you'd see the face of a happy girl...

it's raining - and icky outside ...... i'm so super uber busy at work.....

but i'm heading to charlotte tomorrow to see they boys and DESTROY a foolish boy who played with the heart ( and other pink parts ) of one of the numbers

and today i finally found an all beach music internet radio channel .... i'm happy - and dreaming of shagging on the beach in carolina.

i hear it calling my name.

I had a dream about Jason mraz last night
I’m eating spaghettio’s at my desk for lunch
I’m missing my numbers
I get to see the boys again this weekend
I’m stronger than I thought
It’s been hot here for 1.3 days and I’m already ready to chop my hair off
I need to clean my house
I need to clean my car
I need to clear my mind
I caught you a delicious bass
I might actually have a problem with a makeup addiction
I’m willing to learn something new everyday
I’m going to see Patti LuPone in may
I want a new tiara
I want a cheeseburger and curly fries for dinner
I want to go to texas
I am getting new glasses and contacts this weekend
I am going to miss mike while I’m gone
I have been off the trazadone for a week now
I want a new purse
I think maybe I don’t want children
I’m going to paint my bedroom this spring
I’m tired of watching the news
I haven’t cooked a meal since the boys left
I want a job where I can bring my dog
I want someone to go to church with me
I’m tired of doing things alone
I actually bought the “allure” magazine with Britney spears on the cover
I also bought diet coke, advil, and chocolate
I have my period ( can you tell )
I wonder why he never called again.
I need to go to the grocery store
I like ben and jerry’s pistachio ice cream best
I want a hug
I need a pedicure
I keep hairspray, lipgloss, and tampons in my car
I also keep supplies for mike in the trunk
I think I’m pretty smart
I wish I was smarter
I wish I hadn’t gotten in all that money trouble last year
I’m glad that most all of that is over
I’m grateful
I’m hoping se7en will show us around if we ever make it to NO
I think canned peaches are icky – but I LOVE fresh ones
I’m eating canned ones with lunch today
I love you all.

i got the wind knocked out of me last night. i got on line and saw this about Paul Hester of the band Crowded House.

as y'all may or may not know - i'm a total junkie for this band. i know that there are bands we like in high school or college and don't listen to anymore. but this was not one of them. i listened to them everyday ... when i find someone who knows one of their less popular songs ... it makes my heart leap. like i've found a kindred spirit.

and now, paul is gone. rest in peace.

Distant Sun
Tell me all the things you would change
I don't pretend to know what you want
when you come around and spin my top time and again, time and again
No fire where I lit my spark
I am not afraid of the dark
Where your words devour my heart And put me to shame, put me to shame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I'm by your side
Dust from a distant sun will shower over everyone

Still so young to travel so far
Old enough to know who you are
Wise enogh to carry the scars
Without any blame, there's no one to blame
It's easy to forget what you learned
Waiting for the thrill to return
Feeling your desire burn
And drawn to the flame

When your seven worlds collide
Whenever I'm by your side
Dust from a distant sun will shower over everyone
Dust from a distant sun will shower over everyone

And I'm lying on the table Washed out in a flood
Like a Christian feeling vengeance from above
I don't pretend to know what you want But I offer love

Seven worlds will collide
Whenever I'm by your side
Dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

i have a excellent blog rolling around in my noggin ... which will include - but not be limited to the following topics

1. my most excellent weekend with my very favorite boys ever
2. my plans for the next weekend with my very favorite boys ever
3. wendy's trip to the ATL this week

and

last ( and least)

WHAT THE HOLYMARY

MOTHEROFFUCKME

JUMPEDUPJESUSCHRIST

is darius rucker doing in that burger king commercial?!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

imitation is the sincerest flattery
i stole this from Tasty because i admire her and because thats what the Numbers do.I

i stole that first line from #3tx ... again, cause that's what the numbers do.

