consider yourself warned.

I'm feelin' good this morning - which is a nice change of pace from the hormone induced nightmare that was yesterday - but i will give myself big credit for one thing. I usually do not require other people to act in my drama. it's a one woman show and i keep it thata way.

i talked with DB for a while last night and that was good - cause i haven't done that in a while - and i was missing her funny ass - then ( of course ) i talked with mary about 10 times...and talked for a while with stacey. i'm so lucky to have friends i can completely be ME with. no show. no performance. no pretention. just me. and they like me for just me. when i'm funny and when i'm not ( not that the not part is very often mind you )

stacey and i were discussing how lucky we are to realize that we never have to date "ted". everyone knows a "ted" and there was one time where i thought "ted" was all i was ever gonna get and i was ok ( not really ) with that. Hell, stacey married "ted" ... i'm glad i avoided that. and now she's out of that and he's someone else's albatross. and for that all the lord's people said AMEN.

for a while it seems like i was not all that particular in who i went out with or spent my time with ( manly speaking ) i was of the "sure, let's go out, why not" philosophy ... also known as the you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. then i realized that to buy into that whole prince charming thing - you have to believe that you need to be rescued from something. and with that type of thinking, you can only equate happiness to being with someone .... and that other person is what defines you. and i don't believe that anymore. i know i used to , and i don't know when i changed my mind on that .... but i'm glad i did. Now, please don't get me wrong. I still want to be with that "forever" guy... i like being a couple. and i'm a kick ass girlfriend, with the right guy - but i'm also ok with how things are right now. i want someone that doesn't want to be saved or mothered either ..... and i'm sure there's one or two of them left out there..

i think back to those days when we ( or at least i ) made these extensive lists of what i was looking for in a husband. i actually have one of those lists in a paper diary at home - and to look at it is pretty funny .... and i think now to what's important. and it's SO different ..... of course looks are to be considered .....cause well, cause they are - but some things are actually SO much more important - like can he carry on a decent conversation? ... does he make me laugh? .... is he aware of what's going on in the world? .... can he be honest? it's sorta one of those situations where you realize how much more attractive someone is ( male or female ) that can do those things ... or maybe it's just me.. ... but i think that's part of what i like about these blogs ... it's a peek into a moment of honesty and commentary - i like both of those things.

...i can tell this is going to be one of those entries i add to as the day goes on ... so check back ... i might eventually be funny or witty or smart.