Monday, February 21, 2005
making an effort

Sunday 02/20/05

i always feel this need to blog daily. and honestly, i'm not sure why. maybe it's the idea of having an "audience" maybe it's because in every entry there's a little nugget of me that i need to get out. maybe it's the fear of not writing and people stop reading ... i dunno.

but i'm making an effort to find out. i'm making an effort to do a lot of things. i need to be more honest with me, and let the chips fall where they may. i belive in not making other people act in your drama, getting rid of people who make you crazy, and clinging tightly to those i love. i'm also making more of an effort in me. i'm saying "no" more often. i'm taking care of me....and i'm doing silly little things that will make me feel prettier - when i feel pretty i seem to be able to throw off the blahs a little easier.

i put myself out there on a couple of dating sites ... and seem to attract - UGH. not so much. i'm also ready to put myself out there to look for different work....and i'm totally considering moving away to do so. North Carolina is always an option - especially charlotte or asheville...i was talking about someone to aunt tasty the other day about ruts ... and i think i'm in one. i need new. i also believe the universe provides us with what we wish for - so be VERY careful about what you put out there...

Monday 02/21/05

ok, so obviously i started working on this last night....i had one of those afternoons where i went from great to tears in about 3 seconds over something i did what i usually do whenthat happens - put myself di-rectly in the shower ... i'm such a water baby...lakes, pools, oceans, rivers, hot tubs, bath tubs - they all seem to have a direct relation to the peace of my soul .... so i guess things could be worse - cause even when things suck before i get in - and often suck when i get out .... while i'm in the shower .... things are super good.

so i'm work on a holiday - we can work this day and take some other day as a floating holiday ... so i'll be floating- prolly in april when i go to see my favorite gay boyfriends in the world ..... it's coldish - and rainy - and the PERFECT day to be sleeping and reading ... but i can't - so i'm blogging before i get my day rolling- cause i don't feel the energy to work quite yet .... but i'm working on mug 2 of coffee ... and maybe i'll feel awake soon.

so i guess this is a rambling entry to say things are sorta icky here - but i'm trying to make the best of them. if they get too much worse - i'm taking this blog private so you don't have to listen to my bitching and complaining.

posted by Allie @ 2/21/2005 08:50:00 AM


At 8:58 AM, Blogger M'Ary* said...

I love your bitching.

I'm sorry I woke you up last night. I was worried when I called the house phone and no one answered. We'll have a summit tonight and you can tell me yours and I'll tell you about my trip to the lawyer. Deal? And then we'll take a shower. Did I tell you I got a shower massager for UnValentine's Day?

ALSO, you have bitchin' good hair today. And Joey says to tell you he's off to fight crime but he loves you and how's Mike.

At 9:16 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

no problem about last night - i was jut THRU with the day and took the sleeping pill early to get the day overwith ....

i love you sweet pea.

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Tasty said...

I love you, miss girl. I was on the phone for the whole 3 hours in the car last night coming home. Beth and the family wanna meet you, now, you know!

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Tasty said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:28 AM, Blogger Senior Thinking said...

vent away, is why we are here

At 11:24 AM, Blogger ajhsdgjahs said...

Yes, vent away. I ma into the listening mode right now!!! I am glad to callyou friend as well girl! We live too close to not try and do a visit!

At 11:26 AM, Blogger ajhsdgjahs said...

Could I have possibly been more sloppy with that last comment? I had my nails put back on so I am trying to get used to typing again! AARRGGHH!!

At 11:47 AM, Blogger *L'ola said...

i love your bitching too. in fact, i require it as often as possible. i love you more than i can possibly contain in my shriveled little heart. you know there's always a place for you and Mike here in the Sixth Ring of Hell. BIL is on his way out of my permanent address so we can redecorate your room accordingly. And we can always entertain ourselves by throwing things at Grandmonster. I'm just sayin'...

At 11:47 AM, Blogger Champagnelady59 said...

Honey, know that you are loved. What ever is going to make YOU happy then go for it.

At 12:34 PM, Blogger amy said...

hey, you are the FRIEND i mentioned in today's blog for telling me about the book. hugs**inky

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Senior Thinking said...

prolly in, PROLLY IN?

Yoda says, there is no try, only do or don't do.

You have until Friday to enter, I await your continued genius.

At 1:36 PM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

ok ok i'm in ... i just have to figure out what that mownt was and ow to present it.


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