I Live: in atlanta, fuckin' no moo
I Work: because i have to, i should be opening that spa right no
I Think: all the time. introspection isn't nearly all it's cracked up to be =)
I Smell: like stacey - she gave me her perfume
I Listen: to too many other people
I Hide: not as much as i used to
I Walk: alone
I Write: because it's what i want to do
I See: the real allie
I Sing: a LOT
I Can: make you laugh even when i am in a thousand pieces (and i can heal from that) ... again ditto with the christel
I Watch: my words
I Daydream: about owning my own spa or having my own cosmetics line oh and the book tour with the Numbers".
I Fall: to pieces not nearly as much as i used to
I Want: to be most pleased with me
I Cry: as soon as i see someone else cry
I Read: all the damn time ... anything i can get my hands on
I Love: me. finally.
I Rode: in #4wv's jive ass rv
I Sometimes: am scared to death that people will find the real me and hate her
I Fear: that i will let what other people think about me stop me from doing what i want
I Hope: that my loved ones know how much i love them.
I Eat: with chopsticks whenever possible
I Quit: trazadone
I Drink: sweet tea everyday of my life
I Play: not nearly enough
I Miss: too much to mention
I Forgive: me.
I Drive: other people crazy sometimes
I Dream: of christel and lauren having children
I Have: an amazing suppport group
I Remember: so that i won't do it again
I Don't: give myself the credit i give everyone else
I Believe: i create my reality with my thoughts and actions
I Owe: the universe to put back into it what others have given me
I Know: things happen for a reason
I Hate: hate ( and the dentist )
I Feel: lucky, blessed, hopeful, trusted, responsible, scared, excited, curious, ashamed, proud, and most of all loved. (ditto)

6:30 am + manicure scissors = new sweepy long bangs

and so far i like 'em.

good thing i'm REAL damn good with hair.


lola, you should totally do it

Ah,…goodgoddamn I love coffee in the morning and #3ky was talking yesterday about coffeegoddess’ crème brulee coffee – so you know that’s what I had to make this morning … it’s like having a little of christel in a mug …. Of course it would be even BETTER if someone would buy me this … but it’s still damn good.

So guess what I’ve done for the past 2 nights. Slept thru the night. WITHOUT MEDICATION. I’ve been tapering off on the nighttime drugs … and now I’m OFF of them – everyone please rise and commence to doing the happy dance… ( preferred tune: either Abba’s “waterloo” or Kool and the Gang’s “get down on it” )

I know I talk about my friends and how much I love them a whole bunch lot – but I never ever EVER wanna be one of those people that didn’t tell the people that I loved that I love them. I want there never to be any question about it …so Christine, my numbers, various queens, my Chicago connection, my beloved BELOVED boys in Charlotte, ann and da, I do love you all a whole bunch lot. I’ve also made some kickin “internet” friends, wendy ( who finally joined the slut club – I’ll give you your new member packet when I see you next week ), my blog guru ( the man who talks more freely about sex than even ME) se7en, mike ( who I think we should clone –cause damn he’s a sweetie ), and most surprisingly ( given our nasty situation last year ) my long tall Texan.

I’m really glad to see that I’m getting way back to happy allie. I’ve missed her, and she’s frekin great. I’ve had this wonderful ( and at times terrible ) ability to be the funny, silly, laughing girl even when I felt like crawling in a hole - for fear that my “friends” wouldn’t like the “real” me – but you know what – they do.

I’m the idiot for questioning me and them … but those days are over.

AND I am rocking ALL MANNER of glitter polish today….

….and newest sticker collection addition in the cube “ another bright blue dot in a really red state”

This is one of those days were I wish I could be in about 7 places at one time….i’d be
*home
*work (believe it or not, cause if there’s more than one of me, I might as well be getting work done)
*at the salon getting a manicure.
*at the beach reading a book Oceanside …

And most importantly …

I’d be in texas right now.

