So today I really don’t have anything to say .. and at the very least I don’t have anything funny at the moment. Not that I have anything particuarily sad either…I’m just sort of in the quiet thinking place – but I promised that I would write daily.
I’ve had a million changes and challenges this week – that really only the #’s and one other friend know about …. It’s been a very emotional/growing/challenging/horrible/and hope filled week ( and jeebus – it’s only Wednesday )
But that’s ok too – I had an assessment today with a new counselor – I have to go back on Friday to have my meds adjusted … seems crying all the time and not sleeping has returned…so some tweaking needs to be done – I’m a little scared of that …a little embarrassed…and a little pissed at God, that I can’t handle my life right now. I get the whole ‘ if you had a different disorder, you wouldn’t feel bad to have to take the meds” … and I totally agree with that but I’m still irritated.
I had lunch with my mom after and she was trying very hard not to pry into what’s going on with me…and asked if this was the kind of therapist that blamed everything on the mother - ….. ( insert your own comment here @@) and when she asked about my anxiety/panic attacks or depression … she asked if that just wasn’t a part of life – that cycles of highs and lows happen…fuckin’ duh.
But other than that - I’m pretty good at the moment – I’m feeling sorta crafty – I have the twitching to go to the bead store and see what I can create … momma is needing some new bracelets and necklaces …and I’m loving having the 2 dogs at the house- I’m gonna miss the other one when his daddy comes back home.
I hope my girls are home tonight. I’m gonna need ‘em. I can tell