and to also work in my love of the list .....

(background info - a friend of mine and i used to make a list of "things that suck" everything from seeing a bug at your favorite restaurant, to noticing there's no toilet paper - 30 seconds too late ....to finding out someone you love has been thru something awful)

well - i feel that lately i have been so spun up in my own depression and anxiety attacks that i have not been the best friend possible. i tell my friends everytime i talk to them that i love them - but maybe they don't know why.... i know this list won't begin to cover all the reasons or the people - but it's a good start.


so here's a list of people i love and some of the reasons why ( besides the fact that they are on the planet and in my life - that is really all i need....but here goes )

1. my best friend christine - she is a fantastic woman that i adore. she has stood by me thick and thin - and was able to be strong, risk losing our frienship completly to do for me what i could not do myself. i loved her and liked her before .... we've said that we considered each other family for years .... but today i realize to my bones that she IS my sister. and i'm forever thankful that we're friends ( and i think it's HYSTERICAL that my best friend is a super conservative, gun toting, talk radio listening, military wife .... cracks my ass straight off)

2. the numbers - christel, lauren, mary, and stacey.
christel - this woman makes me laugh every time we speak. she sat on the orange chair in my house one weekend morning while i sat on the sofa and spoke about fears and concerns that i had never mentioned to anyone ... out of fear. and she was totally and completly accepting of me. she's been able to be strong when i couldn't be. and what's even better - she trusts me with her fears and concerns too - i just wish she didn't have better hair than me.

lauren - i cannot count the number of times i have cried to lauren on the phone. she's even cried with me. i was in a really inappropriate relationship that lauren would listen to me talk, laugh, cry, vent about - and she let me be. didn't try to make me wrong .... didn't try to fix it, just let me say it. now this is a woman who has her own fair share ( and then some ) of shit going on - and she's always had time and love for me.... i adore her. and she adores me - how cool is that?

mary - mary is my holly homemaker on crack soul mate. it's amazing i didn't know i had family in west by god - but i sure do ... i have family there in mary.we've both been there for each other time and time again. in my nightly prayers - i thank God that she's in my life. and i ask Him to help her with her amazing snoring

stacey - my stacey. the object of such a girl crush i can't even begin to start talking about it. she never fails to snort at my jokes, play along with any scheme i have going on - and loves a good flash. she's not scared to be a voice of reason to tell me i'm acting like an ass or not in my best good.....she loves me enough to call me on my shit....and i love her enough to know what she says is true

3. my long tall texan - after a bumpy start he has become an amazing friend. i have no fear in telling him about me - all of it - the good and the not so good. i've let him in as close as i have my girlfriends...and he's all man to me. i hate that we have that brotherly/sisterly love going on ... but that's just the way it should be.

4. ann and dara - girls we've been thru it huh? we've been ( literally ) to hell and back. and we're still thick as theives. please know that i love, respect, like, and appreciate you. you're my very favorite lesbians .... "who want's pie?" and not that kind pie for y'all that don't know the story

5. that boy that occupied my mind for most of the past year - i thank you for reminding me that i can love again. that's some cool shit to realize....and to quote ms. badu .... I guess i'll see you next lifetime.

6. my mary - champie is a damn good friend. she's been there for me time and time again ... and hopefully i've been there for her too....and and and - she sends my dog presents ... come on does it GET better than that? no it doesn't.

7. my friend tracy from work - who makes me laugh out loud everyday - and when i'm having a bad day - sings me that song that makes me happy...so yay you.

8. seven - for the schexy blog layout ... love it.

9. my new blog friends - aren't we the best group of cooks out there?!

10. and me. i'm thankful for me, cause even on my worst day - i'm pretty fuckin great.


11. and oh my damn ... how did i POSSIBLY leave chaz and greg off this list? i love them both SO much it's almost painful. i would do ANYTHING for those two. i love you both so much = and can't wait to see you again.