I hate that I live SO far away from someone that I want to hug so much my arms ache. One of my most favoriteist people in the entire universe .. the girl that I have said more than once that I love her so much that I would get in my car with mike and drive to her to give him to her if she needed it. ( and we know how much I love that 75lb shedding machine – so imagine the love…)


The only up side of any of this – is that I realize that I must be feeling better – because I have energy to give someone else –and I want nothing more than to do just that. I’m feeling a little guilty cause I’ve had the vibe for a few days to call her – but life got in the way…so know this sweet girl

I may have slacked in the calling – but I feel your vibe, and will do everything within and beyond my power to help you. anything you need, I’m a phone call and a few tanks of gas away. If you wanna giggle, I’m here. Wanna talk, I’m here. Wanna not talk, wanna watch a tv show together and talk tacky about people,I’m here.

Wherever,. Whenever, Whatever.

Cause “that” is how we roll.

Lemme tell you this. It will be ok. It will take a while. It will take tears, screams, slammed doors, tense moments, but you will be ok – it will be ok .. peas and carrots. You two go together like peas and carrots.

And we are back to Friday. Thank god. Cause this week has been a bit of a pain in the ass. Not like sitting on broken glass pain in the ass … but a pain nonetheless. I’m looking forward to the weekend, I am going to the office for a few hours tomorrow morning – but that’s just because I need to catch up on some stuff as I have had not one but TWO doctor’s appointments this week – that can really screw up a girls time …. But anyway.

Shawn is going to come see me next week – and that’ll be nice – he’s going off to desert training next weekend in california – the to Iraq shortly after … so … it’ll be good to see him… THEN the boys from Charlotte come down next weekend .. YAY and YAY we’re going all over the town – but especially to Crate & Barrel, The Flying Biscuit, Outwrite Bookstore, the Varsity, and the Vortex ( shiner’s and choker burgers anyone..anyone?) And then the following weekend – I’m going to charlotte to see them .. and then the following BRAVES OPENING GAME! I cannot wait to get to the stadium ( or the “ted” if you will ) have a beer or two and a real life disgusting hot dog … cause I want one damnit…should be a good couple of weeks – and hell, I deserve it.

So, it looks like that’s all for the moment – I’m sitting with hair color on the head – for a few more minutes ….. then off to the head shrinker. Lucky girl.

Love, me

P.S. – #3tx, thank you for being you. You’re amazing and I love you – I’m so proud that you call me friend.

and p.s.s. - i've listened to this song about 30 times today ... and it makes me happy ... and since i'm such a giver, i share with you..


HEY LOVE
words & music by jason mraz

Hey love, where you going to?
You're not sleeping anymore, you're just trying to.
Stay love, where you running to?
Awful happens all the time, don't let it kill you.

Easily with me I feel as fast as I can see...
Afraid of the horror stories I fall down on my knees.

Come away, come away.
From all these things unheard
If a chosen word has got you cornered
Then it's a lesson learned
Like close the book before it burns you.
Come away, come away.
From all these things unseen
At the price you paid I promise you won't believe anything they say
Belief will only disappoint you

In case you never noticed the path you never chose has chosen you.
Afraid to face and break it.
The secret.

or are you just happy to see me!!???

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY!!

i love this holiday, sure for the drinking, and the cute red-headed boys, but just for me that it means all fun all the time. in the past my girls and i have decended upon Jackson, Mississippi for the "million queen march" on ( or near ) st. pat's day ( cause you know - down here, we sometimes move holidays around for convenience's sake ) ... but not this year - or last year either - but i will hit a pub or two tonight and cocktail the evening away ... prepare ye for the dunk-n-dial.

Anyway – today is a good day so far – and for this I am thankful. DB’s son is returning to American soil today, home from war….welcome home #3ky’s cousin … you’re much loved!

