3 sc divison, discussing her trip here - and for no apparent reason i decided that mike and i NEEDED krispy kremes. so even though i was already in pj's makeup free and ponytailed up ... we loaded up in the car and headed past the big chicken http://roadsidegeorgia.com/site/bigchicken.html and go on to the KK. ( note: hot sign WAS in fact on, so far so good) and i ordered 3 regluar glazed ( for the dog ) and 3 vanilla creme filled chocolate iced for ME .... the man ( from i have NO idea where ...) repeated the order ... wrong of course ... so i correct him and drive around....get the delicious hot yummy goodness...and head home....MOTHERFUCKER.so did mike get his correct order ... you bet. did the non english speaker fuck up my order.... you bet. fuck me. i got regular frekin KK's with chocolate frosting on them. now those are perfectly good, i realize this - but A. there's NO creme filling in them... and 4. they're NOT what i fucking ordered. ( although one was a tasty breakfast treat this morning )but the upside of all this is - #3 will be here tomorrow, we're gonna see the Village People ( or perhaps Village Person and 4 other guys ) tomorrow night, saturday we're heading to the vortex for pitchers of beer and laughing until we can't see anymore .... then i'm teaching her to knit { could i BE more eclectic ... well yea, but that's another story }, and sunday i'm going to see 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat' ... and see that counts both as good theater and an afternoon watching men 1/2 dressed singing ... both of these are good things.yay me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Hair Replacement System
Ok so it’s hot at the office – and I had TOO MUCH coffee this morning, and I’m in a bit of a coffee/caffeine ugh stupor…and found myself looking up an old boyfriend on line. This is the one who broke up with me for being too fat. ( my ass not his wallet ) now, my question is why would I want to do this … then I realized I have a funny story to tell you about him ( granted we met on line – and I have more stories to tell about that – stupid things that both I did and he did – lies were involved of course …. ) but I’m gonna tell the story where he comes out looking stupid before I tell one where I do – cause that’s the kinda gal I am.Now this guy started out wonderful…and may actually BE wonderful someday – so let’s keep this in mind. We’re at that early-ish stage of getting to know each other – but staying on the phone CONSTANTLY. I mean this guy and I used to stay up ALL NIGHT LONG and just talk. Politics, Religion, how we wanted to raise kids, what our childhoods were like, movies, books… you name it – good stuff and still some great memories …. Anyhow …..So I have some friends in town – and one of them got sick and I ended up taking to the emergency room here in town … well it’s like 3 am – and I figure I’m up – I’m waking his mocha ass up too …. So I do … and we’re just talking – he’s concerned about my friend and about me waiting by myself et al … then I let him go back to sleep and I’m watching the HORRIBLE infomercials that are on in the waiting room and one comes on about a hair replacement system …. ( can you see where this is going ) so I call him and I say promise me something “ if you go bald, just be bald – shave it off – wear it short – whatever … just don’t get one of those things…” he’s all “ what” ( cause I’m waking him up ya see ) and “ok” and we talk a little longer – and I send him off back to bed ….Fast forward the next day – he calls and says I need you to check your email and then call me when you can ….Yup. He wore a piece. Was like 32 years old, maybe even 31 and wore a piece. At first I felt like shit for telling him never to get one …. Now I remember that he told me I was too fat for him. I don’t feel bad anymore.

Monday, August 23, 2004
not enough has been said about
my love of 2 things.coffee and music.and when the right combo of both can be found. good golly miss molly - it's a happy moment. so right now my current favorite man in all the world ( robert at work ) just handed me a cup of freshly made KONA coffee ... yes that's right people, a pure kona moment. It's like sex in a cup. In fact it's the closest i've gotten to sex in a long time - but that's another story for another day. as you know #3 kentucky sent me a million cd's and one of them is titled "songs that make me remember boys" when i listened to it in the car this morning and it had frekin Michael Penn on it - i knew more than ever how destined to be friends she and i were. Who the hell else knows who Michael Penn is?? I saw him open up for Tears for Fears at Six Flags when i was like 18 or 19 and totally fell in love with his smart music. and my friend likes him too ( and she's younger than me - which means she's been into cool music from even a younger age. we love that )so now i'm sitting here with my ginormous watermelon mug of coffee - slowing waking up ... and listening to Josh Groban. damn. good times.anyone wanna slow dance in the den with me? please?

