Tuesday, October 12, 2004
sheesh.

I realize that I keep my blog pretty light. I know I’ve addressed my depression every now and then…talked about some of my fears and concerns about love, lost loves, never had loves, and stuff like that. But I really try to stay out of political and social issues on here. I know it’s my blog and I can talk about anything I want.

But to that I also say, I know my opinions on things. I have studies, wrestled, counseled, and pondered why I feel the way I do about things. I’m comfortable but not complacent in my ideas.

I’m also a flaming liberal.

I’m really way past beyond ok with that word. I like the word liberal. It irritates me that people use it with the same venom they reserve for pedophiles, but at the end of the day, that’s their issue and not mine. What I really take issue with is when people tell me that if I just “think” or “learn” about an issue, I’ll change my mind and “get enlightened” on an issue. Like I haven’t already investigated other options or choices. I realize some people knee jerk and say “I’m a republican because my parents were, my grandparents were, so I am” or “ I’m a democrat because I was a liberal arts major and that’s what we do”.

I think to honestly align yourself with a party ( and I’m not sure that’s the best idea either ) for yourself – not cause your friends think a certain way or your family does….takes education, introspection, and serious consideration. I say that I’m an American first, and a democrat second. I think this is the correct order of business…to declare my unity with my country first – then my social and political leanings. I guess I’m just sorta bummed, because I really make every effort to not just ignore someone who I don’t agree with but try to see where they’re coming from and respect their thoughts and respect their decisions, and I’m not seeing much of that in return and it’s disappointing. But I have to remember that people can disappoint, but they’re just people. Just like me. I’d just like some respect in return, that doesn’t seem to much to ask for.

My best friend and I can do it. She and I could NOT be more different….( save for one friend. And he knows who he is ) she and I are total opposites, she’s a conservative republican – me, well you know. She has guns in the house, I’m TOTALLY opposed to that, she listens to conservative talk radio, me – guess. She goes to those rallys and speeches by those people… again – guess with me – but I love her and respect her choices, even if I don’t agree with them. I’d take a bullet for her right now. Anyway, what I’m saying is “can’t we all just get along”

******************************

But enough of that … so the office has been open for 30 minutes and I’ve already had 2 “walk in’s”

I cannot tell you how much I HATE the walk in client.

And I can’t just not see them, I’ve tried that – it’s a no go here. But this is what I hate. I’m supposed to drop everything I’m doing and respond to them within 15 minutes of their arrival. Now keep in mind I have over 600 families on my caseload… not 600 people – FAMILIES so we’re talking like 1000+ people.

What I’m saying is I’m BUSY!

I will call your ass back when I can …. You coming down here and interrupting me is just going to make me put you at the bottom of the list …. ARGH.

Ok wow, I feel better now.S

o I’m listening to ABBA, and enjoying the silliness of that …. Drinking juice…. Sporting excellent shoes, cute hair , trying to figure out what exactly it is Johnny #5 and I are doing, and hoping he doesn’t get hurt today when they use LIVE ammo! What the hell is that about … any way…. I have cranky clients downstairs..lemme go see what they want.
posted by allie @ 9:01 AM


Monday, October 11, 2004
There's a bright golden haze on my meadow.
Wow, that sounded dirty...and i wasn't even going for that.

But I'm having a good morning - which is a good thing. My parents gave me a couple of cd's yesterday - the Hugh Jackman ( mine if i say YUM ) Oklahoma! soundtrack and ABBA's greatest hits .... ( it's amazing i didn't turn out to be a gay man)But i was listening to ok. while driving to work - singing at the top of my lungs and smiling my face off. There are worse ways to start a morning.

This was sorta a tricky weekend in the world of allie ... Saturday I had to come in the office for a few hours and a co-worker brought her baby girl - she's 7 months old and looks like a little budda ..... and she loved me of course - she was a little fussy - i went and picked her up and she went straight to the content place ... other's had picked her up and she was still fussy- but not for allie..... which was great and amazing and wonderful ... but stirred up the hormones. Then that afternoon my best friend and her 4 year old and I hung out .... and lola ( the kid ) could NOT get enough allie ... which i love - but again, more hormones swirling.....so by the time I got home .... I was convinced that i would never be married, never have a kid, and would in fact end up the crazy lady with a million dogs. But I realize the craziness of that - and recognizing is 1/2 the battle right?!?! That and an INSANE amount of chocolate .... { i went a little crazy in the chocolate aisle}

And poor Johnny #5, he picked the wrong time to call - and got to listen to me cry Saturday night about all of this ... but i tell you what, he's a good one - he called like 4 times Sunday from accross the country at tank school to check on me and see if i was ok ... and i of course was. sorta. it was nice to have a boy care. my girlfriends care and understand of course - but it's nice for a man to feel that way too.

