Friday, October 29, 2004
if you like pork

...not in the tornado variety ....you'd love my office today.my office offered early retirement to lots of people to avoid layoffs ...and today is the last day for several people in my unit. ..and we're having a big ass breakfast.now i have to admit - one of the best things about this group is that we EAT. like every other week we'll do some sort of covered dish lunch - or breakfast - or ice cream party or something ....but today is breakfast. and in the south...that means pork. bacon, sasuage, ham, pork chops, pork hash, red eye gravy, and probably pork enfused coffee ....if you don't eat pork - this translates to the office smelling like ass.

now, i'll admit that the last month or so - i've been the world's worst vegetarian i've been eating shrimp like it's going out of style - and digging on the sushi .... and i'll admit - a sacred cow or two has had to die ...... but i still can't bring myself to the pork place ... and i'm now surrounded .... totally and completly by it... and mind if i say ick.
posted by allie @ 10:53 AM





Thursday, October 28, 2004
Moment of Panic this morning....

wow ... for a moment there i forgot my password to this here blogger thing ... and the panic almost set in. wait, that's a lie. the panic did set in ... but then i got it back and all is well.i was trying to think of a "topical" entry instead of my normal stream of though ... or lack of thought ... entries .... but seeing as how i got like NO sleep last night .... and have the subsequent headache this morning .... i'm not sure how topical i'm willing to be.i have been doing a lot of blog surfing during my lunch hour lately .... and wow, there are some strange - and some excellent - and some crappy ones out there .... i'd love to list my favorites - but alas, i'm a computer ninny ... and don't know how to link them. there is one site where this woman posts her poetry...it's both heartbreaking and beautiful...sad and sexy...she writes things i'd love to say to him...and things i'd love him to say to me ....i hope she doesn't mind me posting her link:

http://adriannesmelancholia.blogspot.com/

so i was thinking ....you know what i want right now? to lay down next to him curled up all spooned in the bed and have him behind me and kiss my naked shoulder while we tell each other the secrets we've been too scared to say out loud before.doesn't that sound better than working.i can't wait to meet that guy. but i can wait. i have time.

ok - so i'm adding more to this right now - i'm feeling very sappy, but also content in the sap. the feeling is more looking forward to the love than a painful longing for it...i'm looking forward to the affection, and the warm fuzzies, and the way he's going to smell, and the feel of "his smile pressed against mine" and warming my feet on his, and drinking coffee together, and catching him looking at me ... and when i ask "what"...he says something like "i'm just glad you're here", i'm looking forward to making his very favorite meal, just because, and to him taking my face in his palms and gently kissing my lips, all sweet and salty...to holding hands in church...to having "our song", to the random voice mails that just say "i was thinking about you allie, can't wait to see you again" ... to the fighting and the making up .... to the making love, making a home, making a family, making 2 lives become 1 ... i already love him, he already loves me....now we just need to meet, re-meet, or somehow find each other .... can you imagine how GREAT that day will be??
posted by allie @ 9:13 AM



Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Git yer Flirt on....

First, I really do hope that as y’all read that title you read it in Missy Elliott style …

just my little hope for the day.Anyhow, my beloved friend Wendy ( who can be found at http://wendyrules.diaryland.com/ ) got me thinking about one of my favorite topics. Flirting.I’ll admit it – I’m a total flirt … to steal a line from Todd ( cause GOD knows he’s stolen hundreds from me ) I’m a shameless flirt. I flirt with everything and almost everyone. I almost never really mean it ( note the “almost” ) there. Sometimes the flirt is just extended eye contact – or touching someone while I talk to them … sometimes it’s full on sorta quasi sexy talk … just cause it’s fun.But thinking about this made me wonder … does it get people in trouble – like thinking the flirt is serious….. and when I ponder it - I’m betting more women take it seriously than men do. Then men I flirt with seem to know it’s a joke, or lighthearted, or only sorta serious. I’ve heard some women talking after they were flirting…and they said things, like “I hope he didn’t think I was serious” or “ I was playing, but he was serious”UM, no he wasn’t. He was playing along.

You can tell when it’s real, it feels totally different – and if you can’t tell the difference – you’re either dead on the inside … or he’s a psychopath- and actually either is quite possible.I mean flirting is just plain fun. Take this morning for example, I was walking from the break room to my teeny wee cubicle ( which Jack calls a “cuticle” … we love that) and there were 2 men standing in the hall way – so I spoke and said, “look at this - 2 gorgeous boys for me to look at first thing in the morning – how’d I get so lucky” … to which one replied “ the question is, how can I get lucky” …… that my friends is called playing along … made me laugh – and we all know I love the laugh.

It can get painful when the flirt is only sorta a flirt – like when you mean EVERY thing you say – but you know it will never happen due to life, situation, whatever … but even then it’s still sorta fun.So ladies, fling your hair, apply lipgloss, touch then on the arm when you’re talking to them, and say something tacky … that could be taken as a comment or have a sexy-ish meaning…and enjoy the flirt back.It’s just flirting. Fun. Playing. Silliness.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004
There are worse ways to spend a Monday night.

Ok so there I was.

I love stories that start that way. Anyhow, so last night I got home from work… and really needed a glass of wine, and if one glass is good – two is better right? I thought so too .. so I called “G” and sang Aerosmith to her – cause that’s what I do … then Christine called and we decided to go get some dinner at the local most excellent Mexican joint down the street … so fish tacos for two please…but no more alcohol … cause not eating and two GIGANTULAR glasses of wine … make allie silly ….

So anyway I was determined that someone was going to make out with me last night – and since Stacey totally refused to put her ass in the car and come see me ( nevermind the fact that neither one of us is gay or interested in women notwithstanding ) I decided to call that sweet man who I went out with a couple of times and he was too shy to kiss me – and I asked him if he wanted to come over and make out.Since he’s a normal red blooded American boy – of course he said yes …. And I spent the better part of the evening making out of the sofa …. Do you have any idea how much I like making out on the sofa not sex, not all that… just making out …MAN!