Sunday, August 22, 2004
easy like sunday morning.
Good Morning My People!I’m supposed to be all dressed and bejeweled and on my way to church this morning – but no, I’m sitting in front of the computer, drinking some most excellent coffee and snacking on ashlee’s pistachio bread…. Damn – it’s tasty! And I’m listening to Jamie something or other and it’s wonderful Sunday morning music. It was one of the inclusions in my box of love from #3 kentucky …. If she ever offers to send you something let her - I am the lone #3 slacker when it comes to sending gifties –the others are amazing.Anyway I think this Jamie person is like 12 – but the cd is really sweet, it makes me wanna picnic ( or eat al fresco if you will ) with someone who I’m smitten by – and who of course is even more smitten by me … but until then, I’ve got the music and an excellent cup of coffee.Pretty good weekend…yesterday I was still fighting off the cold so I had the lazy day. And I discovered that the movies on lifetime do actually suck … so spent the day reading and napping and walking the dog –then made home made soup and bread. Sexy life no?But I did go to an amazing cabaret on Friday night which confirmed the fact that a. damn I can’t sing and 6. I really never should stopped taking piano lessons but I guess there’s still time for all of that whatever…So, I know these are usually funny-ish ..but I’ve sorta decided to write these for me and not really for anyone else so some are funny and some not so much. I’m sorta serious-y today – I have a lot of things going on, some biggish decisions to make and I predict some major changes or shifts going on soon…and this could be a good thing for me I think.Having lunch with mom and dad this morning – hopefully all will go smoothly – then I think I’m taking mike to the park, if I can get this cough to go away – otherwise – I’m gonna get my butt back on the sofa and try to learn how to breathe again.Yay me.And take this ya bitches, #3 south cakalackie division will be here this weekend to play … YAY!

Friday, August 13, 2004
ah kids!
Ok, so this didn’t happen to me but GAWDAMN it’s funny. So my friend Ann P…. no wait that’s too obvious, let’s call her “Ms. Pinyan” (ok we all know I stole that from dusty, but it’s funny – so let it go) is waiting with her son for his bus (btw – he just started kindergarten – I can’t BELIEVE that ..but anyway )….Sanyways…It’s actually cool outside here in the morning today … prolly due to the hurricane, but whatever – I’m happy that it’s cool! So this morning the wee child says something along the lines of “mommy I’m cold” … to where ann, er ms piyan replies … “I know it is cool outside today”… child responds “ I have bumps all over my legs …. And points to mom’s nippleage and says … you’re cold too! You’ve got those bumps”Or something like that.And 8am …it was frekin funny – and as I have more time to embellish the story as I am wont to do for the sake of the joke – it will get even better!
posted by allie @ 4:21 PM