Speaking of lola – thanks SO much for talking to me in the car – I was THIS close to calling him yesterday …. Your support and friendship is appreciated ( ps – your “stern” voice is pretty hot – just so you know) and and and it looks like I might be spending my birthday with Stacey – tattoos at 35 anyone? Yes, please. {until I chicken out}

What else … actually things are pretty calm today – I think the other day’s misunderstanding and hurt feelings are either patched up or on their way to it – so that makes me feel better … and so does this … I a birthday card years ago from my friends ann and dara – or maybe just ann – dara and I might have still been in our two years of discontent ( that’s another story for another day with a FANTASTIC ending. Thank God – yay for the big girl panties )

But I have the front of the card in my cube farm .. and I look at it everyday … it says

“ Tiaras,
crowns, and
cornets
were made to
show you off.

You are the dutchess
of everything today.

You have every reason
to strut.

Do just that.”
Maya Angelou


So me and my green eyed, red headed, green shirt wearing - family from Ireland a million years ago is going to take her walk … it’s a day to strut....oh oh oh and how could i forget - it's a time to shop too ...

go check this out ... how fantastic - buy me something, or get yo'ownself a little somethingsomething and you can be like us ..

sometimes the numbers talk in a sorta shorthand. one thing we say is instead of saying "i don't know" we say "not knowin"

this is how i feel about a lot of things.

i write in here because i want to - and it's really honest. sometimes i think too much. sometimes i open up way too much and get serious feelings involved when maybe it's not the best idea. but i refuse to be someone who doesn't play out of fear of getting hurt.

i write how i feel when i'm feeling it - i'm sure sometimes it's funnier than others, and sometimes a downer .. but sometimes that's how i feel. i got the vibe yesterday that others can feel badly about themselves then read my blog and feel really good about their station in life. that bothers me - cause what you are missing is the big picture. i'm a girl with depression. i'm a girl with some troubles. i'm not a depressed and troubled girl.

those are very different things.

i'm going thru some things - but the key word is THRU .... i'm actively taking steps to make things better - and i have more resources than anyone could dream of - from my best friend, to my AMAZING numbers, to my dear friend who i hurt with words last night, to my friend that i think of every single day, but stay away from cause it's a have to not a want to.

i have a good family, i have my own house ( 2 story brick thank you very much ), a dog who adores me, online friends, phone friends, cute boys to kiss on ... and a million other things.

i don't need or want you pity.

***********

and one more thing. i sometimes think my words don't come accross the way i intend them to in print unless you "know" me ... the cadence of my speech tells way more than the words. sometimes in print i seem serious when i'm joking, angry when i'm not... and prolly vice versa.

please give me the benefit of not intentionally being an ass hole. i'm sure i can be a ROYAL one ( cause really, anything having to do with a royal title - i'm for ) but i don't intend it ... and when i find out i've hurt someone - the sorrow and the tears i cry are real.

i'm sorry, and i love you.

So I guess in this blog – I’m ross … cheating the first day.

But I have a little hankering to write … the first thing I want to say is that if you haven’t read mike’s entry from yesterday, go do it. And if it doesn’t make you think – you’re dead inside and I feel sorry for you.

That being said – I think I was feeling a little sorry for my own self yesterday. I’m going thru a patch of lonely and if not disappointed … no it’s disappointed in a few people – but what’s really cool is sometimes when I feel that way the most – the universe sends me just what I need – just when I need it. Yesterday’s came in the form of an e-mail – and where I’m going to spare you and not post the whole thing – I did print it up and have it hanging in my cube farm … here is some of what it had to say ..

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!!

I liked that – it worked for me and said what I needed to hear at that moment ….not that everything is all skippy now. but at least it's not jiff. ( insert chuckle here )

Ok – on to other things …

First of all – I was driving to work this morning and there was another amber alert …
PEOPLE QUIT STEALING FUCKING KIDS…. DAMNIT.

