this is a second attempt at a blog. my first one i enjoyed very much until some people decided they were allowed to talk to me anykinda way and i didn't have the right to defend myself. these aren't real flesh and blood people - well i'm sure they're actual people - but they're not people in my life.

like people i can hug and touch and cry with - those are read people.....

i'm working on getting rid of someone that does me no good. but i'm having a hard time doing it - i asked one of my favorite friends and confidants how can i be strong ...

and this is what she told me


Well, first, decide what you want. And if what you want is actually GOOD FOR YOU.
Then, decide if you want to ask for it or not.
And, if you do want to, then ask.
And then be OK with the response.

And you're gonna have to get Zen about this, because he's an emotional, fallable man. And really, he's not giving anything to you but pain. So, you have to decide if he's ever going to offer anything but pain, and go from there.

YOU have to make the choices. You have to decide how he's going to work in YOUR life. Or, you have to remove him, lovingly, from your life. (And you have to do it lovingly, because that's who you are. I'm sorry, but you are a loving person.) YOU have to make the choices. Take ALL your own power back. All of it. Give to God what is God's and take for yourself what is yours.

Do it now.

i'm trying to do it now.