So today I’m hanging out at home…and one of the best and most well odd things happened. It’s no secret that I HATE cleaning…. I’m the girl who loves to cook – but has eaten popcorn for dinner the last 3 nights because I can’t be forced to clean after cooking.

So the other day, mom calls and says “your father and I have been talking” now this phrase normally sends chills down my spine…but in this case she says

“ we know how much you hate cleaning – so we’re going to pay for you to have your house cleaned”

(insert choir of angels singing ‘here’)

last night I went around gathering up the big chunks and clearing off surfaces to prep for the cleaning lady …and this morning took mike over to the neighbors house to play with another dog .. and waited with baited breasts for the “ding dong” of the door bell…

and right on time – she arrives and guilt runs thru my veins like ice… my liberal brothers and sisters will understand this – but I suffer from a little something called white liberal guilt.

I’m sitting on my sofa, watching Chicago hope and drinking coffee – feeling pretty damn guilty that there is a middle aged African American woman cleaning up dog fur …. While also trying to remind myself that it’s work – and there’s honor in all work… yadda yadda yadda

Anyway – I’m drinking my “uhlertide” coffee – and if you don’t know what that is – you’re not supposed to know and I can’t help you. And with the watching of daytime TV. This is not something I normally do – cause it sucks rocks… ( but then I found Chicago hope.. and remembered my love of the sexy mofo mr. Arkin {shut up} and also my love of “The Creek” as in Dawson’s.. and when I say Dawson I mean PACEY.

ANYHO, this commercial came on – which is in fact THE worst commercial ever. It was for some adult maxi pad / adult diaper product and get this …

They made a daisy like flower out of the pads. ( ok - let that sink in for a minute) They then had this “flower” in a vase and showed how the pads soaked up the water from the vase … like that expirment with a carnation and food coloring in elementary school.

Really?
Really?
Really.

Someone had to come up with this idea, present it to some kind of committee, the committee tweaked with it, got more people to finance this advertising masterpiece – they then cast and shot the commercial then sat back and watched and said “YEAH! This it it, it’s gold jerry”

But me, all I can think of is “fresh as a daisy”

A daisy sitting in it’s own pad of pee.

On another note, the a/c had been replaced finally – so I can once again sleep in my own bed – thank god because I was just outside and it’s in fact hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell out there ( but at least I hear that the heat in hell is a dry heat)

****************************
Ok – so I wrote that first part this morning at around 10:00 or 10:30 ..,and it’s now 1:52 pm and

SHE IS STILL ON JUST THE UPSTAIRS

I told you I had a dog that shed a lot -… but this has gone from the embarrassing to the HYSTERICAL

The owner of the company ( who’s a guy ) just showed up to check on her and how he’s running the vaccum … this poor woman has been working since 8:50 this morning …. Non stop … and I can’t stop laughing at how absurd this is …

My home is NOT messy – it’s all manner of tidy … I was just hoping to get the ‘clean’ back to square one.

I’m so giggling as I write this that I’m not entirely sure I don’t need one of those damn flower petal adult products …
********************
Update 3.0

Ok people – It’s 3:16 – and they are STILL HERE.
I have to go to the grocery store etc… hurry it up!