And I’m good at it too just so you know …. But this morning – I have beard burn … that’s not cute … men I can’t say this enough…even if you shave in the morning – if a girl ( ie ME ) says “wanna come over and make out” shave again please …consider this a friendly neighborly service message from your favorite allie …The best part was when my personal testosterone level kicked in…and I went to the boy “I’m done … it’s time for you to go” place … wasn’t cranky or mean about it at all- but I was at the place where I just wanted to kiss and cuddle, we did that and I was done … and in the immortal words of Deter … “ your penis has grown tiresome” …. So we said our good byes ….

We’re going out this weekend…..and I reverted to my 14 year old self and called Stacey to give her the report.Although I don’t think I told her one of the things he said to me – it’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard from a man. And most women will totally get this … I had my head on his chest and he was playing with my hair and said

your hair feels so good in my hands … and it smells SO good.

Ok, game over.

Kiss me now.

Don’t say another word to screw this moment up.

Just kiss me.
posted by allie @ 9:12 AM



Sunday, October 24, 2004
easy like sunday morning.

*** i'm just adding mondays information to the bottom of sunday's post .. cause i'm still basking in the glow of sunday ***


ok - so i've used this title before SO WHAT?!?

anyway - this has been just the best day so far.

FINALLYA day where i had no deeds to do and no promises to keep....feelin' groovy.

So, I bailed on church this morning - and mike the wonderdog let me sleep until after 9 am .... it was johnny #5 who woke me up ...and yay to him for that.....THEN i made a ginormous pot of coffee and sat in the living room with the windows open and a good book ... then long shower for me, pj's BACK on thank you very much ... Much Ado About Nothing was on one of those silly Encore stations - so I watched that, then Valmont came on ... YUM! love the english boys .... love the fancy schmancy movie....AND - triple chocolate chip cookies ..... then mike got a bath .... followed by a mani and pedi for allie ... dont' be jealous of me - actually do be jealous - if i wasn't me, i'd be jealous.

OK, I have to get on the apology bus. I think i was prolly over the line snarky to pete ... and I'll take the hit for that - maybe we can still be friends, maybe not - but i'm sorry for name calling - was inappropriate.

I am off to do some napping since i was so very very busy ( HAH ) this morning .... if i play my cards right - it will be time to get up right when it's dinner ... could be worse.again, sorry for being harsh .... and mad love to all ... some i have some sisterly love some - some it's a little naughtier - you know what catagory you fall into!!

Love,ME!

i really hate that i had a cool ps on here and it got eaten by the blogger people- so i'm gonna try to recreate it ... good luck to me so as if today wasn't already excellent - they are showing sleepless in seattle and you have mail on tv ... i managed to take another bath ( i now have the softest feet in the universe ) ... mike got a bath so he smells like lavender .... pete accepted my apology like a grown ass man...and he gets MAD respect for that...and i now understand what he was saying earlier....and because of his mature behavior - i'm TOTALLY showing him my boobs!!!

MONDAY

Good morning my people ... i'm still so jazzed up about sunday - i ended up taking ANOTHER bubble bath ... and watching Desperate Housewives last night ... that's a most excellent way to end a weekend i must say....And I somehow JUST realized Halloween was in fact THIS weekend ... where have I been?! I mean my house is all tackied up ( yes, that's a word ) .... I just need to gather pennies together and go buy some candy .... and i'm sorry folks, it's gonna be cheap candy this year - i remember the first year i moved out of my parents house - i bought real size hershey bars .... but i lived in an apartment and NO ONE came ... foolish foolish mortals.... now i'm a homeowner and broke as a joke - so they're gonna be stuck with dumdums and tootsie rolls. I live in a pretty nice neighborhood - and they actaully bus kids in....cracks me up - but for me- halloween trick or treating is for the kids - and by 8:30- i'm turning the lights off and headed to my neighbors for some drinking ... cause that's what a grown up halloween is about.But riddle me this, WHO gives out rasins for halloween - those people deserve whatever happens to them.... RASINS?!?! sheesh!
posted by allie @ 3:01 PM


Friday, October 22, 2004

it's a good damn day

so it started as a potentially crappy day ( ie - allie slept late, like WAY late...like - wow - do i have time to shower late )but as we all know - allie is NOT the kinda girl to leave the house unshowered ...
unless it's for a midnight krispy kreme or waffle house run...... ( sidebar - it cracks me up referring to myself as allie ... instead of me or i )

ANYWAY ... i get it together shower, shave, hair, makeup yadda yadda yadda ... leave the house a minute or two late ... BUT the traffic gods smiled upon me - and viola ... i'm at work EARLY.... so i'm in the break room talking with friends and one woman comes in with one of those damn ponchos that people are insisting on wearing ( you know the one's that look like your grandmothers throw cover ) any way i say something to the effect of " oh please tell me you're not wearing your grandmother's blanket as a shirt too " to which she says ... but i can pull it up and flash you my titties and she pulls the blanket up to show the shirt underneath ....

( hands up if you know where this is going )

so i OF COURSE have to say .... is this what we're doing today so i have to pull up my shirt and show my bra - to like all 4 people in the room and 2 men in the hall.I love a morning that starts with a flash. Puts a hitch in your giddiup for sure., I"m still grinning and laughing about it.so yay to me.

I'm so glad today seems better...yesterday i was so on the lonely bus that i could hardly see straight ... i'm although i'm alone some - i'm generally never lonely feeling .... so when that pain in my ass shows up - it can suck.

The one high spot of yesterday was my cube farm mate - she did something so funny it made me go fetal ... it's something that won't translate to written word as funny - but trust me, was better than chocolate covered chocolate.

And the new boy - the last minute date last weekend .... he's got potential. We met earlier this year, and he had some things he needed to clean up/clear up before i wanted to spend some time with him.. and i think he has ... and i think he's on the way to smitten ... and there's nothing wrong with that. so i think i might need to spend some time with him this weekend ... i bet i can make that happen .... but tonight is going to be girls night ... sushi with the best friend hopefully

- and that my dear blogspot friends - does NOT suck.oh and here's something funny - republicans showed up at my house last night to campaign for some senate race .... mike tried to eat them ... pity too - cause the guy was HOT ... looked like JC... and you know how i feel about him ( at least #3 kentucky does ) ... and so far that's it ... i'll add more as i think of it ... cause i'm swell like that!

