i dunno why i picked that title, i wasn't really thinking of dionne warwick and her psychic friends...but i did watch Madagascar the other day and it makes mention of the zoo there, so maybe that was still floating in my noggin.

there's a whole lot, and a whole lot of nothing going on lately. there have been some changes at home. i'm trying to decide if i stay in atlanta or move to charlotte. there are major pros and cons for each, and i don't know which way to turn at the moment. i guess i don't have to know, but i wish i could just the same.

******

i love LOVE the show "starting over" i think it's a train wreck that i can't help but slow down to look at. one thing about it really makes me laugh, or giggle, or just feel superior. and that is the language and vocabulary they use on that show. they speak of being authentic, accountibility, living your truth, having open dialogue and communication. my friends and i speak of those things too - but we call it "putting on your big girl panties"

i myself have personally had to wear my big girl panties far too much recently - and for those of you who are familiar with the Sweet Potato Queens know that means i'm ready for a party cause we know that you "never wear panties to a party" life has been very hard and kicking me ( and several people i know ) in the ass lately - and we need a break. a break with some fruity drinks, cabana boys, sunshine, and beach music.
or at least a hammock and a snow cone machine. ( i am currently free of both, since i frekin dropped my snowcone machine { which for those of you familiar with southern sayings IS in fact just like dropping my basket } and i never had a hammock - but DAMN i want one )

i'm in a big lonely place right now, which are becoming more common than they used to be. i think it's not because i'm more lonely now than i've been in the past - i think it's because the 'wall' i had around me is really starting to come down. and only because it's too much work to keep it up there all the time.

i also think it's because of the loss of a friend. they're not dead or anything. but it seems the code has been called on the relationship and it's flatlined. i didn't realized that it bothered me ( or maybe wasn't able to admit it ) until christel called me on it the other night {when we were SUPPOSED to be figuring out how to help lola, NOT me!} but she's right. being dumped hurts pretty much no matter the relationship, friend, lover, whatever.

also, the sun has set on the new boy. it seems we can hang for about 5 months, which seems to be the deal breaker time. i think i'm really gonna miss what i thought he was. i guess that's true for my lost friend too - one thing i've often said is "if you can walk away from me, keep walkin"

but man, it hurts when they actually do.