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from last night's "Will & Grace"

''When an opportunity comes,'' Jack declared on the subject of his dating married men, ''I don't question it! I grab it, drop its ring on the nightstand, and swing on it till dawn!''

I’d like to take a moment to beat Lauren in the ass.

And by beat in the ass, I mean catch a quick grope – and my catch a quick grope I mean tounge kiss her in front of her husband so he’ll go get me some ice cream.


BUT my point is.

A few years ago I was out of work and into daytime tv. I got hooked on “starting over” – like talking on message boards – calling friends daily to talk about it ( my favorite is STILL andy – but that’s another story)

Anyhow – the other night “R” was over and we were making cookies ( no that’s not a metaphor) – and watching “ A mighty wind” …. And the cell rings – and it’s lola to tell me about the new season of S.O. … I had not seen any of the new ones … and she kinda got me up to snuff with them.

Now this show comes on locally at 11 am and again at 3:30 AM …. Can you see where this is heading …

So the last 3 nights I have “woken up” ( no alarm, no NOTHING – except the urge to turn on the tv …. And I have seen the last 3 nights of this show.)

It is the best WORST show ever.

And I’m continually suprized at people who go on TELEVISION to talk about their baggage – then say they are scared that people will find out ….

What?


Huh?

Really?


Then why go on tv …..


Anyway … back to my point – I’m on my 3rd day of waking up in the middle of the night to catch up on tv.

So I’ve heard of this thing called tivo, or even a vcr ….. you’d think I’d just do that.

No, that’s too easy.

Yeah, i'm sheep like with the girls. Stacey did this - so i had to follow....cause that's how we roll.

( sidebar - tex, remember your promise to stay in touch with me - we're all worried about you and the storm)


10 years ago.
I was sharing a house in the Garden Hills area of Atlanta with my then best friend, and damn things seemed easier then. Well, if not easier, they sure were different. But I wouldn’t go back and do it again … that I know.

5 years ago
Was dating someone who was toxic to me – and subsequently doing really stupid self destructive things to “make” him love me. BUT i had also read a couple of “queen” books and was making some new friends who would change EVERYTHING.

1year ago
I was working at the Atlanta Housing Authority – hating every second of it. But still had the best friends in the world. And I met “the one” the one that got away. I’m still pretty damn sure he was the guy, but he’s not my guy – so whatcha’ gonna do?

Yesterday
I watched 2 episodes of “carnivale” , talked on the phone with the new boy(wow, i like him - please allie don't fuck this one up), tex, christel, and seven. And had a WONDERFUL bubblebath complete with a glass of wine….and listening to Enya.

5 snacks I enjoy the most
Hot pepper jelly and cream cheese on crakers ( it’s a southern thing)
Christine’s artichoke and spinach dip
White trash onion dip
Chocolate
Boys

5 songs I know all the words to
Paradise by the dashboard lights – meat loaf
Enid – Barenaked Ladies
Curbside Prophet – Jason Mraz
Origin of Love – Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Ring them Bells – Liza Minnelli

5 things I would do with a billion dollars
I’d buy you a green dress ( but not a real green dress that’s cruel)
Pay off my goddamn house
Pay off your goddamn house
Buy a mountain
Build a house for all the numbers on the mountain

5 ideal places for running away
Ashville, NC
My mind, when it’s quiet
Into a good book
Into Lola’s Ipod
The MAC counter

5 items you’ll never see me wear
Super long hair ( ditto Stacey )
Belly Shirts
Stirrup Pants
And Pro-Republican shirt
Blonde hair

5 Best TV Shows
Andy Griffith Show
Designing Women ( Delta Burke era)
All Law and Order Versions
Great Performances on PBS
My name is Earl

5 Biggest Joys
When Christel calls and screams WHO DIS & WHAT DOIN
How excited Mike is to see me when I get home
When the new boy feeds me ice cream
That I have a tattoo that matches my girls
Knowing people love me when I can’t love myself

5 favorite toys
Make up
Nail Stuff
Hair Stuff
My Talking Pee Wee Herman Doll
Kitchen Aide

Swoony.

Rhymes with loony … and probably for good reason.