Thursday, October 21, 2004
How to make Allie happy // What makes Allie happy

1. BEAT THE FUCKIN' YANKEES!!!!

2. Bring me creamer for my coffee ... from up the street...cause we're out of it here.

3. Wake me up with sweet little kisses ( from either boys, or in this case - my dog )

4. Have the new sort cool radio station here talk about Mraz - then play his music.

5. Tell me

a. i look good

b. you can tell i'm losing weight

c. my hair looks like it's really getting longer

6. Suprize me by having lips shaped post it's on my desk cause you know i love the lips stuff

7. Tell me you love me back

8. Tell me about the new man - BEFORE THE 3rd DATE ...

9. You be happy and chances are I'll get happy too.

10. When the Wal-greens became an open for 24 hours store.

11. Leave me cute messages on my voice mail

12. Tell me I smell good.

13. Have Crystal Light Lemonade on sale.

14. Finding money in the bottom of a purse.

15. Offer me one of your juice boxes

16. Laugh at my funny stories.

17. Leave me a comment on this thing.

18. Know some obscure comedy routine ( that i know too... and we can laugh together )

19. Singing along LOUD in the car

.20. When the Braves win

.21. Clinique bonus time

22. Fried Zucchini at The Vortex

23. Have ice cold beer in frosty mugs

24 New keyrings

25. The movie "viva las vegas"

26. when i use this purple pen with purple feathers at the top that ashlee gave me last year

27. When my goddaughters tell me i'm they're favorite

28, actually, when anyone tells me i'm their favorite

29. watching mike do wind sprints at the dog park

30. that "new purse" smell

31. brewster's pistachio ice cream

32. wearing my tiara

33. talking on the phone with friends

34. sexy shoesand my friendships with all of you ....

evidently i'm sappy today.yay me.

love,allie

( ps - you're my favorite, don't tell the others )
posted by allie @ 8:52 AM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Hello....

My name is allie, and I’m addicted to the internet

.Our server was down until just about 10 minutes ago – and if I go to my happy place, I think I can make the shaking stop.

Who knew I need to check in on so many things on line…I have to see what my queens are up to…what the diaryland people are up to …. Check 300 different emails …. And of course see if Jason Mraz updated his journal…I LOVE when he does that!So now that I’m a little caught up – I’m doing my own little circle of the ‘net and blogging away.

Well, mike’s “birthday” was last night – I know it sounds sad and pitiful to some people - but to those people I say “ toss off wanker “ he’s my damn dog – and if I wanna do something special – I can. And I will. And I did.

i’ve been in the weepy place lately – I’m not sure why – I’m not hormonal at the moment, and honestly the ‘zac has really curtailed the crying jags. I have a friend ( well 2 actually ) who is going thru some real serious and life changing stuff right now – and I’m so worried about her .. I almost can’t see straight. Hell we all are … the “numbers” especially….and I think I’m going to let it manifest into a full on pity party on Sunday – I’m thinking church might not happen and a pity party might …wait.

Stop.

I’m planning to have a pity party? Ok – this is why I write things down – how horrible does that sound – planning to let the blues get me …..yeah, I can’t do that. We’ll see what Sunday brings on Sunday.
posted by allie @ 3:30 PM

Tuesday, October 19, 2004
i thought of one good thing.

It's mike's birthday "today" ... see he's a rescue dog - and the woman i got him from said he was born in October ... so 3 years ago i decided it was on the 19th ..... ( cause that's when i could arrange the party ) ... so today, my puppy is 3 years old. yay mike.i hope he lives 300 more .... cause i adore that shedding ball of fur.
posted by allie @ 11:39 AM

Not Wordy
i got nothing today. not that anything bad is going on. just can't think of anything i feel like blogging about.
posted by allie @ 9:13 AM

Monday, October 18, 2004
WHY IS IT SO HOT IN HERE?!?!?

ok, first of all, if you didn't ready friday's "empathy" entry - please do. comment or not...but i was in full on rant formation when i wrote that one... i think it's good...but today is another day .

.and it's a hot fuckin' day. the heater here is broken ... it's broken ON...and for those of you who know me ... you know i HATE being hot.

We're talking curl falling out of hair, make up melting hot ... no coffee drinking ... iced water drinking instead hot. hotter than hell hot ( here's the nod to my boys in charlotte ) ... turn up all them eyes on the stove lid and roll around on it naked, now that's hot. and that's hell...on a GOOT day.

ok, but other than that things are ok. i re-joined the 18th century this weekend and got a cell phone. so that's cool, i can now be one of those people talking on the phone while driving that i bitch about.

I'm not that much of a TV junkie. I mean i watch plenty of it, but i like non network-y stuff usually ( except for the Law & Order stuff of course ) but this show "Desperate Housewives" has me hook, line, and sinker. And where i live ( atlanta ) Will and Grace is on for an hour afterwards ... sometimes life is really good. I HAVE to know what's the deal with the body in the trunk and the story of the woman who died .... and i have to encourage terri hatcher to eat something. Pork preferable, with double cheese, and double mayo ... cause DAMN she's a little too thin,

So, my dog's birthday is tomorrow - and i think i'm going to make him a cake - cause i'm that silly like that...and it's cake ..... cake is always a good idea. At least in my world it is.

Friday, October 15, 2004
It's called fucking EMPATHY.

Not asking for comments – not asking for no comments either – I just need to write for a moment. How different can someone be from you and you can still be friends? Not in the hey how ya doing kinda way – but in the I not only hear you, I feel you, I respect you, and honor your opinion …
I have friends ( my best one for example ) who is SO very different from me on so many levels…but we have this comfort level of what we have agreed to disagree on and not discuss. Like politics – I’m a liberal democrat and damn happy to be one….she’s uber conservative republican….so guess what – we don’t talk politics too much.Some people don’t understand how she and I can be so close with our ideas and ideals SO different – but we are.

