This is the face of an irrigated/IRRITATED/and yet still fabulous woman. (thank you stacey)I wrote some funny funny shit and then my computer went all wonky and kicked me off line and I of course lost it all. So now I’m trying to recreate some of it – while working in word so that maybe if this happens again, I can salvage some of it … but what sucks is some of it was really fuckin funny.
Anyhow, lemme see – I first wanted to wish everyone a happy week after Christmas – and hope everyone’s holiday of choice was a good one. I’m at work this week – and note I didn’t say I was working – just AT work – big differences there. I’ve been reading some blogs and diaries this weekend and have seen that many people are talking about New Year’s Resolutions and remembrances of 2004 – so who am I to go against the establishment.
So, as we all know – I adore the list …. And I’ve composed sorta a quasi list of what I liked and disliked about 2004 and changes in store for 2005
*My favorite line from 2004 … this was a late entry in the year – in fact is happened just last week by the newly out big gay husband “ judgment doesn’t look good on anyone and it certainly doesn’t go with those shoes” ok that is just plain funny. We love Dave. Honorable Mention – happened just last night “fuck-a doodle-doo” try to say that and not giggle.
Favorite Hair Color from 2004 – That super funky burgundy that the rock star did for me when she visited … runner up – Feria – French Roast ( goes along nicely with my love of the coffee products ) - and it matches mary's color - could that BE more right? um, nope/
And again, big thanks and love to all my friends – and a HUGE hug to Christine for doing what she did. Pretty fuckin’ cool.
So … let’s look at resolutions …
exercise – I will exercise less restraint in telling people what I think of them. If I adore you, you know it. If I don’t – believe it or not, I DO hold back. But I think that’s going to stop. I don’t know if it’s a southern thing, a woman thing, and sometimes red-head thing or what. But I tend to go to the “ I respect where you’re coming from, but I respectfully disagree”….ok that’s stopping. If I think you’re a fuckwit. I’m going to tell you. I will count to 10, be sure to mean what I’m saying - but I will say it … my advice to you is if you hear me counting – walk away DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK, but walk away. I may use phrases you know – and I might use some that are special to just me. Know this, if I call you a “shellfish loving dentist”…. You are now dead to me.
eating right – I, like many women with big boobs sometimes have trouble getting the food over the boobs and into the mouth. I’m gonna work on that. And will therefore be eating “right”
I will not date boys I don’t like just for the free meal. ( note – I reserve the right to change this at any moment as needed ) and note I didn’t say I would not date for the free drinks … it’s just the meal I’m cutting out … sorta. ( I am kinda broke – and I do like to eat out … so …. Well, this one isn’t looking too good)
Get back to going to church most every Sunday ( and NOT the Church of St. Mattress, or the Church of Charles Kuralt ) but remember if God is in your heart – wherever you are is technically church … so if I’ve had a big night before and don’t feel like putting on pantyhose … I’m still actually ‘at’ church even if I’m not in the building right?
Try to NOT give a damn. Spend NO energy on those whose mere presence on the planet pisses me off, the fact that they still breathe seems unfair. Fuck em.
Continue on the never ending quest to find the perfect shade of auburn hair … one day I’ll find it I’m sure … and until I do – I need to make sure the fine people at L’oreal still have jobs …
I’m sure there are more that I could come up with – but see, we have NO CREAMER at the office –and I’m coffee less … so this is best I’ve got for the moment.
Happy New Year people! I love you all….