STUART
Listen, Sonny Jim, it's a known fact there's a society of the five wealthiest people in the world, called the Pentaverate, who run everything and meet three times a year at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as "The Meadows."

CHARLIE
(sarcastic)
And that's obviously why we haven't heard about it in the newspapers.

STUART
(inappropriately angry & loud)
That's right. They fuckin' own the papers, smartass. And everything else. Why do you think Scotland's not been able to get independence? Because the Queen the Pentavirate
and those English dome heads in West Minster won't have it.

CHARLIE
Who are the other members of this pentaverate?

STUART
The Queen, the Rothchilds, the Gettys, the Vatican, and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with his wee beady eyes. And that smug look on his face.

CHARLIE
Dad how can you hate "the Colonel?"

STUART
Because the Colonel puts an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave it fortnightly.

so i'll admit it here. i still sometimes watch "dawson's creek" i know it's trite - but jimmy crack corn, i don't care.

today joey's HAWT profressor ( from the old MTV sketch comedy show "the state", also was grace's 11 { 5 on one, 1/2 dozen on the other } boyfriend on will and grace, and has been on a couple of episodes of "Reno 911" {maybe the funniest show on tv, but that's another blog} ... anyway, he said something good "always stay on a first name basis with who you used to be"

i like that, cause lately like say the last couple of years, i'm not the girl i used to be. i feel like i can see her, and still recognize who she is, but the "me" now is closed off, not trusting, and scared.

those are 3 things that i NEVER would think that i would use to describe me, but it's kinda how i feel now and i'm tired of it. i'm not sure how to change it, without going "back" i don't wanna take steps backwards....i need to find how to be happy right here and right now, and stop worrying about the future and the past - i used to do that well, but let's face it the last year or so has been just plain awful ... and i 'm having a bitch of a time getting past it. but i am actively working on it, so i guess that's not nothing, and as of late, i remembered how to cry ( may sound like nothing, but i haven't been able to do it for a month or so.....tear back up is like orgasm backup, in that they are both BAD bidnesss)

on another front, it's wednesday, which means it's mom and allie hang out morning ( i first typed that 'hand out' morning - which is accurate too ) so that should be good - at the very least, i sure could use the company. and mike will appreciate 'grandma' being here, he's sick of my fat ass ... but since he's a dog, and can't speak to it - and still hasn't learned to unload the dishwasher, he'll just have to deal.

(note, entry not typed in word, no spell check involved in the production of this entry ...so you'll just have to deal too )

callback: i still think pacey, from the creek ... is way hot. just sayin',

yeah that's right, i'm almost 36 and called him way hot. shut up :)

so last night i was chatting with a friend and said how i need to blog...but didn't know what to say - he said "just write" ( or something like that ) my initial reaction was "just bite me". but now it's morning - i have coffee, and maybe a thing or two to say.

1. while i was waiting for the coffee to do it's magic in the machine this morning - i flipped on the tv, then looked to see what i had stored in the ol' tivo machine. the gathering of shows lined up made me laugh, it went a little something like this...
1. (2) episodes of "aqua teen hunger force"
2. (3) episodes of "family guy"
3. a show on last night about that defeo guy who killed his entire family ( the amityville horror killings)
4. a show about a serial killer who buried people in his backyard
5. oprah
6. the dog whisperer ( tex has never heard of this )
7. a henry rollins ( YUM, DAMN!) spoken word performance
8. office space
9. coal miner's daughter


choices, choices, choices .... so we have cartoons, serial killers, dog training, rants, and the first lady of country music.


2. is it too early for a nap?

'cause i love me some lo-retta.

*******************************************
what peggy sue's momma wrote...


You've come to tell me something you say I ought to know
That he don't love me anymore and I'll have to let him go
You say you're gonna take him
oh but I don't think you can
Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you they're a dime a dozen you can buy 'em anywhere
For you to get to him I'd have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here
It'll be over my dead body so get out while you can
Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man

Sometimes a man start lookin' at things that he don't need
He took a second look at you but he's in love with me
Well I don't know where they leave you oh but I know where I'll stand
And you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you they're a dime...No you ain't woman enough to take my man

***********************************
and now one time in french ( or in freedom if you will)...and i have NO idea if i'm breaking up the sentences correctly.... so let's deal.


Vous êtes venu pour me dire
quelque chose que vous dites je dois savoir
qu'il ne m'aiment plus et je aie dû le laisse partir vous vous dire
aille lui prendre l'OH mais je ne pense pas que vous pouvez vous
causer n'est pas femme assez pour prendre mes femmes d'homme
comme vous elles êtes un dixième de dollar par douzaine vous pouvez
acheter l''fin de support n'importe où pour vous pour lui obtenir
je devrais déplacer fini et je vais tenir la droite ici elle sera au-dessus
de mon corps mort ainsi sortez tandis que vous pouvez vous causer
n'est pas femme assez pour prendre à mon homme
\parfois un lookin de début d'homme 'aux choses