And for a fun Friday – work a couple of blocks from the courthouse when someone has gone insane and decided to shoot a judge and a deputy or two … and a court reporter, and a customs agent, and pistol whip a person or two on the way … can you say lockdown ….
And then on Monday have all the people talk about how “hot” the suspect was … and when I ask them to reconsider finding the rapist/murderer/felon hot … I am informed that I simply “have never had any ghetto thug lovin”

I can’t argue that.

we're on a break.

i got nothing ... and i'ma go away for a while.

if you need me, call or write cocktailsandsmokes@yahoo.com

does your radio statin play that song on friday mornings? i had never heard of it - until my best friend moved to colorado and when she came back - i would get that song sung to me on friday mornings .. and i noticed the other day - that one station here plays that song - they should really be shot - it's too early for that kinda perky.

there have been some big changes at work... and it sorta sucks, and is sorta ok - but i don't talk about work here ... so i'll carry on...

i do have to go to the dermatologist this morning - which is always a thrill, usually i don't mind that appointment one bit - but today she wants to do the yearly cancer scan....um, not today sister - feel NO desire to slap on the gown and have somone scan over every inch of me and someone else stand there and take notes ...."freckle on upper right arm, scratch on left forearm, .... again, verily i say unto you not today sister .... just write the script and let me outta here.

i'm having a really hard time coming up with things to write this past week or so, i don't know if this is a sign that my blogging experience might be nearing it's end, or that things have been so busy for me - that i don't have non work things to talk about, or what ... but hopefully the funny will return ... or i might go on hiatus for a while....

but until that kinda decision is made .. have a great weekend - i have the 2nd dog this weekend again - and i LOVE that...so even if there is no date...there are dogs!

You Belong in 1973

1973 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

I have learned to write in Word instead of directly in blogger after you know what happened to you know who again today ( shut up tiny )

What I remember of what I had written was mostly crap – with a few jewels thrown in there – let’s see what the ol’ melon will remember …..

*****
I’m feeling a whole bunch lot better lately – and for that I thank the find people of lily and the amazing properties found in prozac. I’m not crying as much – and when I do, I can STOP … I’m making actual decisions and not going to the meltdown place …. I can see the “real” allie again …. She’s peeking thru – and we LOVE that.

Let’s see what else … I’m watching mike’s brother this weekend and mike will stay with them when I go to charlotte to see my very favorite gay boyfriends EVER – and I’ve had lots of gay boyfriends. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve these two ( and they have 2 other couples that they’re friends with sittin on the on deck circle for boyfriend ) …and if you’re ever lucky enough to meet them prepare to laugh until you pee just a little bit, and walk away with HUGE crushes! And we’re going to gay bingo so try to top that for fun … laughing, disco music, and a tax write off … top that – you can’t …. So there.

And it’s another Jason Mraz day ( well duh, I’m awake right?! ) and I’m working on some kick ass chai in my “the stupid factory…where boys are made” mug from lola …. So really, things could be a way whole lot worse! AND AND AND my girl scout cookie order came in…. and I look cute today … so really – things are good. I’m hoping the spring in my step will be noticed by people of the penis persuasion soon…we’ll see.

The whole blog thing is weird – it used to be really easy for me to have topics at hand to write about .. and now lately not so much ….so I realize this is pretty much crap – and I’m ok with that cause it’s my blog … and I can do what I want. If only all of life was that easy – cause what I want now is nachos and beer. Well really any food that ends with “and beer” works for me – I realize it’s 10:24 in the morning and I’m supposed to be making smarter food choices .. but really – we all need to up our liquid take – and I choose beer as my liquid … ew, that sounded gross – but whatever.

