I've been thinking a WHOLE lot about God lately.
I guess that's normal what with Easter, Passover, and the bounty ofspring in front of me ( and it's pollen all over me, but that's another story for another day )

I've watched just about every second of "God or the girl" on A&E thisweek. My first reaction is these people are crazy, literally crazy. But then I realized I was a little jealous. They are confident oftheir faith, and have no questions about it. The men portrayed have questions about how to act on that faith, but not the faith itself. (not to say that they're not still a little bit crazy…just crazy with a serious belief system that holds them when things are great and whenthey suck )

I have questions about what I believe, what I have faith in, how to show that faith, and what is 'right'. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm middle aged now ( on the YOUNGER side of it… but still ) and I guess a time for questions and reflection is common as I wonder what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and look back on these last 35 years.

I consider myself a bit of a new age nightmare, a mutt of many belief systems. I know some people think I'm totally wrong for that, that there is 'only' one way – and if I don't believe the way they do, I'm lost. Maybe it's easier for them. There are no questions, they know their answer, and all they have to do is what is written in red. I hate so much what the religious right has done to Christianity and I think Jesus is FANTASTIC, but his people suck. I told Stacey the otherday that Jesus needs better handlers, and while talking about it with my mom the other day, she thought that Jesus wouldn't like what hispeople were doing these days either.I did the quiz on beliefnet.com and came up 100% neo-pagan, then something like 96% Unitarian universalist, and 94% new thought. Which only kinda makes sense, I've been going to a Christian New Thought church for about 13 years now off and on. Lately more off than on. At first it was more of a question of the humans running the church –lately it's a question of me and God.