ax lesquelles il n'a pas besoin de lui a jeté un deuxième
coup d'oeil vous mais lui est dans l'amour avec moi bon moi
ne sait pas où ils vous laissent l'OH
mais je sais où je me tiendrai et vous n'est pas
assez femme pour prendre mes femmes d'homme comme
vous elles êtes un dixième de dollar... Aucun vous n'est pas assez femme pour prendre mon homme
*********************

and back to english .... kinda


_ you be come to me say something
that you say I must know that it me like more and I have must it let leave you
yourself say go him take the OH but I think not that you can yourself cause be not woman enough to take my wife of man
as you they be a tenth of dollar per dozen you can buy the ' end of support anywhere
for you to him obtain I should move finish and I go hold the line here
it be above of my dead-man mort thus leave while you can yourself
cause be not woman enough to take with my man

things with which it does not need him threw a second glance you
but is to him good in the love with me
me does not know where they leave you the OH but I know where I will be held
and is not to you enough woman to take my wives of man as you they are a tenth of dollar... No is to you enough woman to take my man

Accent – I have a wonderful southern accent. It gets stronger as I get more tired, but I do love it. I think southern accents are FANTASTIC. Not scary hillbilly accents, but a nice soft southern drawl works every time. "Darlin" said the right way can stop wars, soothe cranky babies, make men open their wallets, and fling panties right off! My accent is a mix of North Carolina Piedmont and north/central Georgia.

Booze of choice – Depends on what I’m doing. I La-hove bourbon but I’m also a beer girl, a pitcher of shiner and a burger make allie a happy girl

Chore I hate – The hands and knees cleaning of the floor. Hate it hate it hate it.

Dog or Cat – Duh. Dogs, I’d be the crazy dog lady if I had the space, I love my own personal pupper, and hope to add to the family in the next couple of years.

Essential electronics – Anything that plays music. I can live without tv, but I’d die without music.

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s) – I tend to wear essential oils more than perfume, I love amber, ginger ( shut up christel ) jasmine, those kinda things – my current shower gel is the B&BW ginger and verbena and shampoo/conditioner is origins ginger. I smell great, feel like crap – but smell great.

Gold or Silver? – Yes..

Hometown – Marietta, Georgia. Home of the Big Chicken. (but all my people are from Charlotte, North Carolina so i claim that too )

Insomnia? – More often that I’d like. But that’s life right? Besides, I do love an infomercial.

Job Title – Title free.

Kids? - I love kids, they taste like chicken

Living Arrangement – Homeowner, of the cleanest house in the world, with the best yard on the block.

Most admired trait - I listen. And I’m a great friend. ( and the rack of course)

Number of Sexual Partners – Define sex.

Overnight Hospital Stays - None

Phobia – Clowns. Stepping into a pair of shoes and discovering there’s a spider in them - this may explain my love of the flip flop.

Quote – What do I do for a living? I don’t fuck it up. // I used to give a damn, but now they have a patch for that

Religion – New age/ Progressive Christian

Siblings – None by blood, several sisters by choice. ( yes that includes the main gays)

Time I wake up – usually about 7:30. but on the weekends, I’ll go back to sleep.

Unusual talent/skill – I dunno.

Vegetable I refuse to eat – THE DREADED GREEN PEPPER.

Worst habit – not being happy with what ‘is’. Always wanting more.

X-rays – a few, always of the broken right ankle ( 3 x’s )

Yummy foods I make – child, I’m fat and southern, what CAN’T I cook. I rock the kitchen.

Zodiac sign – Gemini

I've been thinking a WHOLE lot about God lately.
I guess that's normal what with Easter, Passover, and the bounty ofspring in front of me ( and it's pollen all over me, but that's another story for another day )

I've watched just about every second of "God or the girl" on A&E thisweek. My first reaction is these people are crazy, literally crazy. But then I realized I was a little jealous. They are confident oftheir faith, and have no questions about it. The men portrayed have questions about how to act on that faith, but not the faith itself. (not to say that they're not still a little bit crazy…just crazy with a serious belief system that holds them when things are great and whenthey suck )

I have questions about what I believe, what I have faith in, how to show that faith, and what is 'right'. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm middle aged now ( on the YOUNGER side of it… but still ) and I guess a time for questions and reflection is common as I wonder what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and look back on these last 35 years.

I consider myself a bit of a new age nightmare, a mutt of many belief systems. I know some people think I'm totally wrong for that, that there is 'only' one way – and if I don't believe the way they do, I'm lost. Maybe it's easier for them. There are no questions, they know their answer, and all they have to do is what is written in red. I hate so much what the religious right has done to Christianity and I think Jesus is FANTASTIC, but his people suck. I told Stacey the otherday that Jesus needs better handlers, and while talking about it with my mom the other day, she thought that Jesus wouldn't like what hispeople were doing these days either.I did the quiz on beliefnet.com and came up 100% neo-pagan, then something like 96% Unitarian universalist, and 94% new thought. Which only kinda makes sense, I've been going to a Christian New Thought church for about 13 years now off and on. Lately more off than on. At first it was more of a question of the humans running the church –lately it's a question of me and God.