Kickin it Jesus Style.
Kickin’ it Jesus Style.That line cracks me up - I haven’t seen the movie “saved” and of course since I live in Atlanta, it played here for like 1 showing then removed itself from the buckle of the bible belt – prolly on advise from Jerry Falwell or some other assmunch.Anyway, I’m on a marathon yak with #3 kentucky region last night and she mentions that this is her favorite line …. Having not seen the movie even .. I can safely guess that it’s my favorite line too. It rocks. I also liked the sceen in the previews where the girl is hurling a bible at someone yelling “ I am FILLED with the love of Christ” … I don’t know why, but damn that cracks me up. But that being said…I saw where someone on Diaryland posted something along the lines of 100 facts about me …and while I’m not in the mood to type up 100 things…I thought I’d post some …..So like to hear it, here it goes …..1 I am a social service worker who is a latent cosmetologist – and if I had my druthers, would be running a swanky salon geared to fat chicks … ie: bigger chairs, bigger robes to wear, better snacks et al.2. Along those lines I have an unnatural love of hair color. In high school it manifested itself in everyshade of red/purple possible. From cherry red, to hot pink, to burgundy. Now that I’m in my 30’s the love is still there – the color choices just change…now I’m sporting a dark dark brown ( ala delta burke)3. I can admit it here – I have a full on girl crush on Delta Burke. AND I’ve even met her – I have pictures to prove it … but that’s another story for another day4. I am prone to fall in love really easily with many things …. Right now I’m in love with sno cones, Justin Timberlake, PF3, Stacey, STACEY'S BROTHER - HE'S HOT I TELL YOU HOT - AND SOUNDS LIKE A SEXY MOTHERFUCKER ON THE PHONE!dande,Mike, Sleeping in, comfortable bras, and other things/people i'm not ready to mention in print yet.5. I have a purse fettish that I’m working on overcoming.6. And a nail polish fettish I have NO plans on curbing7. And I’m funnier than …. He knows who he is!8. The peanut will be back on the 15th –is it wrong that I’ve sorta missed him …9. I think I’ve never actually been “in” love before – loved often but not the permanent one10. favorite color is purple ….11. I wear almost all black all the time12. I’ve given all my tiaras away except one … ( the big one of course)13. I have a sock monkey who has an outfit that matches my parade outfit!
posted by allie @ 1:14 PM




Thursday, August 12, 2004
Show me your hooters.
I swear to God. I saw this sign today. I'm driving home from a very " challenging " job. Not that it's hard...it's actually not. But I've had ZERO training and have been thrown to the wolves in it ... but that's another story. Anyway, long ass day - I'm finally on my way home ... traffic is not that bad - I'm screaming at the top of my lungs to Baba o'Riley... and damn happy traveling my happy ass up 75 towards where it merges with 285 and i drive past an 18 wheeler with a HAND WRITTEN SIGN taped to the cab at car eye height " show me your hooters"I wanted to ask Toby, " does that often work "? ( for my stories .... most of the moron's are going to be named toby ..... draw your own conclusions ) I want to know a. what kind of man really does things like that - did they learn nothing from calling thelma and louise "beavers"? and b. what kind of woman would then show him said hooters?Now those who know me know i'm not opposed to the flash - i find nudity fun and when unexpected hysterical...so i'm not asking this from a prudish stand point... i'm a fan of the boobs. i like mine ... joke with my friends all the time about having or not having a "great rack" but i can't see any of us actually " showing our hooters" per request with a sharpie marker.I think i'm gonna make a sign that says " show me your ... well show me nothing - get off the goddamn phone and drive"
posted by allie @ 9:43 PM



I have faith in medication, I believe in the Prozac Nation
....if you know either A. what song that line is from or B. who sings that song - i will kiss you full on the mouth.so i did it. i got on the 'zac bus. it was one of the scariest things i've ever done - but i feel better for just having done it. i just hope it doesn't effect my ability to rant... cause damnit - i'm really really good at that. so i'm on my lunch hour at work - sitting at my desk listening to al green and eating the spicy cheese its. anyone who really knows me - knows of my love of the spicy cheese it. or as i like to call it - me favorite ( yes ME favorite ) non chocolate snack...and i like to say it with an "ahoy matey" pirate accent too - i'm not sure why - but it's one of the quirks that makes me me.ok that being said how are we today ... i think we're alright so far. if i had to pick a color i'd say like a light green .... not my full on bold - but not all swarmed up in the blues for the moment -and this is amazing considering the fact that i sat in traffic for an hour and 1/2 this morning .... but thanks to my hot friend #3 - i gots LOTS o music ... started with van morrision - cause it was all foggy and dark - perfect for tupelo honey and into the mystic .... then i moved to hootie - but it was the cd with "only lonely" on it - and that song is WAY too raw for me to listen to right now ( that's a whole 'nother blog entry ) then i moved on to big and rich .... they make me laugh ... then a little old skool prince ..... i managed to actually have an umbrella in the car when i had to park 100 miles away from the office ..... so there was minimal hair damage ...this weekend i'm going to a suprize birthday party for a friend of mine that's turning 60...and it's at a tango bar. hum. i thought so too.