I don’t make her wrong for her thoughts…she doesn’t make me wrong ( although we all know she’s wrong ) We attend different churches, mine is much more metaphysical in the interpretations of the Word, while I also have some quite traditional thoughts … she goes to an old money traditional church – yet we’ve both visited each others.. and neither one of us is wrong.I’m dunno – I’m just thinking..pete asked on a survey if we claimed ourself a democrat did we ever take advantage of a social service program…and mentioned unemployment as one. So, my answer is yes. I was on unemployment while I was looking for another job – I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with that AT ALL. I also have worked in social services for the last 11 years professionally and for 4 more before that while in college and have seen both the people who pulled themselves out of a terrible situation because of the assistance provided by a service organization … I of course have also seen people work the system.

The question was presented ( not by pete, just in conversation )that do I think people are stupid and cannot take care of themselves so the government has to … no of course not. But I also think many people aren’t as fortunate to be born into and raised in the kind of family I have. See I’m 34, my parents have been married for 37 years. They have known each other since high school. Mom was/is a stay at home mom and dad worked outside the home. For God’s sake, he drives a shiny Mercedes and mom, a Volvo. They live on a golf course and dad plays golf every weekend. ( and they are both liberal democrats too - much to the chagrin of club members)I grew up in an upper middle class family of privilidge, I think some of the privilidges I had that others can only dream of means I need to assist/help/serve those less fortunate. It’s because I had such a good childhood, I want to help.

Have you seen the face of a child at a soup kitchen so thrilled for a piece of cake that they almost explode. For a fuckin piece of cake. Or held a woman’s hand and told her it will be ok and you’ll help her after her husband/boyfriend/baby daddy has beaten the holy shit outta her. Have you sat by the side of someone dying from aids who’s family has turned their back on them? Have you sat in a hospital and rocked a baby that was abandoned or the born HIV+ ….part of me thinks everyone of you should – and the other part hopes you never have to.

And the discussions on stem cell..i think in the abstract it’s easy to say what you think you might think about a certain situation. But what if it was your son/daughter/friend that you sat and watched lose their legs and functions and knew that some research that has already been started could change that.

I’m not a sucker or a sap, I’m a realist. I know that it’s choices made and not made that have put people in many positions where they need assistance. I know I didn’t choose to get fired. I also know if I didn’t have parents willing to make payments for things – I’d be in line for those free social services too .. I wonder how many of us wouldn’t.

I think why she and I can be such tight friends is cause she and I both have fucking empathy. Can actually look at both sides, realize we might be wrong, and are willing to listen. It’s not a contest to see who’s the best Christian. It’s not a contest to see who God loves the most.
posted by allie @ 4:21 PM


So it's FRIDAY!
It's friday ... and it's COLD out!!

If you either don't like the cold ... or live somewhere where it's cold a lot, you might not understand my sheer JOY with this little tidbit of information.

I love the cold, i love fall ... and i'm THIS close to actually getting up and doing a little happy dance ... wait ... i think i AM going to get up and do a happy dance. There, that's better.(we sometimes do the i don't give a damn dance - which is also fun - when you can get your little aisle of cubicle mates to sing along ... I don't give a da-am)

anyway, where was i ... oh yes, it's cool out - was like 45 degrees when i left the house this morning...and i swear the sheer joy i feel from that is downright silly. i want to fire up ye old fireplace, get some hot chocolate ( real, cooked on the stove - not that envelope instant crap ), get a kick ass book, and crawl up in the sofa under a quilt that someone's ( read: MY ) momma made by hand. And since i don't have to work tomorrow ... that may be exactly what i do...anyone wanna join me?? I'll have cookies ... and i'm sure my wonderful dog will lay on your feet to keep you warm...

..let's see what's the other latest ... #3 sc is in texas right now -and will see her beloved hubby ( who is WAY ASS CUTE might i add - and i have a picture of him touching my boobs - but that's another story ) today ... and i'm thrilled for her with that ....

I talked to #3 ky last night - she's pretty good....so if my number people are ok ... i'm ok.It's been an interesting week of politics over at pete's site .... and uncle T stole my music idea and had some cool songs listed ... did anyone notice besides me that after like the first 4 songs or so - the rest was in alphabetical order .... anal or was his just looking at his songs loaded in the MP3 player ....i'm feeling rambly this morning - so i' m sure i'll come back later with more - but this is all i have for now.love ya!
posted by allie @ 7:17 AM



Thursday, October 14, 2004
yesterday was my 69th post

and i let it go by without any kind of childish comment about it - so i think i should correct that right now .... hee hee 69, that's funny, hee hee

.ok. glad i got that out of my system.so here's allie on the bummed train, i was signed up for 2 saturdays of overtime .. and they were just cancelled. this my friend sucks rocks ... cause momma a. needs the money and 43. was going to go to NC to see my very favorite gay boyfriends who treat me like the queen i am ( and vice versa actually ) so i'ma need someone to a. come visit me and b. send me some money ... cause i had that considerable amount of money earmarked for some important stuff - like say the mortgage.

goddamnit. so one of my people need to come see me .... NOW.But other than that, it's a pretty good day. I had a last minute date last night, and watched most of the ballgame...it's good to watch with someone who hates the Yankees as much as i do, and the sorta sweet thing about this guy is that he's so shy - he's not forward or handsy at all...and last night that was a good thing, cause i was in the mood for a friend, not to ward off pawing. A simple hug and kiss at the door was enough. so we'll see where this one goes...

.. i also made cookies for a co-worker last night - i have become the cookie woman of the office - and for good reason, i make DAMN good cookies ( so if say someone was to come see me, i'd make you cookies... and i have milk...and it's supposed to be rainy and cold... good weekend for cookies and milk and a rockin sofa .... i'm just saying )OH AND OH AND OH ... jackie and brian are having a baby - how cool is that (http://livinlovin.diaryland.com/ ) i'm very excited ... and again, i'd like to say how great i think the name allison is ( spelled with 2 l's of course )

ok, back to me .... i talked about "where are we?" with Johnny 5 the other night and he says he wants to be friends ( with unmentioned benefits) - since we're in different states now, and we only see each other once a month or so - which, on one hand i'm totally fine with- he has become a good friend that i can confide in, and i've seen him naked ....and he smells good... so that's good ..... and on the other hand ....i'm ready for someone full time - so as always, allie's love life is a little murky at the moment ..