So this is a hack entry – but go here I’m still pissed that she’s that damn funny – I hate it when people are funnier than me – but whatever – alls I know is the babyjesus WILL be going with me to get a tattoo…and also go here, judd is just the coolest. He’s alive. Like a grown ass man - i wonder can we send boys to him for training ... i'll pay in beer and dog food - how's that? Does that make sense? He’s good people … and I’m hoping that when he flies to see the love of his life – he stops over in Atlanta and let’s me buy him a couple hundred overpriced airport beers.

hang on - cause i got nothing, let's see what happens with the combo of coffee ( in the mug #3ky ) gave me, wearing the lipgloss that #3tx gave me, sitting and looking at the framed motivational-type saying #5 gave me, and thinking about #4 cause i didn't talk to her last night and that's just plain werid ..

ok - breaking news, i heard on the radio this morning that air tran has started flying to INDY .. and i can book a flight for $79 each way - yeah, you read that right ... guess where i'm going this summer frye, bueller,anyone!?!??!?!?!
****
i haven't talked to LTT - so it's obvious he's found love and ditched his friend ( over-react much - no i don't so shut up)
****
i have to go to the dermatologist this week - cause evidently i can't let more than 2 weeks go by without SOME kinda co-pay
****
i have decided that for my next car - i wanna get a pink convertible VW bug - i know it's totally silly, and probably not the wise-est move moneywise - but damnit i want one
****
i'm going to charlotte in a few weeks to see my favorite gay boyfriends ever - and while i'm there i'm getting new contacts and new glasses .... expect a sexy cat eye look soon.
****
for anyone who's been in the service ( or parents of ) i wanna send a little something to shawn, he's still in the states - but at training for Iraq - any ideas?
****
i have slept thru the night for 3 fucking weeks in a fucking row - i haven't done that since - well ever.
****
i need to clean my house
****
i had yogurt for breakfast - i should be hungry again in about 20 minutes
****
i think it's quite possible cosmo-tini and the numbers were seperated at birth
****
i'm pretty sure it's another day of all Mraz all the time...
****
and some answers
1. red
2. pantyhose
3. a month ago
4. 117 at last count - could change even today
5. 2 per day
6. since before christmas
7. twice
8. purple
9. stacey
10. 19

that's all i got.

They say you can never go home again.

Well strangely – or maybe not, enough I bought a house about 4 years ago that is approximately 10 miles ( maybe, probably less ) from the house I lived in from the time I was 9 until 21. My parents then moved to a town about 15 miles north of my cozy metro atlanta suburb (yes, i'm a full on suburb gal - hard to tell huh =).

Traffic was especially bad this afternoon – and I decided to hop off of the interstate since I know every back road on this side of town. Although I currently live really close to where I grew up – I don’t visit over there very much. Today I just took my time – and drove by the apartments I lived in before I bought my house, past the neighborhood of my best friend from childhood’s house and thought about how much time I used to spend there, the church parking lot where I learned how to parallel park in a 5 speed, my elementary school, middle school, and high school, I decided to take that 2nd left – and go into my old neighborhood. What I saw broke my heart, and when I got to my old house – all I could do was sit in front of her and cry.

When I lived there – it was a brand new – middle to upper middle class neighborhood. Serious beaver cleaver time. Moms stayed home with the kids, and dad’s worked outside the home, streets were safe. Cul-de-sacs were covered in chalk, all the kids were about my age – we all walked to school together, lawns were manicured, …. I mean I’m sure there was the neighborhood alcoholic, adulterer, and abuser - but from the surface – things looked great. And truth be told – they kinda were …