Friday, August 20, 2004
so again what to say
ok so this has been a weird week. and now i'm getting a cold and hopped on on cold meds - so it's a good time to talk about it right. so the week started off ok ... i was emailing with someone of the pork variety and we were going to meet up for a beer or two - we had like 3 or 4 pretty funny emails going on ... then in classic male form .... or like Kaiser Sose ... POOF he was gone. how strange huh? whatever.anyhow, so i have this fun project going on with a friend and when i accept my Emmy - i'll remember all my friends of course ( and wear the tiara ) so i'll give more details of that while it's happening ... and oh yeah, the peanut is back. I talked to him for a couple of hours last night. Damn, he's a cutie. and I had all but forgotten how to flirt. It's good to know i still know how ... might actually come in handy for real one day.The coffee isn't ready at work - but the internet radio just played al green. and life could be worse.so here's my link for the day - cause it makes me laugh. and will make todd insanehttp://www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com/and check out .. http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/carry on. prepare ye the corn.
posted by allie @ 7:16 AM




Wednesday, August 18, 2004
so again, no idea what to say
but i have noticed that i've been on the phone like a 12 year old lately.i'm on the phone all the time at work, and usually when i get home - i'm all ABOUT not yapping - but lately i can't talk to my friends enough. all praise the one rate long distance plan. ok - so that was last night - and it seems that last night i also had the bed time of a 12 year old ...but it wasn't enough sleep to keep me from acting like a 'ron today. So i have a dog right? as we all know this dog is the best thing ever - and i adore him ( i'm in my 30's and have no kids, so shut the fuck up ) so our normal routine in the morning is get up - throw on some clothes, take him for a quick 10-15 minute walk, come inside shower, yadda yadda yadda. ok fast forward to this morning.... get up a minute or 2 late - no biggie - but i was still WAY tired so i thought i would hop in the shower first ... so get all showered up ( long ass girly routine .... later rinse repeate exfoliate shave blah blah blah ) so hop out of the shower ( well, if you know me, you know that "hop" really isn't the right word - but whatever ) and throw the hair in a towel - throw on shorts and a t-shirt - thinking i'll just take mike out to the backyard ... but by the time i get downstairs, thow his leash on and get outside ..... i forgot the plan and was about 10 minutes into the walk - when i realized ... um, allie ... TOWEL on head ... and let's just say .. not really great walking clothes ..... luckily for me - it was still o'dark hundred .. and i managed to avoid too much neighborhood interaction.the upside of all this is - i thought i was having a majorily shitty hair day ... and have received 2 compliments so far - so either i work with mean uber bitches or i've even cuter than i think i am!now i have to see if the coffee has been made yet - and if not ... kill people!
posted by allie @ 10:19 AM


Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Hum Thinkng Thinking...
So, I'm not sure what exactly to say this morning - but it's a classic allie move to stop writing - so i'm just gonna stream of consciousness go here and see what happens.From this mornings music choices, i predict that today will be sorta mellow, I went the nora jones and josh groban route in the car - until i almost fell back asleep and rear ended someone at the chic-fil-a whilst waiting for my egg and cheese biscuit and sweet tea... ( that read ALMOST - i didnt' hit anyone...yet) so then i decided that i really should see what's on the radio and see if i couldn't make myself wake up before i got to work and let the coffee gods do their magic.So then i turned on a local radio station and check this. They were talking to women, local atlanta women, who were writing love letters ( and meaning it ) to Scott Peterson. I mean come the fuck on. At the VERY VERY VERY least, he's a guy who not only cheated on his wife ( and i do get that even under the best circumstances that happens ) but cheated when his wife was 8 1/2 months pregnant. This woman on the radio "emily" kept saying how someone was innocent until proven guilty in this county....ok that's true ... BUT COME ON! She had written to both scott and his lawyers ..... and said "when she looked in his eyes she just couldn't believe that he was a murderer" WHA?????? ok, one - you're looking at someone on tv. That's like me saying when Kevin Spacey acts on screen, he's acting straight to me ... um... someones coocoo for coocoa puffs ..... then started talking about how attractive he was.Now i've seen people that one first glance were not what i'd consider beautiful, but then when you meet them and they make you laugh or smile or sing... or you see the kindness of their spirit or the triumph of the heart - they become more attractive. But holy jumped up jesus christ... this man is accused of killing his wife and unborn baby ... in allie world, you lose cute points for that.but maybe that's just me.
posted by allie @ 10:33 AM .




Sunday, August 15, 2004
Island Day
Not in the de plane de plane way ...but in some ways a fantasy nonetheless.Every once in a while, this girl needs an island day ...not a depression induced stay in the bed and be pitiful day, but a stay on the sofa and watch bad movies on lifetime tv and eat junk food and nap with the dog day. These days can be even better when you have someone to nap and snuggle with, but today I had to be content with the dog.At this moment however, I'm suffering the after effects of the slug/island day - serious cabin fever. There are 2 problems with this a. i live in ga and it's sunday - so everything to do solo is closed and z. i'm flying solo these days. So as you can see there is no spanish man in a white suit greeting me off of the plane and onto the island where the man of my dreams or reality or weekend would happen to be ...and Law and Order CI has been pre-empted by the Olympics .... but i have an awsome dog and access to ice cream, so i think i'll survive another day.
posted by allie @ 10:35 PM




Saturday, August 14, 2004
It's Official, I'm ....well getting old.
So last night a friend of mine had a suprize birthday party. This friend of mine is older .. she turns 60 this weekend, and her kids threw her a wing ding - complete with friends flying in from both New York and California. I was suprized to see when I got the invitation that the party was in Buckhead.... cause I didn't think of her as a Buckhead party girl ( Buckhead is a part of Atlanta that used to be pretty fun with lots of bars and clubs and stuff ... and somewhere it got less fun, or I got older .... either way - if you're in Atlanta, I recomment the Highlands area ... but i digress... i do that a lot) So my friends and I get to the club....not without driving in oncoming traffic's land and almost getting killed - but we didn't - so there's that ...... so we get there -and climb up about 500 stairs to this "party room" that's attached to a bar downstairs. Dear Readers ( both of you ) i have 3 words ... No Air Conditioning .... and a few more words .... there's a band downstairs warming up right underneath us - so there's the whole "our" music competing for "their" music. Although one friend of mine "Ann P." discovered that sitting at the right angle on the chair while the bass was seriously thumping was NOT an completly bad thing.Anyho, Allie hadn't eaten all day - so perhaps starting by drinking a Manhattan in about 3 seconds wasn't the way to go - so i moved on to my dear friend Corona....and ran into an old friend ... it was unexpected to see her - but according to some there - she kept talking bout how pretty i looked - and whether you dig girls or boys - a compliment is a compliment ... just wish there was a boy there saying such things - but whatever ..... man, I'm digressing again....So she was suprized...and that's cool - she was THRILLED to see her friends from college there .... then the music started - LOUD. This is where i realized I'm too old. Small room, LOUD music, not able to talk, I really am a drinker and a chatter, i like dancing when dancing is happening, but loud music just for loud music doesn't work for me, and by 10:30 ... i was starting to be REAL ready to go and do something else .... so us being us ....what did we do?? yes. that's right. we ate. a little veggie sushi is good for whatever ails ya. Then i headed back home to mike....listening to Al Green all the way ...... if you have to be alone listening to Al, the only way to do it is LOUD with the windows down imagining that you're dancing in the arms of someone safe that makes you smile.maybe i'll find that guy at the next party.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
blogger is cranky today
i'm having posting issues - but if i have anything really profound or funny to say - i'll start calling people and letting you know!!!
posted by allie @ 10:19 AM