..sidebar ( approach ){thanks stace} i'm listening to the 80's channel on yahoo radio - and they're playing Pat Benatar .... why don't they play her old GOOD stuff ... and not always spinning love is a battlefield....oh, and again, musical thanks to #3kentucky ..... her cd with Brian Setzer is the ONLY reason i'm awake at the office - i listened to that song about 3 times to wake it up...the bad news was - there were grounds in the coffe this morning KACK - the good news is that i had a bagel with cream cheese and honey. i'm trying to be happy with the little things, and that is today's little thing. ( excellent hair and great rack notwithstanding)love you all my peoples!allie
posted by allie @ 9:35 AM


Wednesday, October 13, 2004
past life

i think i musta been some kinda musician in a past life.

i know most people love some kind of music and it does cool things for their soul. but i think i have more of a connection to music than most people ( #3 kentucky notwithstanding ) i sometimes get tickled at the effect music seems to have on me

. i can go from sad to happy in a second ... and vice versa. i think it's cool how a certain Jimmy Buffett song can take me back to that second when my first college "in love" boyfriend kissed me. I can smell the cigarettes in the air, and i can actually feel his "smile pressed against mine". I remember my first french kiss at a teen club here in town while Madonna's "Crazy for you" played .... and i can remember looking into the eyes of a man i love/d while we both listed to "how can you mend a broken heart" and last night was fun and sorta silly. see, in addition to music - i also LOVE bubble baths, i take one every night ( can you tell i don't have kids? ) and often times i'm also yakkin on the phone while soaking, and last night i called #3 ky - and she played Jason Mraz covering elton john's "Rocketman" and let me listen. This almost took me to the crying place - i love that song. it makes me feel close to my dad .... the doobie brother's black water does too.

I love to find out about the kind of music a person identifies with or what kinda music phase they're in...i love when someone says "i love ......." and it's something that either i never would have expected or it's someone sorta odd that i love too. I don't know about other teams or stadiums but here at Braves games - when a brave comes up to bat - they play a "theme" song he's picked - like Chipper's is Back in Black i think ....... and Andrew Jones is Welcome to Atlanta. Now one of the funniest things you'll ever see is a 70 year old pot bellied white guy singing - "welcome to atlanta where the players play" .. tell me that didn't just make you smile.

But i was just thinking about how important music is to me and how much of my life i spend listening to it or singing. Church, karaoke, in the car, on the phone - where ever ... i love it. Unfortunatly or fortunately - i have 2 dear friends that are AMAZING singers...in several groups around town and i will think " wow, i'm pretty good" then hear them ... and i'm then "yeah, not so much"but i was thinking of some of my favorite songs ... there's no WAY i could list them all - i'd be here all day - and as soon as someone mentioned one - i'd be OH I LOVE THAT ONE TOO! but a quick list of some of my favorites ... all time.. and right now ... and for memories they bring back.... here goes
* Tempted - by Squeeze
* Little Bird - Stevie Ray Vaughn
* Ain't no Way - Aretha Franklin
* Unexpressed - Patti Lu Pone
* You and I - Jason Mraz
* For the Good Times - Al Green
* Sin Wagon - Dixie Chicks
* Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy - Big and Rich
* Meeting in the Ladies Room - Klymaxx
* Love Cats - The Cure
* Carolina in my Mind - James Taylor
* Ghost - Indigo Girls
* Emotion - Bee Gees
* Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison
* Father and Son - Cat Stevens
* Strokin - Clarence Carter
* Get Down on it - Kool and the Gang
*All at Sea - Jamie Cullem, Cullum, Cullom. something like that
* Waterloo - ABBA*Enid - Barenaked Ladies
*Any Marc Anthony salsa

**** so of course i've thought of a million more - so i'm adding a few
* Russians - Sting
* Thru the fire - Chaka Khan
*Feel like Makin Love - Bad Company ( i went to school in south georgia)
* You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi ( sorry )
* Black Betty - NO IDEA
* Any Who or Led Zep
* Baby did a bad bad thing - Chris Issak
* Angel from Montgomery - Bonnie Raitt
*Never take the place of your man - Prince ...
* Blackbird - The Beatles

ok i'm stopping again - but i'm sure i'll add more inand a gabillion other ones i'm sure i'll think of and have the urge to post .. and i just might later.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004
sheesh.

I realize that I keep my blog pretty light. I know I’ve addressed my depression every now and then…talked about some of my fears and concerns about love, lost loves, never had loves, and stuff like that. But I really try to stay out of political and social issues on here. I know it’s my blog and I can talk about anything I want.

But to that I also say, I know my opinions on things. I have studies, wrestled, counseled, and pondered why I feel the way I do about things. I’m comfortable but not complacent in my ideas.

I’m also a flaming liberal.

I’m really way past beyond ok with that word. I like the word liberal. It irritates me that people use it with the same venom they reserve for pedophiles, but at the end of the day, that’s their issue and not mine. What I really take issue with is when people tell me that if I just “think” or “learn” about an issue, I’ll change my mind and “get enlightened” on an issue. Like I haven’t already investigated other options or choices. I realize some people knee jerk and say “I’m a republican because my parents were, my grandparents were, so I am” or “ I’m a democrat because I was a liberal arts major and that’s what we do”.

I think to honestly align yourself with a party ( and I’m not sure that’s the best idea either ) for yourself – not cause your friends think a certain way or your family does….takes education, introspection, and serious consideration. I say that I’m an American first, and a democrat second. I think this is the correct order of business…to declare my unity with my country first – then my social and political leanings. I guess I’m just sorta bummed, because I really make every effort to not just ignore someone who I don’t agree with but try to see where they’re coming from and respect their thoughts and respect their decisions, and I’m not seeing much of that in return and it’s disappointing. But I have to remember that people can disappoint, but they’re just people. Just like me. I’d just like some respect in return, that doesn’t seem to much to ask for.

My best friend and I can do it. She and I could NOT be more different….( save for one friend. And he knows who he is ) she and I are total opposites, she’s a conservative republican – me, well you know. She has guns in the house, I’m TOTALLY opposed to that, she listens to conservative talk radio, me – guess. She goes to those rallys and speeches by those people… again – guess with me – but I love her and respect her choices, even if I don’t agree with them. I’d take a bullet for her right now. Anyway, what I’m saying is “can’t we all just get along”

******************************

But enough of that … so the office has been open for 30 minutes and I’ve already had 2 “walk in’s”

I cannot tell you how much I HATE the walk in client.