As I drove into the neighborhood I was stunned. ALL the houses needed painting – and a SERIOUS visit from chemlawn, and there was actually a car in a driveway with a tarp on it. I went up the big hill – and there’s a stop sign there – I ran the SHIT outta that thing…. Then I made the left into my old cul-de-sac. And my heart dropped to my feet - then thru the bottom of the car. The wonderful yard my parents worked tirelessly on – destroyed. They put up some kinda slap ass fence and put a trampoline in the front fucking yard ( evidently the homeowner’s association dissolved ) … She hasn’t been painted in years There were real life black trash bags on the front porch., The same porch that I used to say goodnight to boys on and kiss them before my dad flicked the porch lights… the beautiful lattice work – and gabillion ferns on the porch were gone… where the flower garden was , child’s plastic playfort. Her lovely screened in porch where I spent countless Saturdays reading books had holes in it – and the some of the wooden trim on it was missing…..I looked at the window where my room used to be, the room where my friends and I listened to hours of Duran Duran, INXS, Culture Club, and the Thompson Twins, where we had slumber parties, practiced dancing, talked about boys – and more than once ( like a gabillion times ) had my father come in there and say girls PLEASE hold it down, or come in and say – “allie, you have been on the phone for HOURS, get off the phone and go to bed” , and the blinds were bent and all mashed in – I can only imagine what the inside looks like – it was so sad, she was just a shell of her former self, I just had to cry – she deserved so much better than that When I was a kid – I was SO proud of that house – I was always proud to have someone come over and see the neighborhood where I live …

I don’t think I’ll be going there again anytime soon.

ALSO stolen without regret!


stolen from #5 Stolen from Devilboss, who stole from others...


The X's are the things I have done!

(X) snuck out of the house
(X) gotten lost in your city (not marietta, but yes in atlanta!)
(X) saw a shooting star
( ) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas - Sunday - no bra or panties either =)
(X) kissed a stranger
(X) hugged a stranger/kissed one too!
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
(X) done drugs
(X) had alcohol
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(X) made out in an elevator
( ) slept in an elevator
(X) swore at your parents
( ) kicked a guy where it hurts - i thought this said "kiss" and i was all "fuckin' duh
(X) been in love (Mostly with Stacey Christel Lola and Mary)
(X) been close to love - i'm in a serious platonic love right now that i hope lasts a long time!
(X) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving (Not yet!)
(X) broken a bone
(X) been high
(X) skinny-dipped
(X) skipped school (Only in college.)
(X) flashed someone - real recently
(X) saw a therapist - how else would i get all this prozac
(X) done the splits - i might not be able to now - but i'm REAL bendy
(X) played spin the bottle
(X) gotten stitches - and 2 cute little scars to prove it
(X) had an IV
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (GAG!)
(X) bitten someone (Just in bed!)
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(X) gotten the chicken pox
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex - hopin' to tonight!
(X) kissed a member of the same sex (Duh!)
( ) crashed into a friend's car - no, but christine's husband crashed into mine!
( ) been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(X) been fired
(X) had a crush on someone of the same sex (All the numbers for sure!)
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - more than i'd like to talk about
( ) stole something from your job
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend - i believe that some lies are ok - like when you're in a bad place - but they call you with a crisis to talk about- you say you're fine - so you can be there for them
(X) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans (Not yet!!!)
( ) been to Europe
(X) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced (both times.)
( ) had children
( ) saw someone die
( ) been to Africa
(X) Driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire (No, but have set a lawn on fire.)
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(X) Met someone in person from the internet. (Some of my best friends and dates, too.)
(X) Been moshing at a rock show
( ) Cut yourself on purpose
( ) Been to a moto cross show
( ) lost a child
(X) gone to college
(X) graduated from college
( ) done hard drugs
( ) tried killing yourself
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now

I hope everyone has a great weekend ...
love it, live it, kiss it, smack it.
allie

i realize this isn't a real entry ... but jimmy crack corn - and i don't care ....

i am having a full on MRAZ day ...
*AND AND AND*
monday april 4th he'll be in athens - anyone wanna go with???



SLEEPING TO DREAM
words by jason mraz music by jason mraz & peter stuart

I'm dreaming of sleeping next to you I'm feeling like a lost little boy in a brand new town
I'm counting my sheep and each one that passes is another dream to ashes
and they all fall down.

As I lay me down tonight,
I close my eyes and what a beautiful sight

I'm sleeping to dream about you
I'm so tired of having to live without you
So I'm sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

I found myself in the riches (Your eyes, your lips, your hair.) Well you were everywhere
But I woke up in the ditches. I hit the light and I thought you might be here
but you were nowhere. You were nowhere at home.