so, sometimes i'm really funny
it seems that even when things are their crappiest, i'm still one funny motherfucker. i was talking to a girlfriend of mine - of of my most favorite in the world ever (not one of the #3's - but she should be ) and after she put her brother on the phone ( who i'm SO in love with - is that wrong ?? ) the funny started. she and i were taking about our inability to do the whole casual sex thing - how a commitment was necessary for those kind of relations ... and i said " well i am very particiular about what goes in my vagina" now damnit people that's funny. I make her snort with laughter so i knew my work was done. Then she helped me with my pining for this man that i can never have and don't know if i honestly even "want" him .... or if it's one of those "you know you can't have him so it makes you want him more" things ... and as i was talking about it i realized that man has baggage and " that baggage ain't got no wheels" so why would i possibly be attracted to that - and i was reminded that i'm fucked up. well, those weren't the words that were used - but the message was the same ..... however that being said .... last night was better than the night before - even though it still included crying on the phone to the west virginia contingency..... but my beloved friends talked me down from the tree and made sure i was ok .... it was sweet, she asked if i was " safe " and i assure her i was MUCH more homicidal than suicidal.... i knew if i could still make a joke - we'd all be ok for one more night.thank you to my friends ... i love all of you - and still can't WAIT for the under the sweater action from you. ( and some of your brothers!! )
posted by allie @ 10:16 AM




Monday, August 09, 2004
ok so here's my question of the moment
why would i care who someone else loves? ie - who care's if someone is gay or not. now i can think about how i would feel as a parent, maybe i would have to change my "picture" or "dream" for them, but they'd still be my kid....now if i married someone and they turned out to be gay - i can imagine the anger i'd have and the questioning of my own "womanliness" but would the pain be any less if he cheated with another woman? cheating and pain is cheating and pain. i was witness to a discussion today about homosexuality and it still sorta startles me. i can understand homophobia, sexism, even to some extent racism in the "older" generation - but when it's people my age-ish...it gives me pause to wonder.i come from the school of thought of why the hell would i care if someone is gay - i'm not. but why would they care if i'm not?? i ask this as someone who ( god help me for using this cliche') has 2 of her best friends in the world who are a gay couple and several gay friends that i'd do anything for. is their love or emotion or joy any less "valid" than mine - cause i happen to dig the men? and my follow up to that is WHO CARES? what does it effect. like my stance on abortion - if you're against it dont' have one ... if you're against the gay lifestyle - don't participate it in .... and who cares if it's a "choice" or "born" in you ( the gay thing) is one better or more important or more relevant than the other ... i don't understand the logic behind even the question...and people like to throw the whole bible thing in there to state their case. now using the bible as a weapon of judgement and hate is a good way to piss this girl off. i don't need someone else to act as a go between me and god... nor does anyone else .... the bible also states i can sell my people as a slave to a neighboring country - ( does candaian money or mexican money have a higher trade ratio now) it also says that you can't eat shellfish or pork - yet i KNOW lots 'o' straight people who pork it up on a regular basis.i know this is rambly - but goddamnit - this is my blog and i can say what i want to .... i guess long story short - i don't get it... and i'm disappointed by it.
posted by allie @ 7:04 PM