Sunday was good though, I got my fat ass up and went to church. Damn, I really do love that place. The sermon was tailor made for me, the music was bad enough to be completly enjoyable, one of my friends was saving a seat for me ... and another friend who is ... well i'm not sure what she is, there was a group of 4 of us that was really tight - due to lots of things the group of 4 fell apart - but i managed to stay friends with everyone .. and this person "h" couldn't get past that - and consequently didn't speak to me for a while, and yesterday in church, she came and sat right next to me. It was nice, we caught up a little bit - and maybe she's not angry anymore .... we'll see. Then after that I went to mom and dad's for lunch - mom made pumpkin pancakes. Let me let you in on a little allie secret - 1. i LOVE all things pumpkin flavored ( as i love all things fall ) and 9. I ADORE pancakes ... they are one of my favorite food groups in the world - so to have a good church morning, an old friend returning to the fold, AND pancakes ... well, this is a win win win moment!

So here I am back at work, another day where i have a job, and i'm grateful for that ... I dropped off my power bill at the EMC this morning - so i'll have power when i get home :) ... i'm feeling good, looking cute, still funnier than all get out, rocking an excellent cup o' joe, and listening to elvis costello - things could be worse right?!?!
posted by allie @ 1:15 AM


Friday, October 08, 2004
But it's not.
You know what’s almost like fun, but it’s not

.When you’re in a good mood, and everyone around you is all cranked up.

Now, this should be a good day … see, we have casual Fridays here at work.. but they’re not really all that casual…women can wear a denim skirt – but we’re still all dressed up pretty much – but today is a Breast Cancer awareness day here, and if we donated $5 ( tax deductable ya know ) we got these nifty pink ribbon pins to wear on our name badges and we get to wear jeans.

I never realized how liberating jeans could be.

It feels like the weekend, like I should be getting my nails done, running errands, having a cocktail, and playing with Mike … but I’m at the office… and I’m a damn fine mood – all around the cranky people of the universe …..SO guess what I get to do this weekend, since the whole Nashville thing fell apart – THANKS car! I get to go hold a brand new baby. My best friends sister in law had a wee tiny baby girl this week ( welcome to the world sweet baby ) and I get to go hold her and kiss the top of her head. But before I get to do that, I have to go to babies R us for a gift – and to try to not have a breakdown while I’m in there. For the longest time I couldn’t go to that store without freaking out and crying once I got to the car – but ya know, since the ‘zac I don’t cry much anymore – so maybe I can survive this unscathed.Other than that, it looks like it’s going to be a quiet weekend, which I’m ok with. I need some time for some quiet reflection about some things that are going on in my life and decisions I need to make.

I don’t know that I’ve ever mentioned it here, but I’m going thru some challenges with my church. Not really my church exactly, just some drama that’s being played out there, and it breaks my heart. I adore my church. I love my minister and his wife. I trust their decisions, and their vision for the church. I realize that they’re people with issues, and egos, and faults…just like the rest of us, but I like them, and I like my minister’s preaching style, and message – and every week when I leave there – it’s like he’s spoken directly to my soul. And isn’t that the point? But see, there’s drama brewing ( as always ) this time in the form of a building – so, without the details, and making a very long story short – 2 camps of thought have drawn their lines in the sand and a pissing contest has started. My suggestion was that the men involved, unzip and whip their dicks on the table, let us measure them and we can then know who has the biggest one and we can be done with it …… it got a giggle - but I was totally serious…whatever…so I haven’t been to church in a couple of months – which for me, is weird. I didn’t go to church as a child – and came to it as an adult, and I found one that is a perfect fit for me….so I guess I need to get over the human aspect of what’s bothering me and get back to the God part of it – cause I gotta tell you, I was there this past weekend for a drama thing … and damn- it felt good to be in that building, and to hear my minister speak …. I think I just answered my own question.