As I lay me back to sleep
Lord I pray that I can keep

Sleeping to dream about you
I'm so tired of having to live without you
So I'm sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

(It's just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night.)

Sleeping to dream about you
I'm so tired of having to live without you
So I'm sleeping to dream about you and I'm so tired

© Jason Mraz :: All Rights Reserved

i'm in such a good place today it's almost scary .... but it's not.

get this, i have slept thru the night for over a week - take that motherfuckers! this is a HUGE deal - i haven't done that since like 12th grade - and for those of you doing the math - that was 17 years ago ( oh my damn that was painful to type .... ) i got a haircut ( or hairscut if you will ) last night - and while it always seems a little short the next day - it actually looks pretty good ... and i know i talk about hair a lot ... but here the deal ..... fat girls can't loose a ton of weight overnight .... but we can make DAMN sure our clothes, hair, nails, and makeup is/are flawless .... it helps me with the cute feelings..

i listened to Mr. Mraz while driving to work this morning ... i have such a full on crush on that boy with the tragic hair .... his words make me happy. and i saw funny things in traffic

*a "support our troops" ribbon ( there's a ribbon story coming later - if LTT doesn't steal it) ...and i'm all about supporting our troops - one friend devilboss has a son returning from Iraq soon - and my friend Shawn goes over soon .... BUT i'm assuming while they mean all the troops - they mean specifically the troops in Iraq ( etc ) and the ribbon was the traditional green camo ... and not desert camo .......

* i saw a "fire safety and prevention" van with a guy smoking in it ....

* i saw another company's van that was obviously very new and very expensive - and the lettering was crooked.

* and one more, a truck advertising a concrete company ... called concreat. ( um.. huh?)


and this ... this made me laugh until the point of pain. enjoy. ( walks away shaking head ... white people .... poor poor white people )

You're Brigitte Bardot!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by http://www.quizilla.com/

OK- I’m irritated.

I had a great entry typed up … and like a mo – I typed it in blogger … and (can you see where this is headed?) blogger ate it. … So this is my feeble attempt at remembering what I wrote …..

As most of you probably know – I’m a fall and winter girl. For someone who has lived in the buckle of the bible belt her whole life – I have great affection for snow….and as the jonquils have started blooming … the tulips are sprouting and dogwoods are starting to get buds … I totally thought spring was on it’s way … and I know this makes no sense to most anyone …. But while I like the look of spring … I sorta hate it too – cause I know it means summer is coming and I hate the hot ….but anyway …… I’m digressing already.

Last night I talked to LTT for a while – then I got to talk to #3TX for a while, and managed to get thru the entire conversation without crying – cause I miss her already – so that rocks! Then I talked to my girl Stacey for a while … and off to pharmaceutically enhanced slumber.

And when I woke up this morning – Mother Nature has kissed the trees, and lawns with this light dusting of snow. It took my breath away…I know many of you live where there is snow all the time and it sucks for you – but where I live – we almost never get it – and it’s ( for me at least ) a most invited friend. Mike and I went out and played in it for a while … and that was so cute and sweet to watch – I’m pretty sure I got a cavity from it ……..


But back to last night…and the chats. Here it is…. I had much discussion with people of the penis and non-penis variety …. About relationships and sex and what we were all looking for….it really became clear to me – I might have guys that are “friends …we all know what I’m talking about here” but what I’m looking for right now is more of a friend and companion. I’d love to find “the” guy … but while I’m working on getting my depression and anxiety under control (which seems to be going pretty well – I seem to have my big girl panties on more often than not ) … what I’m looking for at the moment is some companionship and affection – I don’t mean sexual affection ( although I wouldn’t throw that away either ) I want someone to talk to ( in the same room with me) to tell me it’s gonna be ok – to gimme that big bear hug and let me cry on their shoulders if need be ….and I wanna be that for someone for someone else too.

Any takers?