But that’s ok – it’s good to remember that I can feel this way. So, when last we talked “the boy” was coming over to cook me dinner.

And he did.

Like real, grown up food, he made Chicken Parmesan, and a fancee pasta thingy … was SUPER GOOD … and did I mention he was in MY kitchen cooking, while I sat across the bar, watched him and drank a beer.

Momma LIKE!

We ate, and watched movies, and snuggled – and had a really good time. We’re supposed to go out tonight – I hope we do, cause as sick as this is to say – I miss him.

UGH. What’s happened to me??!?!

But other than that – things are good – Christel called and had me laughing my ample ass off while she was talking about what she had in the grocery cart…which got us on the subject of … hell pretty much everything – but she was referring to what the “good” store has vs. the store she was in….which made me bring up the super wal mart.

Now, I’m a Target girl, but have spent much coin at ye old wal-mart …but to be honest – the super wally world kinda freaks me out.

WHY?

Cause I don’t think you should be able to buy the following things at the same store.

Group 1.
Side of beef
Douche
Snow Tires

Group 2
Fresh baked bread
Windshield Wiper Fluid
Ceiling Fan

Group 3
New Bedroom Suite
Handgun
Fried Chicken

Now I realize this is odd, cause I realize I’m southern – and seeing a road side mom and pop store that sells – say, Bait and Frozen Yogurt or Deer Hunting Licenses and Fancee Writing pens …. Phases me not.

But then if I saw a country store somewhere that had Feminine Hygiene Products and bait – I’d prolly keep on driving.

damnit this is funny ... and kinda like me and some NUMBERS i know.

and the new boy is still good - i'm still swoony - and that's good.

At the risk of totally jinxing things – I met a really great guy this weekend. Actually this weekend was full of boys. “J” and I went out Friday night to have a few beers and watch the braves game – always a good time…

Then on Saturday I had a first date with a new boy “R”.

We like him.

We went to the Vortex for burgers and beer – first of all, that’s an amazing start. We watched movies later that night and was good snugglin’ – we “fit” ya know when the lean in just fits… I love that.

And tonight he’s coming over to COOK ME DINNER.

I’ve already done a triple check, not married, not gay, homeowner, college educated, employed.

Could be the start of something good.

Could be a kick ass friend if nothing else.

And we like that.

hair - excellent
tits - looking great in this shirt
makeup - flawless

song - "alcohol" Brad Paisley


***
Check this out….

Boys are strange – lots of you know about my friend Shawn, he’s in Iraq with Georgia’s National Guard …. We’ve been friends for several years – sometimes friends with benefits, sometimes just friends. He called from Iraq a couple of days ago and we talked for about a ½ hour and he gave me his e-mail addy and IM and we just chit- chatted …then yesterday I got this email.



Hey,
well we sure do have a lot of catching up to do. I have an e mail typed up on my computer that explains everything. In a nut shell I live in the Triangle of Death, been mortared 6 times, hit so many times with a roadside bomb I lost count oh yeah I am engaged too. I know its not what you want to hear but its all explained in the e mail. Thanks for all you have done for me. Hope to hear from you soon.

Shawn


Now that he’s getting married is fine. He’s so NOT the one for me ( girls, you remember the “I don’t know what that means” thing)

But I love the casualness of it all ….OH YEAH, crack me directly up.

so i haven't written here for a while....why not allie? you might ask?

...traveled the world looking for hot gi's?
...continued stalking Ricky Martin?
...joined the road company of Mama Mia?
...convinced Mark Ruffalo to live with you in sin forever?

yeah.

um.

no.

i got fucking sick.

i got tonsillitis again.

3rd time this summer - and now i'm going to have to get these things ripped out of my head - this is NOT the face of a happy girl.. the face of a very tired, kinda spacey, really wishes she was home girl -yes .

but as always things could be worse - most of you know i am in social services, and when i returned to work this morning my desk was stacked to the sky with lists of shelters, help resources, calls for volunteers, and cries for help for refugee victims of Katrina.

so i'll shut up, take my anti-biotic and sign up on the volunteer list.

perspective.
it's all about perspective.