OK- I’m irritated.
I had a great entry typed up … and like a mo – I typed it in blogger … and (can you see where this is headed?) blogger ate it. … So this is my feeble attempt at remembering what I wrote …..
As most of you probably know – I’m a fall and winter girl. For someone who has lived in the buckle of the bible belt her whole life – I have great affection for snow….and as the jonquils have started blooming … the tulips are sprouting and dogwoods are starting to get buds … I totally thought spring was on it’s way … and I know this makes no sense to most anyone …. But while I like the look of spring … I sorta hate it too – cause I know it means summer is coming and I hate the hot ….but anyway …… I’m digressing already.
Last night I talked to LTT for a while – then I got to talk to #3TX for a while, and managed to get thru the entire conversation without crying – cause I miss her already – so that rocks! Then I talked to my girl Stacey for a while … and off to pharmaceutically enhanced slumber.
And when I woke up this morning – Mother Nature has kissed the trees, and lawns with this light dusting of snow. It took my breath away…I know many of you live where there is snow all the time and it sucks for you – but where I live – we almost never get it – and it’s ( for me at least ) a most invited friend. Mike and I went out and played in it for a while … and that was so cute and sweet to watch – I’m pretty sure I got a cavity from it ……..
But back to last night…and the chats. Here it is…. I had much discussion with people of the penis and non-penis variety …. About relationships and sex and what we were all looking for….it really became clear to me – I might have guys that are “friends …we all know what I’m talking about here” but what I’m looking for right now is more of a friend and companion. I’d love to find “the” guy … but while I’m working on getting my depression and anxiety under control (which seems to be going pretty well – I seem to have my big girl panties on more often than not ) … what I’m looking for at the moment is some companionship and affection – I don’t mean sexual affection ( although I wouldn’t throw that away either ) I want someone to talk to ( in the same room with me) to tell me it’s gonna be ok – to gimme that big bear hug and let me cry on their shoulders if need be ….and I wanna be that for someone for someone else too.