And I can’t just not see them, I’ve tried that – it’s a no go here. But this is what I hate. I’m supposed to drop everything I’m doing and respond to them within 15 minutes of their arrival. Now keep in mind I have over 600 families on my caseload… not 600 people – FAMILIES so we’re talking like 1000+ people.

What I’m saying is I’m BUSY!

I will call your ass back when I can …. You coming down here and interrupting me is just going to make me put you at the bottom of the list …. ARGH.

Ok wow, I feel better now.S

o I’m listening to ABBA, and enjoying the silliness of that …. Drinking juice…. Sporting excellent shoes, cute hair , trying to figure out what exactly it is Johnny #5 and I are doing, and hoping he doesn’t get hurt today when they use LIVE ammo! What the hell is that about … any way…. I have cranky clients downstairs..lemme go see what they want.
posted by allie @ 9:01 AM


Monday, October 11, 2004
There's a bright golden haze on my meadow.
Wow, that sounded dirty...and i wasn't even going for that.

But I'm having a good morning - which is a good thing. My parents gave me a couple of cd's yesterday - the Hugh Jackman ( mine if i say YUM ) Oklahoma! soundtrack and ABBA's greatest hits .... ( it's amazing i didn't turn out to be a gay man)But i was listening to ok. while driving to work - singing at the top of my lungs and smiling my face off. There are worse ways to start a morning.

This was sorta a tricky weekend in the world of allie ... Saturday I had to come in the office for a few hours and a co-worker brought her baby girl - she's 7 months old and looks like a little budda ..... and she loved me of course - she was a little fussy - i went and picked her up and she went straight to the content place ... other's had picked her up and she was still fussy- but not for allie..... which was great and amazing and wonderful ... but stirred up the hormones. Then that afternoon my best friend and her 4 year old and I hung out .... and lola ( the kid ) could NOT get enough allie ... which i love - but again, more hormones swirling.....so by the time I got home .... I was convinced that i would never be married, never have a kid, and would in fact end up the crazy lady with a million dogs. But I realize the craziness of that - and recognizing is 1/2 the battle right?!?! That and an INSANE amount of chocolate .... { i went a little crazy in the chocolate aisle}

And poor Johnny #5, he picked the wrong time to call - and got to listen to me cry Saturday night about all of this ... but i tell you what, he's a good one - he called like 4 times Sunday from accross the country at tank school to check on me and see if i was ok ... and i of course was. sorta. it was nice to have a boy care. my girlfriends care and understand of course - but it's nice for a man to feel that way too.

Sunday was good though, I got my fat ass up and went to church. Damn, I really do love that place. The sermon was tailor made for me, the music was bad enough to be completly enjoyable, one of my friends was saving a seat for me ... and another friend who is ... well i'm not sure what she is, there was a group of 4 of us that was really tight - due to lots of things the group of 4 fell apart - but i managed to stay friends with everyone .. and this person "h" couldn't get past that - and consequently didn't speak to me for a while, and yesterday in church, she came and sat right next to me. It was nice, we caught up a little bit - and maybe she's not angry anymore .... we'll see. Then after that I went to mom and dad's for lunch - mom made pumpkin pancakes. Let me let you in on a little allie secret - 1. i LOVE all things pumpkin flavored ( as i love all things fall ) and 9. I ADORE pancakes ... they are one of my favorite food groups in the world - so to have a good church morning, an old friend returning to the fold, AND pancakes ... well, this is a win win win moment!

So here I am back at work, another day where i have a job, and i'm grateful for that ... I dropped off my power bill at the EMC this morning - so i'll have power when i get home :) ... i'm feeling good, looking cute, still funnier than all get out, rocking an excellent cup o' joe, and listening to elvis costello - things could be worse right?!?!
posted by allie @ 1:15 AM


Friday, October 08, 2004
But it's not.
You know what’s almost like fun, but it’s not

.When you’re in a good mood, and everyone around you is all cranked up.

Now, this should be a good day … see, we have casual Fridays here at work.. but they’re not really all that casual…women can wear a denim skirt – but we’re still all dressed up pretty much – but today is a Breast Cancer awareness day here, and if we donated $5 ( tax deductable ya know ) we got these nifty pink ribbon pins to wear on our name badges and we get to wear jeans.

I never realized how liberating jeans could be.

It feels like the weekend, like I should be getting my nails done, running errands, having a cocktail, and playing with Mike … but I’m at the office… and I’m a damn fine mood – all around the cranky people of the universe …..SO guess what I get to do this weekend, since the whole Nashville thing fell apart – THANKS car! I get to go hold a brand new baby. My best friends sister in law had a wee tiny baby girl this week ( welcome to the world sweet baby ) and I get to go hold her and kiss the top of her head. But before I get to do that, I have to go to babies R us for a gift – and to try to not have a breakdown while I’m in there. For the longest time I couldn’t go to that store without freaking out and crying once I got to the car – but ya know, since the ‘zac I don’t cry much anymore – so maybe I can survive this unscathed.Other than that, it looks like it’s going to be a quiet weekend, which I’m ok with. I need some time for some quiet reflection about some things that are going on in my life and decisions I need to make.

I don’t know that I’ve ever mentioned it here, but I’m going thru some challenges with my church. Not really my church exactly, just some drama that’s being played out there, and it breaks my heart. I adore my church. I love my minister and his wife. I trust their decisions, and their vision for the church. I realize that they’re people with issues, and egos, and faults…just like the rest of us, but I like them, and I like my minister’s preaching style, and message – and every week when I leave there – it’s like he’s spoken directly to my soul. And isn’t that the point? But see, there’s drama brewing ( as always ) this time in the form of a building – so, without the details, and making a very long story short – 2 camps of thought have drawn their lines in the sand and a pissing contest has started. My suggestion was that the men involved, unzip and whip their dicks on the table, let us measure them and we can then know who has the biggest one and we can be done with it …… it got a giggle - but I was totally serious…whatever…so I haven’t been to church in a couple of months – which for me, is weird. I didn’t go to church as a child – and came to it as an adult, and I found one that is a perfect fit for me….so I guess I need to get over the human aspect of what’s bothering me and get back to the God part of it – cause I gotta tell you, I was there this past weekend for a drama thing … and damn- it felt good to be in that building, and to hear my minister speak …. I think I just answered my own question.

