Wednesday, June 07, 2006
ok, i know i'm 'that guy'

that guy who has a cleaning schedule.

i like the house clean. and organized ( duh ). but clean.

i like knowing that anytime day or night, someone could knock on my door and my house is neat. no "here, lemme move that", no "i'm so sorry, i meant to pick that up", no "please excuse the mess". cause, there is no mess.

now, i realize i live alone ( aside from the great shedding machine ) and it's easier to clean up for one but DAMN.

there is a reason for the rantage. stick with me.

i was cleaning out a file cabinet this evening, when my neighbor called and said something along the lines of " (husband) is outside watching the car, and i'm outside talking with some neighbors and drinking some wine, wanna come join me for a cocktail"

me: "fuckin duh"

so, i straighten the mess a wee bit, and head outside.

we're chatting, drinking, i'm watching the breeders run after the 700 toddlers in the neighborhood, and a next door neighbor drives up ( in the mini van of course). her 2 kids come accross the lawn to show us ( well, ME for some reason ) their library books. Mom really is a beautiful woman, but she is d-u-n done. worn smack out.

She's offered a glass of wine, ( again with the fookin duh ) ... so there's the scene, we're all outside "traveler" of wine and chattin.

her kids start to go a little wild, and she invites us to her house so the kids can be insane in their own personal i had heard tale of this house, so i needed to see with my own eyes.

now, all this to follow is super bitchy ( i bet you saw that coming ) - because seriously, this woman has her hands full, 2 small children, a waste of space husband, and from a wealthy foreign family, where she is used to be taken care of, not the care taker.

BUT GET BACK LORETTA! ( sidebar, RIP Billy Preston )

That house was a HOT SHITTY MESS. I've, wow - i mean WOW.

stuff EVERWHERE! yes not everYwhere, everwhere.

dirty dishes? check
clean dishes? check
toys everywhere check
dog food on floor? check
dog? NO , they don't have a dog. ( right )
newspapers scattered? check
kitchen island countertops hidden with crap? check
laundry room overflowing with clothes? check

me, taking a silkwood shower and re-vacuuming the house as soon as i got back.

big. fuckin. check.

( then i did the swiffer duster, febreezed the house, & straightened up again just to balance the neighborhood chi)

{ with all that bitchiness said, i really do feel sorry for her, she's gotta be completely overwhelmed, bless her heart ( that was a genuine heart blessing, just so you know ) }

posted by Allie @ 6/07/2006 12:06:00 AM


At 9:41 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

I could have written this post! Outta my head, woman!

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Tasty said...

You do SO crack me up. I could *hear* you saying, "hot shitty mess"!

At 7:03 PM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...

did you just say ASSGOBLIN?

At 11:30 PM, Blogger Beth said...


I think my favorite was the "silkwood shower"!

At 6:34 PM, Blogger Fabio has something to say said...

I stumbled across your blog on a search for "fabulous blogs" I know why you are considered fabulous! It looks like we have more in common than blogging!


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