Friday, August 13, 2004
Ok, so this didn’t happen to me but GAWDAMN it’s funny. So my friend Ann P…. no wait that’s too obvious, let’s call her “Ms. Pinyan” (ok we all know I stole that from dusty, but it’s funny – so let it go) is waiting with her son for his bus (btw – he just started kindergarten – I can’t BELIEVE that ..but anyway )….Sanyways…It’s actually cool outside here in the morning today … prolly due to the hurricane, but whatever – I’m happy that it’s cool! So this morning the wee child says something along the lines of “mommy I’m cold” … to where ann, er ms piyan replies … “I know it is cool outside today”… child responds “ I have bumps all over my legs …. And points to mom’s nippleage and says … you’re cold too! You’ve got those bumps”Or something like that.And 8am …it was frekin funny – and as I have more time to embellish the story as I am wont to do for the sake of the joke – it will get even better!
posted by allie @ 4:21 PM
Kickin it Jesus Style.
Kickin’ it Jesus Style.That line cracks me up - I haven’t seen the movie “saved” and of course since I live in Atlanta, it played here for like 1 showing then removed itself from the buckle of the bible belt – prolly on advise from Jerry Falwell or some other assmunch.Anyway, I’m on a marathon yak with #3 kentucky region last night and she mentions that this is her favorite line …. Having not seen the movie even .. I can safely guess that it’s my favorite line too. It rocks. I also liked the sceen in the previews where the girl is hurling a bible at someone yelling “ I am FILLED with the love of Christ” … I don’t know why, but damn that cracks me up. But that being said…I saw where someone on Diaryland posted something along the lines of 100 facts about me …and while I’m not in the mood to type up 100 things…I thought I’d post some …..So like to hear it, here it goes …..1 I am a social service worker who is a latent cosmetologist – and if I had my druthers, would be running a swanky salon geared to fat chicks … ie: bigger chairs, bigger robes to wear, better snacks et al.2. Along those lines I have an unnatural love of hair color. In high school it manifested itself in everyshade of red/purple possible. From cherry red, to hot pink, to burgundy. Now that I’m in my 30’s the love is still there – the color choices just change…now I’m sporting a dark dark brown ( ala delta burke)3. I can admit it here – I have a full on girl crush on Delta Burke. AND I’ve even met her – I have pictures to prove it … but that’s another story for another day4. I am prone to fall in love really easily with many things …. Right now I’m in love with sno cones, Justin Timberlake, PF3, Stacey, STACEY'S BROTHER - HE'S HOT I TELL YOU HOT - AND SOUNDS LIKE A SEXY MOTHERFUCKER ON THE PHONE!dande,Mike, Sleeping in, comfortable bras, and other things/people i'm not ready to mention in print yet.5. I have a purse fettish that I’m working on overcoming.6. And a nail polish fettish I have NO plans on curbing7. And I’m funnier than …. He knows who he is!8. The peanut will be back on the 15th –is it wrong that I’ve sorta missed him …9. I think I’ve never actually been “in” love before – loved often but not the permanent one10. favorite color is purple ….11. I wear almost all black all the time12. I’ve given all my tiaras away except one … ( the big one of course)13. I have a sock monkey who has an outfit that matches my parade outfit!
posted by allie @ 1:14 PM
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Show me your hooters.
I swear to God. I saw this sign today. I'm driving home from a very " challenging " job. Not that it's hard...it's actually not. But I've had ZERO training and have been thrown to the wolves in it ... but that's another story. Anyway, long ass day - I'm finally on my way home ... traffic is not that bad - I'm screaming at the top of my lungs to Baba o'Riley... and damn happy traveling my happy ass up 75 towards where it merges with 285 and i drive past an 18 wheeler with a HAND WRITTEN SIGN taped to the cab at car eye height " show me your hooters"I wanted to ask Toby, " does that often work "? ( for my stories .... most of the moron's are going to be named toby ..... draw your own conclusions ) I want to know a. what kind of man really does things like that - did they learn nothing from calling thelma and louise "beavers"? and b. what kind of woman would then show him said hooters?Now those who know me know i'm not opposed to the flash - i find nudity fun and when unexpected hysterical...so i'm not asking this from a prudish stand point... i'm a fan of the boobs. i like mine ... joke with my friends all the time about having or not having a "great rack" but i can't see any of us actually " showing our hooters" per request with a sharpie marker.I think i'm gonna make a sign that says " show me your ... well show me nothing - get off the goddamn phone and drive"
posted by allie @ 9:43 PM
I have faith in medication, I believe in the Prozac Nation
....if you know either A. what song that line is from or B. who sings that song - i will kiss you full on the mouth.so i did it. i got on the 'zac bus. it was one of the scariest things i've ever done - but i feel better for just having done it. i just hope it doesn't effect my ability to rant... cause damnit - i'm really really good at that. so i'm on my lunch hour at work - sitting at my desk listening to al green and eating the spicy cheese its. anyone who really knows me - knows of my love of the spicy cheese it. or as i like to call it - me favorite ( yes ME favorite ) non chocolate snack...and i like to say it with an "ahoy matey" pirate accent too - i'm not sure why - but it's one of the quirks that makes me me.ok that being said how are we today ... i think we're alright so far. if i had to pick a color i'd say like a light green .... not my full on bold - but not all swarmed up in the blues for the moment -and this is amazing considering the fact that i sat in traffic for an hour and 1/2 this morning .... but thanks to my hot friend #3 - i gots LOTS o music ... started with van morrision - cause it was all foggy and dark - perfect for tupelo honey and into the mystic .... then i moved to hootie - but it was the cd with "only lonely" on it - and that song is WAY too raw for me to listen to right now ( that's a whole 'nother blog entry ) then i moved on to big and rich .... they make me laugh ... then a little old skool prince ..... i managed to actually have an umbrella in the car when i had to park 100 miles away from the office ..... so there was minimal hair damage ...this weekend i'm going to a suprize birthday party for a friend of mine that's turning 60...and it's at a tango bar. hum. i thought so too.