Thursday, October 07, 2004
feeling fallish

Ah Fall.

It’s official.

It’s fall in the world of Allie. Leaves are turning, Halloween decorations are out, chai is being consumed, the crock pot has been brought out of hiding, college football has started, the Braves are losing post season games, and the #1 way I can tell fall has flung.

I have on stockings today.

I actually do NOT have on some kinda strappy sandal today. Now don’t get me wrong – they’re still high heels and I’m still FABULOUS – but they are in fact closed toe pumps complete with stockings. I know this prolly doesn’t mean anything to the boys ( unless they just like a good shoe conversation ) or to the poor women who have to wear closed toe shoes or stockings all year long ….. but to me this is something.

nd at the moment … it’s all I have.

Work has been INSANE this week, I have appointments all day long every 30 minutes … and it’s crazy. So, a moment of happy comfy cute feet is a good thing …. That and I brought leftover pizza for lunch - things could be worse …..I’m date free again this weekend, and Johnny #5 ended up not having to come to town tonight – which is actually a good thing .. cause he has enough to do for his training. He’s in the National Guard, and his unit is supposed to be headed “in country” in January – and he’s going to tank commander school for 2 weeks. I’m excited for him, cause it’s what he really wants to do, but last night in conversation he mentioned something about dodging bullets in January, and that really scared me. I mean, he’s a good kid, and I mean kid, he’s 25. We talked and I asked him not to be Johnny Macho Bravo American, and to keep his mind clear while he’s there and to please be safe – I’m scared for his momma. I’ve never even met her – I’m scared for all the mommas….

Ok, enough of that …. I need someone to riddle me something.

See, I work on one floor of the building, but when we meet with clients – we meet on another floor in one big cube farm. Now there are of course no walls in this space – and there is ( of course ) a “meeting room” on the other side of a ½ wall. Where at this moment there is a class of about 50 LOUD people going on. I have to ask my clients 3 and 4 times to repeat themselves .. and the people facilitating the class seem NOT to care.

I’m close to snapping. But instead I’m going to Moe’s for lunch for the giganto burrito. Cause they are yummy. And because I can.
posted by allie @ 10:20 AM

Wednesday, October 06, 2004
#3 sc did it, so i have to too...


here's a list of little known ( possibly ) facts about moi.
*I started coloring my hair in 7th grade ... and never stopped
*I know ALL the lines to the movie "Coal Miner's Daughter"
*I have seen Barry Manilow in concert.
*AND Henry Rollins
*I have seen both "Toad the Wet Sproket" and "Hootie and the Blowfish" 7 times
*I have NEVER seen Al Green
*I STILL like n*sync
*I only like to eat chinese food with chopsticks
*I am an only child
*I'm a little scared of little tiny dogs
*I wear black everyday
*Cause I look good in black
* My friends are doing ALL THEY CAN to get me to not wear so much black
*I am terrible with money
*I don't really like cats too much
*I was recently bitten by a cat and had to go to the dr twice for it
*I'm starting to get scared that i'll never get married
*I'm also trying not to worry about it
*I love amber scented things
*I've seen EVERY episode of Law and Order
*I named my dog after a character on Law and Order
*I LOVE the American Chopper show....
*I can't stand will not stand won't stand tomatoes
*I love ketchup*I wasn't supposed to have 2 first names
*I go by my middle name
*Only my friends call me "allie" my parents never have
*I have had an affair with 2 married men
*One i honestly didn't know was married
*One...I'm still working off karmic debt about
*My dog will only play with other black dogs at the park
*I can cook indian food better than any white girl should be able to
*I shook President Clinton's hand
.*I would gladly "shake" more :)
*I called in "ugly" to work after an unfortunate hair cut
*I met my last 2 long term boyfriends online
*I met some of my best friends in the world online*
I have never flashed for mardi gras beads
*I have flashed cause it's funny
*2 of my best friends are a lesbian couple
*When i met them, one was bi, and the other was married to a man
*I'm the only white girl in my office
*I was in a really terrible wreck in college.
*I am now paranoid about sleeping in cars
*I can only sleep in a car if my daddy is driving
*I'm 34 and still call him daddy
posted by allie @ 7:09 AM


I'm gonna need a judges ruling on this ...
Actually I have no idea what i'm going to write about this morning - not that that in itself is so very different than any other morning ....

but here goes ....
SO those convention people are in town still...and the traffic guys did the basic RUN FOR YOU LIFE THE SKY IS FALLING panic. So I get ready in a timely manner - take mike for his 10-15 minute walk and leave for the office at 7am ... a full 15 minutes early. I don't have to be at work until 8:15 - and i REfuckingFUSE to leave any earlier than 7. SO what time did i pull in the parking lot at work - yup - 7:25.
What the hell is that about .... anyway - so i got here early - and considered taking a quick nap - but decided to do this instead .... aren't you all thrilled.
So I have another day chock full of appointments today - and I also have cramps - so i'm hoping that I don't have to go off on anyone...like yesterday.

This old woman told me she was going to call Clark Howard and the NAACP on me ... to which I asked her if she had their numbers or would she like me to get them for her ..... I'm hoping Jesus calls her home soon. And I had to lecture another client she's 22 years old with .. this is lovely ... a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, 2 yr old, 1 yr old, and is due in January. Yup you read that right.

Now, I a 34 year old, college educated, home owner, loyal voter, can't seem to get it together enough to have a baby, but she has 5. This is on the list of things that God is going to have to explain to me, cause i sure don't understand it.But until the real person baby comes...I still have the kickin-est dog on the planet.