ick kack.
ever have that day where even Van Morrison and a good cup of coffee can't make you happy? I have finally come to the place where I can admit that I have a problem with depression and I'm gonna do something about it. I think I can finally admit that it's not a charactor flaw, or make me a weak person. or any of those guilt trips I've thrown on myself in the past when I've thought about this and yet done nothing. The past 16 months or so have been the worst ever -and it's time to go about turning that around. I'm not exactly sure what that is going to look like. I've considered selling my house and finding another job in another town and getting out of dodge. I've considered going back to school for something WAY different than social services, I'm considering becoming that size 12 alcoholic I always knew I could be. But what i do know, is that i can't feel like this anymore. I can't be unhappy all the time. I can't feel alone every moment of the day. I can't be sad doing things that used to make me happy, I can't compramise my happiness for someone else's anymore. And i can't wait for other people to approve for me to do what's right for me. I have to stop living to please everyone else and just please me...if it upsets or angers those around me - that just has to be what happens. I'm tired of doing everything to please everyone else but me. Tired of saying yes when i want to SCREAM no. Tired of doing something cause it will please someone else when all i want to do is be alone. Tired of being alone when all i want to do is be with someone else. Tired of not being comfortable in my own skin or happy in my own house.I'm just tired. But maybe with therapy and pharmacology - I can find the happy allie again.I hope so. Cause I miss her.

Saturday, August 07, 2004
damn damn damn ( said with florida evans voice)
this has been a day of shit. so much so that i can't put it all here - cause people i know might read this and i can't even let them know what shit it's been. it'll be just me and my dog with this one. and to add insult to injury - i called no less than 4 of my girls to cry on their laps - both marys, lauren AND stacey. and no one was home. this sucks.
posted by allie @ 8:39 PM



Good God Almighty I Love Sleeping In...
There are few things that surpass the unmitigated joy of waking up when you are good and goddamn ready to. I mean not having the dog wake you up, not the phone, nor the alarm... just you going allie - it's time to get up. And when that happens, and there are good cartoons ( like the old ones i used to sneak and watch while growing up) well hell - that's a damn good morning.So -on a completly different topic, i was thinking about this whole blog thing today. All my life i've wanted to keep a journal ... and can't keep one for more than like 2 days but now i'm writing what will probably be quasi personal stuff and putting it "out there". I must really need a LOT more therapy. I was reading a blog of one of my favorite girls in the entire world and it's so smart and political and relevant to life and mine is more like rick james is dead, i want to color my hair, why aren't i married yet, and i wish someone else would wash my dog. So for my sanity i decided that i would assume that this friend has and equally silly blog somewhere out there and was just sharing her most wonderful and attractive leftist leaning with me and leaving the personal stuff, well personal.Today here's where we are, I need to clean my house - but decided to listen to Car Talk on NPR instead, I need to run a few errands - but i don't get paid until next week, and my car SO SO SO needs to be cleaned out - but i live in atlanta - and it's actually not "wish you were dead hot" or as i like to call it " hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell" hot - so i think the dog and i will go to the dogpark and look at cute boys.....that option beats the cleaning one every time.
posted by allie @ 1:19 PM


Friday, August 06, 2004
Rick James is dead
is it wrong that at first the only question was did he set himself on fire with his crack pipe? of course i ask this on the heels of one of those giganto Moe's burritos ( the Joey with tofu, thanks for asking ) so everything is getting a little bit slower of a reaction time than originally intened. I'm sure my compassion will work it's way around soon. But I gotta tell you my office is cracking me up ( now the office itself is an entirely different story ) but the reactions are interesting - every few moments someone breaks into "superfreak" or " mary jane" or " ebony eyes" and it's cracking me up ( no crack joke intended there )so i have to work - but needed to say that....and that i'm thinking about writing a book or short story or play with another person about a missed opportunity at love but a possible chance at a lasting friendship. could be cool - but i'm gonna need mas beers to think this one thru.
posted by allie @ 2:56 PM


first time
ok, so i have several dear friends that do this blog or diary thing where they post their innermost thoughts and then ask for comments on them. i'm not sure that i'm the girl for that - since i welcome criticism about as much as the RNC welcomes free thought.that being said i'm gonna just act like this is my own little pretty journal ( remember those that they used to have with the sorta "raised" cover that you could go over with a pencil and make a rubbing of?) anyway ... i'ma thinking up what i wanna say and how i wanna say it ... so i'll be back - after a trip to MOE'S!