Tuesday, December 28, 2004
yadda yadda yadda

This is the face of an irrigated/IRRITATED/and yet still fabulous woman. (thank you stacey)I wrote some funny funny shit and then my computer went all wonky and kicked me off line and I of course lost it all. So now I’m trying to recreate some of it – while working in word so that maybe if this happens again, I can salvage some of it … but what sucks is some of it was really fuckin funny.

Anyhow, lemme see – I first wanted to wish everyone a happy week after Christmas – and hope everyone’s holiday of choice was a good one. I’m at work this week – and note I didn’t say I was working – just AT work – big differences there. I’ve been reading some blogs and diaries this weekend and have seen that many people are talking about New Year’s Resolutions and remembrances of 2004 – so who am I to go against the establishment.

So, as we all know – I adore the list …. And I’ve composed sorta a quasi list of what I liked and disliked about 2004 and changes in store for 2005

*My favorite line from 2004 … this was a late entry in the year – in fact is happened just last week by the newly out big gay husband “ judgment doesn’t look good on anyone and it certainly doesn’t go with those shoes” ok that is just plain funny. We love Dave. Honorable Mention – happened just last night “fuck-a doodle-doo” try to say that and not giggle.

Favorite Hair Color from 2004 – That super funky burgundy that the rock star did for me when she visited … runner up – Feria – French Roast ( goes along nicely with my love of the coffee products ) - and it matches mary's color - could that BE more right? um, nope/

And again, big thanks and love to all my friends – and a HUGE hug to Christine for doing what she did. Pretty fuckin’ cool.

So … let’s look at resolutions …

exerciseI will exercise less restraint in telling people what I think of them. If I adore you, you know it. If I don’t – believe it or not, I DO hold back. But I think that’s going to stop. I don’t know if it’s a southern thing, a woman thing, and sometimes red-head thing or what. But I tend to go to the “ I respect where you’re coming from, but I respectfully disagree”….ok that’s stopping. If I think you’re a fuckwit. I’m going to tell you. I will count to 10, be sure to mean what I’m saying - but I will say it … my advice to you is if you hear me counting – walk away DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK, but walk away. I may use phrases you know – and I might use some that are special to just me. Know this, if I call you a “shellfish loving dentist”…. You are now dead to me.

eating right – I, like many women with big boobs sometimes have trouble getting the food over the boobs and into the mouth. I’m gonna work on that. And will therefore be eating “right”

I will not date boys I don’t like just for the free meal. ( note – I reserve the right to change this at any moment as needed ) and note I didn’t say I would not date for the free drinks … it’s just the meal I’m cutting out … sorta. ( I am kinda broke – and I do like to eat out … so …. Well, this one isn’t looking too good)

Get back to going to church most every Sunday ( and NOT the Church of St. Mattress, or the Church of Charles Kuralt ) but remember if God is in your heart – wherever you are is technically church … so if I’ve had a big night before and don’t feel like putting on pantyhose … I’m still actually ‘at’ church even if I’m not in the building right?

Try to NOT give a damn. Spend NO energy on those whose mere presence on the planet pisses me off, the fact that they still breathe seems unfair. Fuck em.

Continue on the never ending quest to find the perfect shade of auburn hair … one day I’ll find it I’m sure … and until I do – I need to make sure the fine people at L’oreal still have jobs …

I’m sure there are more that I could come up with – but see, we have NO CREAMER at the office –and I’m coffee less … so this is best I’ve got for the moment.

Happy New Year people! I love you all….

posted by Allie @ 12/28/2004 09:54:00 AM


At 10:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please to be explaining the genus of “shellfish loving dentist”

Or n0t whatever.

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Champagnelady59 said...

OHHH Those sound like good resolutions.

I resolve....
Back on the diet...I've gone off for this week

Back to walking on my nights off of work.

fun.....I used to be and have fun and have lost that I want it back.

sex.....been a looooooonnngggg time....may have to find this this year......come on allie lets go.

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Tasty said...

OK, before I can even read any further, I fell OUT at the face of an "irrigated woman" because I didn't know anyone was watering you!!!!!! XOXO

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Wendy said...

No, it is not a dream. It is I, the one and only Wendy. OR you can call me your "girlfriend" as that is what the neighbor has so deemed me. Hee hee!
Per usual, you have cracked me up this day. I will consider it a late Christmas gift. It so pisses me off that I do not have more time for the sport of blogging. It is my friend and you are my friend. Yay you!

At 12:25 PM, Blogger M'Ary* said...

No one should be getting irrigated at work. It's just not right.

As for resolutions, I hereby resolve to remain thoroughly unresolved in 2005.

At 1:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really glad to hear that you're getting enough water. Not everyone does, you know.

At 2:11 PM, Blogger se7en said...

Dear Bitchcakes!!

ware tha hell u cum up wit
all dis stuf from gurl??

i was in tears at the "exercise"
and it just wouldn't stop!!!

ooo i hate ya soooo much for
being sooo damn funny!!!

but i still luvs me some
hot and speesy bitchcakes~~!


At 2:53 PM, Blogger amy said...

Dear Bitchcakes... is Seven drunk? I loved the list. I am home sick for real...visiting the porcelin god as I read blogs all afternoon... I KNOW thanks for the visual. Anytime sister. I am now inspired to think up my own list of resolutions besides telling BRAZY to bugger off and find his own sex slave. Though..he really was a good shag. We ARE every women.. go Chaka Khan go! Hugs and hold on, I need to oh..nevermind, got it together sister. And I am not even drunk, just feeling like shit. God Bless you though, I adore you. inky

At 11:59 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Thanks for the link, I appreciate it!! Yeah, I'm boob challenged too. I feel for ya. I once lost a writing pen under mine. Took me half a day to find the damn thing. Happy 2005 to you!!

At 8:57 AM, Blogger Jackie said...

Hi! Cheers to you for an honest and hype list. I will be thinking on some of that today to keep me smiling. Of course, I knew that coming from you it wouldn't be some losery lose weight and be nice to cats list.

At 9:46 AM, Blogger Dave said...

I love the list and think those are excellent resolutions.

As for my award, I would like to thank two people: 1) Bitchcakes for recognizing it (because she's the most importnat part) and 2) the person it was originally directed towards for continuing her blatant fuck-stickness thereby allowing me the opportunity to comment about judgement and her shoes
...music places as I walk off the comment page to greet the press...

At 10:10 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

psst - dave ... you're my favorite - don't tell the others :)

At 10:40 AM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...


you had me at "exercise"


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