And i love this part - since it's FINALLY getting cool at night - i've been sleeping with the windows open - but i still have the ceiling fan on .. and mike cuddles up right next to me ... last night he did what i call the "long lay" which just means he was stretched out up next to me instead of curled up in the "doughnut sleep" which lemme tell you- is just about my favorite thing in the world ... you know what IS my favorite thing ... I was talking to a friend on the phone, eating chocolate chip cookies in bed, while my dog was all cuddled up ... i dare you to top that - it just plain can't be done.
posted by allie @ 6:48 AM


Tuesday, October 05, 2004
stayin late and updating...

well not exactly updating -cause nothing of that must interest happened to me today worth talking about ...but i was complimented time and time again on my new sexy shoes .. so that's worth a yay.

so here's a question. this came up on the morning radio station here the other day, and we've been talking about it at work ... i'm gonna try to break it down pre-k style and tell me what you think.there are 2 couples in this story - i'm gonna call then 1. fred and wilma and 2. betty and barney ,these couples are both married .... fred and wilma are fighting and generally not happy with each other at the moment... fred steps out on wilma ......wilma is furious and heartbroken and all that jazz .... FRED tries to make himself look better and says well hell BARNEY had an affair the first year they were married ........the question then becomes does WILMA tell BETTY that she knows BARNEY cheated on her.My answer to this was no. It's none of wilma's fucking business what happens - and it's not her place to tell betty what happened ....... but this "wilma" does tell ... and now both couples are getting divorced and the guys are talking to each other anymore ....my questions are now ...1. why did the guy try to cover his ass by ratting out his friend2. why would someone want to cause more misery to her friend my telling about something that happened like 4 years ago3.

WHY WOULD YOU GET ON THE RADIO TO TALK ABOUT IT???

ok i'm done = going home .... i'll be looking for your answers later

welcome back.

Know what happens when you take a day off … 47 phone messages, and requests for files to be pulled for an audit and returning for 9 different appointments.
Ok so I’m tired, and borderline cranky. I’m trying to work past the crank factor…but it started this morning. In traffic.

Need I say more …. Of course I do.

So, my favorite bumper sticker in the history of all bumper stickers says this “Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re an asshole” this describes my morning – there is some wackaloon, no wait, make that a freezedried wackaloon in town this week – and a gabillion old people are going there to be parted with their money in the hopes of salvation. ( ps – I like to think God would NOT choose as one of his very favorites someone with a combover. …. Which leads me to another question, if this fool can “heal” the blind, sick, and deaf …. How come he can’t talk to the big guy about getting some hair? )

I don’t understand this … put it on the list of things I don’t understand. I did learn this morning – that most old Christians can’t drive and they can’t read the signs that are posted ALL OVER THE FREKIN INTERSTATE to tell them where to get off to go give this man all their money ….. so they stay out of my way on the way to work.But at work I am….was late because of the Christians ( and please know that I AM a Christian and I’m all over the Jesus bus … I’m just saying ….) then get to work to an INSANE amount of cranky messages on my machine … a gabillion appointments, walk in’s, a cranky front desk woman …..

I can tell I’m gonna need to punch someone in the face today … it’s just that day….. Thank all that is good and sparkly that I got a kick ass hair cut yesterday and I’m wearing the sexy momma shoes … which I’ve gotten NOTHING but compliments on or I’d have to do something drastic. So, while my next appointment is late – I’m writing a blog entry – good use of time don’t cha think…of course you do.

So I’ve decided some things.

1. I’m done with all political conversations, with anyone for any reason. I’m not gonna change anyone’s mind, no one is going to change mine and it just pisses people off – so I’m done with those.
2. I’m so aware that Johnny #5 isn’t “the” one … and I’m also aware that I’m not sure who “the” one is…..cause if it truly WAS the one I thought it was … he’d be mine … but he’s not … so to quote my beloved Wendy – I’m movin on … yay to me. ( and Johnny #5 thinks I’m sexy and fun and funny and all the jazz – so why not keep him around a little bit longer … )
3. I do in fact have the best girlfriends in the world….ones that I can cry with and one’s that trust me enough to cry on my shoulder – and I love them for that and so much more. And
4. that mike and I are quite thrilled that pete’s pupper abby is doing well – and I’ve decided NOT to tell mike that abby is getting a new sister – cause I don’t’ want him talking about wanting one – cause that AIN’T gonna happen.So anyway…that’s all I have for the moment – I’ll come up with more if it strikes me – and if not .. this is what you get …. Do with it what you will.
posted by allie @ 9:47 AM


Monday, October 04, 2004
Hot Damn

This my dear friends is what we call a kick ass day.

I decided somehow last night to in fact SET my alarm clock but not to turn the sucker on ... so when i overslept - i decided ... yeah, this is God's way of telling me to take the day off ... so i just make biscuits and coffee and mom and i are going to see "garden state" this afternoon - then i'm going to decorate for halloween ..see my neighborhood decorated outside for halloween the way most do for Christmas ... and i LOVE that about my place. I have orange icicle lights, orange lights for the shrubs in front of the house and for the gas lantern ... decorations to hang in the trees...i can't wait for this - mike and i took a walk last night to see what the rest of the neighbors had done and what i needed to do to not be shamed.

And this past weekend was one of those where being single is the BEST. and I mean SINGLE no spouse, no kids, no deeds to do, no promises to keep.

It was all allie all the time.

I took lots of naps and LOTS of bubble baths .... lots of walks with Mike, and lots of talking on the phone with friends. And it looks like Johnny #5 might be back in the picture. If I talked to him once this weekend, I talked to him 30 times. He's going to be here for a night this week cause he's got some military paperwork to complete for some school he's going off to this weekend. So we'll see what happens with that - he's a friend at least. and sometimes naked friends are the best.

I had an off site meeting with work on friday - that was interesting - and another story all together....and saturday i had a function at church...which was a "blast" and sunday - was ALL allie ... love that - watched movies, ate popcorn, took naps, walked the dog. not too shabby.and in honor of jackie - i bought some SERIOUSLY sexy shoes...i put them on and said out loud "wow, i'd fuck me in these .... and a guy in the aisle said, so would I!!!" so you KNOW those came home with me - the cable bill can wait another week right? and what else - oh yeah, kickin pedicure.so i have excellent shoes, and the cutest feet in all the lands nowyay to me!