Monday, June 26, 2006
i still remember the password to this thing, who knew?

i know i haven't posted in a while, and i kept saying to myself ( and tex ) that i didn't have anything to say.

actually that's totally wrong. i have so much to say, but thing is i feel a great wave of honesty coming. thing is, i'm not scared that my friends who read this(and the people who read this with the hope of me being unhappy so they can sqawk about it in other blogs) and what their opinions of me might be or how they might change.

i'm a little concerned about my opinion of me and how that might change.

i've been introspection girl lately. i've read my cards, checked my numbers ( well, those numbers too ), gone back to church, meditated, prayed, cried, laughed, journaled, i've gotten out old hymnals and sung songs in my room that once brought me answers....and so far, i've yielded nothing.

i think i don't know the question to ask. and maybe that's cause i don't really want to know the answer yet. maybe the key is just to shut up and listen and watch. i was thinking and looking at this amazing tree in my front yard. that tree knows what to do and when. it knows when to bloom, when to be dormant and re-charge, when to shed and begin the process to renew.

i need to be able to do this. i seem to be spun up all the time. sometimes that manifests itself in being totally paralyzed, sometimes in manic panic, sometimes in uncontrollable crying jags, but rarely in calm.

that's my goal for the rest of this week, to stay in the calm. to bend like the tree, and to never forget that even in the darkest time, the light is there if i remember to look. ( nod to dumbledore there) ... and i am the light, it's in me. and in you, if i forget that, when i call you - remind me please.

posted by Allie @ 6/26/2006 10:57:00 PM
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8 Comments:

At 11:46 PM, Blogger tinyhands said...

Best post in the history of the Allie.

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger christ*el #3tx said...

ima hafta agree with tex.

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger Allie#3ga said...

let's not start agreeing with tex willy nilly. :)

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

No lets not. That could lead to a pile on and somone will break a nail. That's bad, very very bad.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Miss Pickle said...

Um, yeah, love that post.

Never forget that you have the light inside you! Big hugs!

:O)

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Tasty said...

You made me cry the happy tears. I love you and the big Allie-Light inside.

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger Lola said...

so i guess asking to see your boobs would be inappropriate now, huh?

all right, show me the Allie-Light instead. i look amazing in Allie-Light. but you look better.

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger amy said...

i dont get the scissors cutting at the top of each of your posts. care to explain?

 

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